im not sure quite what i have unleashed when i introduced my husband to mens sheds. hes already supervising what the other men are doing. he was so happy when he came in and its not going to take him long for him to be winding them up and driving them mad. he is a total wind-up merchant and he loves a bit of banter. give him a week and he will be running it soon from a chair with a cup of tea in his hand. the freedom and the free time was luxury and something i could get use to. hes off for a blood test tomorrow that he can get to on his own.
advice please
- Thread starter jennifer1967
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- vascular dementia
thanks @MaNaAk, i know its happened 3 times today and im telling him no or moving away. hes starting to get a bit tetchy so i will be going to bed and leaving him to it.
morning @MaNaAk, hes got a blood test at the GPs today that he can get to on his own on the bus so i reckon about an hour if im lucky. i didnt sleep very well as thoughts keep going around in my head. i think he thinks because he is my husband, then im fair game but that part of our life has gone years ago. and it hurts as well. i have to be careful how i move to make sure that im not provoking him.
i wish! hes come back in a foul mood. they forgot to tell him or me that its a fasting one so hes going tomorrow. phoned my son again which ive said not to as he does enough and my husband can get there on the bus. my son can then drop him off thursday. he decided whats for tea yesterday and now done it again. i have a chest freezer full of food . hes made me cry. turned the music off. im going to my room and he can do what he likes.
I`ve lost count of being at this stage. It will pass. I can`t say when but it will.
Dear @jennifer1967.
Please cheer and hope for some respite tomorrow.
Hugs
MaNaAk
PS: I feel angry for you.
Please cheer and hope for some respite tomorrow.
Hugs
MaNaAk
PS: I feel angry for you.
i wont get respite tomorrow. ive just come down and hes doing it again. the OPMH are going to take him off the amitriptyline without discussing it with me because it makes his memory bad. they want him to have sertraline and maybe memantine. his memory is going to get worse so why? consultant phoning me back. his memory is not going to get better.
hes got me in tears again and i dont know what to do. it feels like im fighting him and the medics. what about me
thanks @Grannie G hes made me cry again but so has the woman from OPMH phoned doctor and they cant alter anything before they have spoken to me and his gp. i just at the end of it all. i have got the fight in me to deal with it all. never took any notice of safeguardingI`ve lost count of being at this stage. It will pass. I can`t say when but it will.
Dear @jennifer1967,
You have the patience of a saint! I had no safe-guarding issue but as a carer I seemed to have to make sure that everybody else did their job properly which is what you're doing.
Hugs
MaNaAk
I'm sorry to read about these most recent developments @jennifer1967 and I wish you strength.
That "what about me" comment reminded me of my situation a couple of years back, and then again last November, when I forcefully reminded our Social Worker, GP and Memory Clinic that if they ignored my wellbeing they could safely assume they would have to take on 24/7 care of my wife because I wouldn't be around. I got some attention! Moral of the story - don't be afraid to assert yourself.
If you don't assert yourself you will be ignored by all and sundry. If you do assert yourself you may get help and you will certainly feel better within yourself.
That "what about me" comment reminded me of my situation a couple of years back, and then again last November, when I forcefully reminded our Social Worker, GP and Memory Clinic that if they ignored my wellbeing they could safely assume they would have to take on 24/7 care of my wife because I wouldn't be around. I got some attention! Moral of the story - don't be afraid to assert yourself.
If you don't assert yourself you will be ignored by all and sundry. If you do assert yourself you may get help and you will certainly feel better within yourself.
i fell asleep in the end upstairs. i didnt know what to do with myself. the conclusion of the conversation was that the MH person that came to us had not taken anything in that i said. the consultant talked to me like a human after i demonstrated my knowledge of dementias. shes not taking any tablets away from him and adding one to higher his mood. she thought his low mood was the cause of his temper where his temper has been there all our married life. the low mood is related to his COPD and being short of breath. he didnt understand when she phoned him. she is supposed to phone me but that got lost as was my poa which i told her i had. i obviously wasnt talking her language. he has BPSD which means that if he had a temper before, then its going to get worse.
thanks for your support
thanks for your support
I started reading from Monday and I was so pleased for you that his trip to the Men shed went well and he enjoyed it and you got the well deserved break. I am sorry to hear that it has not been good since and you have ended up in tears again. Coping with your husband is hard enough without having to educate the professionals at the same time. I think maybe the sleep upstairs will have at least give you brain a bit of a break
I don't know if this helps but someone I know whose husband had mental health problems with anger issues and alcoholism developed dementia and was put on mirtazapine which I think seemed to help or it might just have been his dementia progressing when he went on to a less difficult stage. I think the anti-depressant idea might help - it may be underneath he is depressed which expresses itself in temper and haranguing you.
I hope they can think of something that might make things better and calmer for you.
I hope they can think of something that might make things better and calmer for you.
