Hi
@update2020 ,
My story is as positive as
@CAL Y . We had been married 39 years when my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the age of 62. All of our married life he has encouraged me and supported me as I hopefully did him. We had friends who were also dealing with dementia, we were introduced to them by his Community Psychiatric Nurse. I also gained friends through DTP, big thanks to them too for their support. My husband was at home with me for seven years followed by four years in a nursing home.
When he died aged 73 my world fell apart as it does for many of us but I wanted to show him I’d be ok. It took time but slowly I chose to accept invites from friends and suggestions of outings and holidays. The first birthday, wedding anniversary, his death we’re all painful but I suddenly realised that all the bad memories of his 11 years with Alzheimers were disappearing and being replaced with all the good memories of the previous 39. He is always with me, I’m not a widow, I am still his wife. There are days when things are not good, sometimes a sad memory pops up and certainly days when I need him to change a light bulb, climb in the attic for me, etc. and he is not there but I just sit them out, no point fighting them, tomorrow is another day.
The sadness of our life not being what we had planned will always be there but it is no longer painful. Things I cannot change I won’t allow to upset me.
So 6 years after his death, with the help of lovely friends and wonderful children life is as good as it could be, perhaps far better than I ever thought it would be when I lost him, just 2 months before our 50 wedding anniversary.