you have done better than i would do. i dont want to see, hear and definitely no caring of any description for my father. i was thinking of writing him a letter and put it in his coffin so all the hurt goes with him. i never want a penny out of him either. im no hypocrite. i cant even go to family funerals in case hes there.
for you to visit, hold hands, be in the same room is testament to your tenacity and trying to look for signs that she understands what she has done. you have done more than any should expect. doing your best is an understatement of what you have actually done. youve gone above and beyond and i hope that you will have peace and acceptance you did her proud
Acceptance .. it’s not always easy is it? I wrote a letter to my Dad explaining how I loved him & thanking him for always being there for me, but I don’t think I could put into words or want to write down the mixed bag of emotions I feel towards Mum.
Accepting that I loved unconditionally has been hard enough at times. My Mum will carry to the grave her issues, I hope that she will find peace soon. Mum is frightened of dying, how sad is that ? I’m not frightened of dying but am not ready to leave my loved ones yet.
My Grandmother & Grandfather were terrified of dying like Mum is , guess it’s a learnt behaviour. My Dad just didn’t want to leave me, & held on as long as he could.
so yes acceptance … I’m working on it
Thank you , your words have unlocked some things for me today. It has made me feel more settled in my own thoughts
xx
(((hugs)))