Personal hygiene

GrahamH

New member
Jul 21, 2019
3
0
Hello.
I hope someone can help me with a slightly delicate problem.
My wife has Alzheimers and recently she's stopped showering every day. I've tried to encourage her but that often ends in us arguing.
I have asked her calmly why she doesn't shower daily and tried to explain the need to do so but all she says is "I don't like it". I have tried to shock her into keeping herself clean by telling her she smells, which she does, but nothing is working.
Does anyone have any ideas?
 

Scarlet Lady

Registered User
Apr 6, 2021
573
0
Unless you can substitute a bath for the shower, I agree with @Jessbow , a strip wash is the only answer, although that may not be without its difficulties.
As I understand it, many PWDs find it hard to tolerate a shower. The drops raining down on their over sensitive skin can feel like needles to them, although they can’t really articulate this. My aunt has this issue and as her home has only a shower and no bath, it’s problematic. We are still looking for a solution, especially as washing at the sink is becoming almost an impossibility.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
1,137
0
Mum never would shower, she didn't like the feel of the water on her, but she could usually be persuaded to have a wash.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
1,103
0
My dad refused to bath or shower and this went on for the last three years of his life. Carers had to strip wash dad daily as he had lost bowel control and wore a catheter I can say they did do their best. Obviously it was not the best way to keep dad really clean but its all dad would allow. My understanding was he was fearful of not only water from the bath/shower but getting into it as well. I believe this stemmed from the fact we found him in the bath late one morning before it was apparent to us he had dementia. Dad was in the bath for several hours because we couldn't get him out as he was not willing to assist us in removing him plus we couldn't be sure if he had hurt himself there was no water in it and didn't look like there had been. We ended up keeping him wrapped up making him tea /sandwiches and had to call an ambulance. The ambulance took several hours to come took dad to hospital where he stayed for a few days and he was treated for a urine infection, his kidney function was poor and it was then that he had a permanent catheter fitted and arrangement for him to receive carers visit four times daily. I think you may have to consider strip washes at least for now perhaps your wife may accept something else in the future but dad never did.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
744
0
I wouldn’t have had the energy to shower my OH every day, but I got him into it once a week. If he didn’t feel like it, then he just shaved, a wash of the face and teeth and that was it.
 

Suesue.G.

Registered User
Aug 9, 2020
79
0
I can only manage to persuade my OH to have a shower once a week. He is meticulous about cleaning his teeth and likes to maintain his beard, with a little help . I make sure he has clean clothes every day. When he does shower, he seems to enjoy it
 

silkiest

Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
865
0
Hi @GrahamH, MIL is hit and miss with baths as she thinks she has one twice weekly. Sometimes the only way is to prepare the bath and then act like it was her plan (she won't shower at all). Our main problem was hair washing - she firmly believed she was washing her own hair and would not let myself or the carers do it for her. The problem has been solved by taking her regularly to the hairdresser as she accepts them washing her hair. Other people on this forum have found other solutions such as dry shampoos and wet wipes.
Sometimes I have found it is the clothes that smell more than the person - could that be a problem with your wife ? I have to remove dirty clothes from the wardrobe and wash them as MIL does not live with us. Other people that live with their PWD will try and remove clothing at bedtime etc.
 

GrahamH

New member
Jul 21, 2019
3
0
Hi @GrahamH, MIL is hit and miss with baths as she thinks she has one twice weekly. Sometimes the only way is to prepare the bath and then act like it was her plan (she won't shower at all). Our main problem was hair washing - she firmly believed she was washing her own hair and would not let myself or the carers do it for her. The problem has been solved by taking her regularly to the hairdresser as she accepts them washing her hair. Other people on this forum have found other solutions such as dry shampoos and wet wipes.
Sometimes I have found it is the clothes that smell more than the person - could that be a problem with your wife ? I have to remove dirty clothes from the wardrobe and wash them as MIL does not live with us. Other people that live with their PWD will try and remove clothing at bedtime etc.

Hello.
I hope someone can help me with a slightly delicate problem.
My wife has Alzheimers and recently she's stopped showering every day. I've tried to encourage her but that often ends in us arguing.
I have asked her calmly why she doesn't shower daily and tried to explain the need to do so but all she says is "I don't like it". I have tried to shock her into keeping herself clean by telling her she smells, which she does, but nothing is working.
Does anyone have any ideas?

Hello.
I hope someone can help me with a slightly delicate problem.
My wife has Alzheimers and recently she's stopped showering every day. I've tried to encourage her but that often ends in us arguing.
I have asked her calmly why she doesn't shower daily and tried to explain the need to do so but all she says is "I don't like it". I have tried to shock her into keeping herself clean by telling her she smells, which she does, but nothing is working.
Does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks to all that replied with good information.
I have learned new things, ( never too late) and will make necessary changes.
Thanks again.
 

asriela

Registered User
Oct 17, 2021
39
0
Also, dont worry about her hair because it cleans itself after about 8 weeks - ideally you would use water but my mothers hair hasnt been washed for 3 months and it is soft and clean looking with no smells.

My mother is bed bathed every day by a carer but when she was a bit more compos mentis she would use baby wipes. I told her they were special wipes from the doctor to help protect her sensitive delicate skin and she used them with me telling her what to do.

I have known of people who say thta we all wash too much anyway and as long as private areas are washed, we can go without even water washing because the skin is self cleaning. It takes a few weeks to rebalance though and for that time the pongs are many and various so I personally have never had the courage to try this!
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
126
0
Thanks to all that replied with good information.
I have learned new things, ( never too late) and will make necessary changes.
Thanks again.
It's difficult getting my wife into the bath, usually end up getting her to stand in it and i assist her with washing. As to her smelling, does she go to the toilet herself. My wife used to but found she was damp and smelling. My solution is to assist her every time she goes as I found she wasn't wiping herself and also, she'd try to sit down with her underwear still on.
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
744
0
I also use something my mother used for her hair, called Nil Aqua. It’s liquid you put on your hair, rub in and towel dry, and leaves the hair clean. My hair is quite short, so I use it if I don’t feel like a shower.
 

twojonboy

New member
Mar 22, 2020
2
0
Good information here guy’s. I struggle with my wife’s hygiene. She used to love her bath,but now it’s a struggle. I have to watch her when she goes, because she forgets to wipe. Good to know I’m not alone. Keep strong.
 

Don T

Registered User
Jun 28, 2017
21
0
Hi, in a similar position, particularly to the twojonboy above. I bath my wife once a week if lucky, but it is a bit of a struggle, she requires to be held in place otherwise she slips around.
As we progress, a lot of the norms are lost, but my intention is contentment.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
I agree @Don T you must be really careful ... if you slip the 2 of you could be badly hurt
Contact your Local Authority Social Services for an assessment of your wife's care needs which ought to include an O T visit to suggest aids and adaptions to help you both ...maybe your GP would make a referral too, have a chat with them
You can also look for bathing aids online
 

CharlotteScr

Registered User
Dec 1, 2021
10
0
Your posts are so helpful- when we are struggling with a new issue with Mum's dementia, there is always so much helpful advice here- thank you so much! My Mum is starting to struggle with getting in and out of the bath and is consequently telling us she has bathed when she hasn't. It's clear she does now need help (she refuses it) adn we are looking at bathing aids. Has anyone used bathing lifts? Any things to watch out for?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hi @CharlotteScr

I would reccommend that you ask your mums GP for an OT assessment.
OH had an OT assessment and the OT who came was brilliant. She checked him for all sorts of things and suggested things I hadnt even thought about.
 

Bakerst

Registered User
Mar 4, 2022
319
0
I told the alzheimer's nurse about the struggle I have getting OH out of the bath, she referred me to the OT, who was also brilliant and she got us a bath lift. It's working quite well
 

Pork Pie lady

Registered User
Mar 16, 2013
677
0
Anglia
Due to various issues including a double amputation and unhealed wound my husband has been unable to bath or shower for sometime. The last shower he had was in January the day before his first amputation, he has survived on strip washes since then.

He did have carers coming in every day to help him wash but we found they often came before he felt ready to get up and never knowing what time they would come was quite disruptive to our morning routine so we said thanks but no thanks. Since then the washes have gone down to an average of about once in 2 weeks maybe less, hair is very short and just gets the flannel rubbed over it. He doesn't move about much to get hot but I have been very surprised that despite some minor continence problems and all this hot weather he doesn't smell, his hair hasn't got greasy and hasn't had any skin problems.

I count myself fortunate in the lack of problems due hardly any washing but maybe it is an indicator that in some cases it might not be worth the agro.