Hi my Dad has Alzhiemers and has recently had a mild stroke as well which has changed everything my mum is his main carer and i go into help
- Thread starter Linny64
- Start date
hello @Linny64
a warm welcome to DTP
I hope you are able to get help from the continence service
I do wonder whether your dad is no longer sure of the process of using the toilet and cleaning up afterwards ... maybe the stroke has affected the use of his limbs ... if so, it may be worth finding ways for your mum to be with him and help out .... I appreciate that this can feel as though it takes away dignity and independence; personally, I see nothing dignified in getting into a mess over toiletting when some instruction and support can prevent the mess
with my dad, I took to noticing when he went to the bathroom and just happened to be around so I could 'barge in', profusely aplogise and offer to help or take over by helping 'undress' or passing toilet roll or running warm water to wash hands .... I acted as though there was nothing unusual in doing whatever I did, and made sure any cleaning materials I might need were already to reach .... and I did any necessary cleaning of the bathroom after I'd got dad out of there, so he didn't feel he was causing a problem .... fortunately dad was accepting of help, and we had a biscuit and coffee immediately after so he had something positive to focus on
it may be worth looking into getting handrails, a raised seat, even a brightly coloured toilet seat (as white in a white environment gives no signal as to where the toilet is) ... and leaving the lid up so that isn't a hindrance
a warm welcome to DTP
I hope you are able to get help from the continence service
I do wonder whether your dad is no longer sure of the process of using the toilet and cleaning up afterwards ... maybe the stroke has affected the use of his limbs ... if so, it may be worth finding ways for your mum to be with him and help out .... I appreciate that this can feel as though it takes away dignity and independence; personally, I see nothing dignified in getting into a mess over toiletting when some instruction and support can prevent the mess
with my dad, I took to noticing when he went to the bathroom and just happened to be around so I could 'barge in', profusely aplogise and offer to help or take over by helping 'undress' or passing toilet roll or running warm water to wash hands .... I acted as though there was nothing unusual in doing whatever I did, and made sure any cleaning materials I might need were already to reach .... and I did any necessary cleaning of the bathroom after I'd got dad out of there, so he didn't feel he was causing a problem .... fortunately dad was accepting of help, and we had a biscuit and coffee immediately after so he had something positive to focus on
it may be worth looking into getting handrails, a raised seat, even a brightly coloured toilet seat (as white in a white environment gives no signal as to where the toilet is) ... and leaving the lid up so that isn't a hindrance
Thank you for ur replys
Mum constantly goes up with him and has to clear up all the time we leave toilet seat up he is very private and gets a bit agitated when we try to help him so makes the situation worse
Incontinence team are involved but the next step would be a sheath and I don't think he would wear it or let us put it on
The stroke has not effected movement but has communication also brought the Alzhiemers into the next stages up till a few weeks ago he was doing this all himself
We will carry on and persevere
Trouble is my mum is extremely house proud which doesn't help
Hi @Linny64 I second talking to the GP about continence. My Dad doesn't have dementia but he has struggled over the past few years with more & more toilet visits in the night, his GP prescribed him a pill he takes twice a day that reduces the feeling of urgency so he doesn't have to get up so often. The pill he is on comes with various risks of side effects but on balance it's worth it for Dad. HTH.
