My dad is the main carer for my mum who has alzheimers but I help on a monday and tues from 9.30 till 6 pm. Mum refuses to let dad care for her in anyway at all which makes things really tricky as she is now unable to do anything for herself. She now sleeps in her clothes (even her coat if she has it on) and won't change except when I insist. we're getting so desperate as mum hasn't had a bath in months now. The most she lets me do against her will is get her to remove her tights and put her feet in a bowl and change her clothes. (I have to pretend I'm caring for her feet and tell her the doctor said I must). I have tried to run baths but she goes hysterical and says she wants to die. She was always such a clean proud lady and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I pursuaded dad to involve carers which he eventually gave into but as he has to pay per hour he only has some one in an hour on a thursday. She manages to do the same as I do but she can't manage to do more either. Doctor's have suggested mum needs sedatives to calm her down but dad is not happy at the moment to try this. I think if he had reassurance that this would calm her enough to be able to clean her up properly each week that maybe he would try it. Has anyone any suggestions please??