After 10 weeks of caring for mum full time I’ve finally got a place in a beautiful care home for her. I know it’s only been 10 weeks and I’m sorry to all of you amazing people who’ve been doing this for years. I have bad anxiety and depression and had a mini stroke last year. I suffer terribly with diverticulitis and in the time she’s been with me she broke her arm, I had a bad flare of diverticulitis and then got a chest infection. I am glad that the home is so lovely but I feel broken hearted too. She’s had a tough life, losing my two brothers when they were 33 and my dad at 70 all within the space of 5 years. This bloody disease is vile. She’s in her happy world and me and the rest of her family are the ones suffering. The guilt and sense of loss is already so strong. I feel when I take her on Wednesday that I’m losing her. I’ve bought so much stuff to take in and the home have said they’ll make her room lovely for her. I’m going to put my big girl face on on the day and do my crying when she’s gone in but I’m frightened. I know she’ll get the best care but I suppose feeling this way is normal. She’s five into her diagnosis and the change in her over the last year has been dramatic. Xx