I posted on Tuesday for advice and thank you so much to all who answered.
Things have escalated since then and I am at the end of my tether.
My mum's GP referred my mum to the complex intervention team yesterday after another phone call from me about the not so positive social worker experience we had and how desperate we are now re caring for mum at home.
Then this morning because my daughter phoned me at breaking point I ended up doing a 2 hour drive to my mum's house as my daughter clearly can no longer cope being my mum's carer. I phoned the Complex Intervention Team for urgent help but 2 mental health nurses came instead. They assessed mum and spoke to my daughter and I and said they'd go back to the office to arrange for mum to get an urgent mental health assessment and then admit her to a psychiatric ward.
However a few hours later they phoned me and said their manager said this couldn't be done as it wasn't fair on my mum but instead they could offer 2 weeks respite in a care home but we'd have to get mum there. Prior to that I was also asked whether anyone else could step in to care for her at home, to which I said no.
we somehow managed to get mum in the car and into the lobby of the care home. Myself and my husband had to pop back to mum's to get her Zimmer frame and when we got back to the care home the 2 mental health nurses who were still there and the care home manager said mum was refusing to stay and that they'd taken advice and as I have power of attorney it was my job to remove mum and take her home or they'd call the police on me!
To cut a long story short I ended up crying hysterically and felt like I was having a breakdown. I got taken into the managers office at the home and told again that as her health and welfare attorney it's my job to look after her welfare and take her home and they'll look into putting more care at home in place. I told them that mum won't accept care at home as she kicks off at one visit a day let alone more. I told them again we are at breaking point. I also said I didn't want to be her attorney anymore as I didn't realise that meant I had to provide care too. I said I'd remove my daughter and grandchild from my mum's house if they send her home and mum will be left alone and she's a risk. To which I got told I'd get done for neglect then. I know it's a desperate thing to do and say but we really can't cope.
After a while they said my only option was to take mum to A and E and then leave her there and then remove my daughter and granddaughter from the house so A and E can't discharge her back home.
We tried to get an ambulance but couldn't so in the end they got my husband to drive mum to A and E and I went in the mental health nurses car as I was too upset to even look at my mum.
The mental health nurses said a mental health assessment can't be done unless mum is in the hospital. Anyway again to cut a long story short as it currently stands right now, the mental health nurses brought me back to mum's house, they've gone home and my husband is sat outside A and E still with my mum in his car as I type this. He's been there hours as She's refusing to get out and no one at the hospital will help until she goes inside.
Myself and my daughter are petrified mum will end up back at home tonight and we really can't cope. The emergency duty team won't help. No one will help. The mental health nurses left it that they'll do another urgent referral tomorrow to the Complex Intervention Team but it won't get allocated until Monday!
I still want to remove my daughter and grandchild from the house and take them to stay with me but now I feel we can't even do that as im being threatened because me and my daughter are Mum's attorneys. If my husband can't get mum into A and E and he has to bring her back here we honestly can't cope and I can't stay here as I live 2 hours away, plus I can't cope with mum anymore, but I can't leave my daughter here as she's already broken from all this.
Can anyone offer advice please?
And is that true if we are health and welfare attorneys that we have to stay and provide care if it's damaging our own mental health?
Things have escalated since then and I am at the end of my tether.
My mum's GP referred my mum to the complex intervention team yesterday after another phone call from me about the not so positive social worker experience we had and how desperate we are now re caring for mum at home.
Then this morning because my daughter phoned me at breaking point I ended up doing a 2 hour drive to my mum's house as my daughter clearly can no longer cope being my mum's carer. I phoned the Complex Intervention Team for urgent help but 2 mental health nurses came instead. They assessed mum and spoke to my daughter and I and said they'd go back to the office to arrange for mum to get an urgent mental health assessment and then admit her to a psychiatric ward.
However a few hours later they phoned me and said their manager said this couldn't be done as it wasn't fair on my mum but instead they could offer 2 weeks respite in a care home but we'd have to get mum there. Prior to that I was also asked whether anyone else could step in to care for her at home, to which I said no.
we somehow managed to get mum in the car and into the lobby of the care home. Myself and my husband had to pop back to mum's to get her Zimmer frame and when we got back to the care home the 2 mental health nurses who were still there and the care home manager said mum was refusing to stay and that they'd taken advice and as I have power of attorney it was my job to remove mum and take her home or they'd call the police on me!
To cut a long story short I ended up crying hysterically and felt like I was having a breakdown. I got taken into the managers office at the home and told again that as her health and welfare attorney it's my job to look after her welfare and take her home and they'll look into putting more care at home in place. I told them that mum won't accept care at home as she kicks off at one visit a day let alone more. I told them again we are at breaking point. I also said I didn't want to be her attorney anymore as I didn't realise that meant I had to provide care too. I said I'd remove my daughter and grandchild from my mum's house if they send her home and mum will be left alone and she's a risk. To which I got told I'd get done for neglect then. I know it's a desperate thing to do and say but we really can't cope.
After a while they said my only option was to take mum to A and E and then leave her there and then remove my daughter and granddaughter from the house so A and E can't discharge her back home.
We tried to get an ambulance but couldn't so in the end they got my husband to drive mum to A and E and I went in the mental health nurses car as I was too upset to even look at my mum.
The mental health nurses said a mental health assessment can't be done unless mum is in the hospital. Anyway again to cut a long story short as it currently stands right now, the mental health nurses brought me back to mum's house, they've gone home and my husband is sat outside A and E still with my mum in his car as I type this. He's been there hours as She's refusing to get out and no one at the hospital will help until she goes inside.
Myself and my daughter are petrified mum will end up back at home tonight and we really can't cope. The emergency duty team won't help. No one will help. The mental health nurses left it that they'll do another urgent referral tomorrow to the Complex Intervention Team but it won't get allocated until Monday!
I still want to remove my daughter and grandchild from the house and take them to stay with me but now I feel we can't even do that as im being threatened because me and my daughter are Mum's attorneys. If my husband can't get mum into A and E and he has to bring her back here we honestly can't cope and I can't stay here as I live 2 hours away, plus I can't cope with mum anymore, but I can't leave my daughter here as she's already broken from all this.
Can anyone offer advice please?
And is that true if we are health and welfare attorneys that we have to stay and provide care if it's damaging our own mental health?