So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
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Moreton, Wirral. UK.
A wonderful day yesterday being visited by Paulines youngest grandson, his partner and their lovely new daughter, Tallulagh.
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Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Well, we got over the excitement of all the visits and so all settled back to the normality of just the two of us. Strange how quiet it is and not because of the lack of visitors, no, Pauline has almost stopped watching TV all together. First it was a list of old and new ‘continuing drama’ series, Casualty, Holby and even Eastenders! Then her “cops and robbers” series, all wiped of the series link button. Instead she sits, mainly with her eyes shut just thinking. We do get out for our walks which last a maximum of 10 mins a time and she will head over the road to Aldi for the slightest excuse but otherwise no interests at all. Will not even enter a cafe and as for joining with others in a group forget it. She seems in good health and yet another phase in Dementias journey Has begun.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Your Pauline looks so happy with the new baby (who is gorgeous). Good that Pauline seems content. I hope you are on the mend @Agzy and getting to do some things that you want to do/
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
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Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Given until recently I have been relatively fit and confident in looking after Pauline for ages to come, yet my recent illnesses having left me exhausted and weak and so I have reevaluated. We live in a 3 bed semi detached house with all ameneties upstairs and, as rented, no conversions or alterations are allowed which clearly means a big decision to be made. To move or not to move after 26 happy year here?
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,129
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Southampton
Given until recently I have been relatively fit and confident in looking after Pauline for ages to come, yet my recent illnesses having left me exhausted and weak and so I have reevaluated. We live in a 3 bed semi detached house with all ameneties upstairs and, as rented, no conversions or alterations are allowed which clearly means a big decision to be made. To move or not to move after 26 happy year here?
thats a difficult decision. its privately rented isnt it? if it was council, you might have got adaptions. we have lived in our house 26 years and it will be a wrench when we need to move.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
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Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Yes, @jennifer1967 we rent from my daughter but the flats we have applied for are sheltered through the agency that covers all the old council stock. To be honest the house design would limit what could be done and still wouldnt suit I think.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
The young lady we have in to do the cleaning is on holiday this week and so I returned to my previous duties of shared housework which includes the hoovering of all floors, carpeted and wooden then sat back “out of the way,” with a cup of coffee while Pauline wielded the mop not once or twice but three times she cleaned them with a running commentary of how filly the house is. My house proud better half is back but is exhausting herself “getting the house clean for the cleaner!”
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,442
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Kent
It`s hard to find a `happy medium` isn't it @Agzy. Either Pauline is sitting with eyes closed doing nothing or wielding a mop.

I do hope you are able to find somewhere more suitable to live but wonder how you would manage the move.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
696
0
Lincolnshire
I would not recommend moving, Pauline’s independence will be immediately massively impacted. The longer you can stay where she is familiar the longer it will be before she can’t go out on her own and gets lost in her own home. If the house isn’t the way you like it, it doesn’t matter. My house has never been cleaned as little, or poorly, as now, and is also starting to look shabby and a bit of a mess, but it’s not really important. I think you’re both doing great. Sending lots of good wishes.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I would not recommend moving, Pauline’s independence will be immediately massively impacted. The longer you can stay where she is familiar the longer it will be before she can’t go out on her own and gets lost in her own home. If the house isn’t the way you like it, it doesn’t matter. My house has never been cleaned as little, or poorly, as now, and is also starting to look shabby and a bit of a mess, but it’s not really important. I think you’re both doing great. Sending lots of good wishes.
@Knitandpurl neither of us want to move but, given my recent bout of ill health I know that I will not be able to provide all the help she will need and, as we live in a semi detached house with few adaptations available physical limitations require it or we will end up in a home of some sort Far earlier than needed. I really wish there was an alternative but even our children see no safe alternative. Havng said that the waiting list will be long and it may be many months before we get an offer. Thank you for your comment and good wishes, Agzy
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Although I agree that a move might confuse Pauline, I don't see you have any choice given so unsuitable your current place is. I hope somewhere does turn up in the not too distant future, and that it is still near places familiar to Pauline.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Although I agree that a move might confuse Pauline, I don't see you have any choice given so unsuitable your current place is. I hope somewhere does turn up in the not too distant future, and that it is still near places familiar to Pauline.
Thank you, I keep trying to see positives even where I have doubts and just ‘do what is best.’
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
C and I live in Sheltered accommodation with carers on-site. It was a separate application from just applying for normal sheltered housing and at present there are a lot of empty flats. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long, Agzy.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,775
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
On Sunday, even though it was cold and wet I took Pauline to the block of sheltered flats we have applied for. Whist we lived in an identical block (now demolished) when we met, they were grim and rough and that is in her recal somewhere so I wanted her to see the differences. As we drove we saw that part of the car park is now a sort of walk through rose garden with seated area in the middle and we walked through it to the ‘new build’ reception area including security doors. As it happened someone was leaving so we walked into where pre Covid was a communal area of comfortable chairs but now empty, but all tastefully decorated with pictures on the walls and polished wooden floor to lifts. We took a lift to the third floor and there the floors were carpeted and the walls adorned with paintings and we walked up and down peering into vestibule areas in front of each front door. Where many electric scooter were parked and on charge. On our way out and true to form Pauline found the DIY laundrette which was immaculate having both washing machines and tumble driers and then it was back to the car and home. Up to now all positive and she has mentioned our visit to each family visitor as “the flats we are moving too.” So fingers crossed.
 

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