Bizarre behaviour

[Emilypen]

My husband often exhibits rather bizarre behaviour and I'm not sure quite how to handle it. For example, he has just decided to board up a window of his shed, by using the round wooden top of an old garden table. It's Supported by the upturned legs of that table. He now intends to paint it! He asked me what I thought and I couldn't bring myself to point out how odd it was. Instead, I just said that I was pleased that I could still see in the top of the window. I have no idea why he has chosen to do this. I did ask him why he wanted the window blocked up, but he just said it was to use the wood up! He also nails planks of wood into our side gate. I worry about his safety whilst doing these things,but I don't want to deprive him of something which he's enjoying. It's very frustrating for me because we've just finished refurbishing our bungalow and garden!

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Emilypen

I once read a case study that indicated that behaviours like this can relate to an event earlier in life that caused some trauma and required actions such as those being enacted. The end result of the case study was to let the behaviour continue by giving the person something to work with - in this case it may be bits of wood - if the root cause of the issue couldn't be discovered.

If you think some form of anxiety may be at work the GP may be able to help.

There is a Society Factsheet that deals with various types of behaviour and you may get some help from that. If you would like to have a read just click the 2nd line of the following link

Changes in behaviour (525)

• PDF printable version

 

[fromnz123]

Hi @Emilypen , my husband was doing very similar things last year.
An old bookcase I was getting rid of was in the garden waiting to go to the tip, the next thing I knew was that my husband had nailed the back panels of the bookcase to the roof of the shed, he then proceeded to nail the shelves of the bookcase to the shed . The worst of it was that the shed is at the front of the house.
I did have to take matters into my own hands and get rid of it all as we were starting to look like “steptoe and son”, it didn’t go down too well at the time but he got over it!!

 

[Emilypen]

Hello @Emilypen

I once read a case study that indicated that behaviours like this can relate to an event earlier in life that caused some trauma and required actions such as those being enacted. The end result of the case study was to let the behaviour continue by giving the person something to work with - in this case it may be bits of wood - if the root cause of the issue couldn't be discovered.

If you think some form of anxiety may be at work the GP may be able to help.

There is a Society Factsheet that deals with various types of behaviour and you may get some help from that. If you would like to have a read just click the 2nd line of the following link

Changes in behaviour (525)

• PDF printable version

Thankyou Karaoke Pete.

Hello @Emilypen

I once read a case study that indicated that behaviours like this can relate to an event earlier in life that caused some trauma and required actions such as those being enacted. The end result of the case study was to let the behaviour continue by giving the person something to work with - in this case it may be bits of wood - if the root cause of the issue couldn't be discovered.

If you think some form of anxiety may be at work the GP may be able to help.

There is a Society Factsheet that deals with various types of behaviour and you may get some help from that. If you would like to have a read just click the 2nd line of the following link

Changes in behaviour (525)

• PDF printable version

Thankyou Karaokepete. I have downloaded the file and will read it. Appreciate the advice.

 

[Emilypen]

Hi @Emilypen , my husband was doing very similar things last year.
An old bookcase I was getting rid of was in the garden waiting to go to the tip, the next thing I knew was that my husband had nailed the back panels of the bookcase to the roof of the shed, he then proceeded to nail the shelves of the bookcase to the shed . The worst of it was that the shed is at the front of the house.
I did have to take matters into my own hands and get rid of it all as we were starting to look like “steptoe and son”, it didn’t go down too well at the time but he got over it!!

Glad you were able to resolve the problem. I think I might have to do much the same.

 

[Dianej]

Hi @Emilypen, your post struck a chord.
My husband, who has Alzheimers, has always enjoyed DIY and was very good at it. Now he tries to mend things that are sometimes not broken and just makes a bodge of it. Mainly with superglue and black adhesive tape, which just looks terrible. He took the window switch in the car door to pieces because he said it didn't work properly (it did), and then couldn't remember how to put it together again, so he stuck black tape and superglue all over the inside of the car door. I have a quote from the garage for £150 to put it right. I have to bide my time to get the repair done because he will say it doesn't need doing because he has already mended it. We had a beautiful house and garden but his "projects" are starting to change that. For example, he has painted patches on the bathroom wall with the wrong shade of paint and can't seem to see it doesn't match. This week he went to mow the lawn and put cleaning fluid, which was in its own branded container, in the mower, because he thought it was petrol. I have had to buy a cordless mower to replace it, which seemed like there was less chance of something going wrong! Sometimes I try to talk him out of these things but he is very determined and there will either be a massive argument or he will just go back and do whatever it was he wanted to do when my back is turned. He really thinks he is doing something useful and I hate to upset him over this, but I wish I knew how to stop it. As he gets worse, I am feeling more and more exhausted and I just don't have the energy (or the bank balance) to keep dealing with all this.

 

[Emilypen]

Hi @Emilypen, your post struck a chord.
My husband, who has Alzheimers, has always enjoyed DIY and was very good at it. Now he tries to mend things that are sometimes not broken and just makes a bodge of it. Mainly with superglue and black adhesive tape, which just looks terrible. He took the window switch in the car door to pieces because he said it didn't work properly (it did), and then couldn't remember how to put it together again, so he stuck black tape and superglue all over the inside of the car door. I have a quote from the garage for £150 to put it right. I have to bide my time to get the repair done because he will say it doesn't need doing because he has already mended it. We had a beautiful house and garden but his "projects" are starting to change that. For example, he has painted patches on the bathroom wall with the wrong shade of paint and can't seem to see it doesn't match. This week he went to mow the lawn and put cleaning fluid, which was in its own branded container, in the mower, because he thought it was petrol. I have had to buy a cordless mower to replace it, which seemed like there was less chance of something going wrong! Sometimes I try to talk him out of these things but he is very determined and there will either be a massive argument or he will just go back and do whatever it was he wanted to do when my back is turned. He really thinks he is doing something useful and I hate to upset him over this, but I wish I knew how to stop it. As he gets worse, I am feeling more and more exhausted and I just don't have the energy (or the bank balance) to keep dealing with all this.

Hi Dianej. It's such a difficult situation, isn't it? I don't want to deprive my husband of an activity he enjoys, but at the same time, like you, he is costing us money. He breaks everything. If he can't open something (because he can't remember how to open it), he just uses brute force. He's broken our garden shredder, by trying to shred bits of old wooden shelves! I'm so worried he might hurt himself, but I don't want to watch him all the time, for his sake. I have tried to remove all electrical appliances from his shed, but he insists on keeping some. He spent some time "weeding" yesterday, and dug up several of our lovely plants. It's all very frustrating, but I suppose it could be worse. I wish I knew what the answer was. Our husbands didn't ask to be like this. It's heartbreaking, isn't it?