Mum has been in a care home for 17 months, settled well and enjoyed the social aspect immensely.
8 weeks ago her tummy became very distended and hard due to constipation. The doctor prescribed senna and Laxido to no effect. The district nurse was concerned so it was decided that she should go to A&E for tests which ended up meaning that she was admitted for five days of painful and frightening tests and procedures like enemas because they couldn’t remove the blockage in A&E.
She went in on a Friday, nothing much seemed to happen over the weekend, and we collected her and took her back to the care home on the the Tuesday evening after I had pleaded and begged them to let her go back to specialist care. They had finally decided it was a fecal blockage which could only be dealt with by oral laxatives which could be administered at the home. Why that took five days to determine I don’t know. When we picked her up we could see that she was a completely changed person. She took to her room, stopped eating and drinking and wouldn’t trust anyone. She had just retreated into herself.
Five weeks later here we are at EOL. She is just skin and bones, muscles are all atrophied so she can’t even swallow and is in and out of sleep all of the time. The care home let us visit her in her room and thankfully there is no pressure to leave.
I watched a video they sent us of Mum from early March in which she was singing and dancing and bouncing a ball and can’t believe how this has happened so quickly.
Alas I felt that the stay in hospital had broken her spirit. Two of the carers said yesterday that they felt so guilty for sending her to A&E and that this is the cause of the sudden downturn. I don’t know if any of this is attributable to the stay in hospital in which it was clear from the many phone calls I had with the hospital during that period, that they were treating the physical issue with no real underlying understanding of the dementia aspect. Maybe it would have happened this quickly anyway.
All I can say is that I am devastated at where we find ourselves. She hasn’t had any water for 72 hours so it isn’t sustainable. Having read through this section of the forum I shall continue to talk to her and hold her hand but I am so full of sadness that it is difficult to do without sobbing which isn’t going to help anyone.
Apologies for long and rambling post. I just needed to download.
8 weeks ago her tummy became very distended and hard due to constipation. The doctor prescribed senna and Laxido to no effect. The district nurse was concerned so it was decided that she should go to A&E for tests which ended up meaning that she was admitted for five days of painful and frightening tests and procedures like enemas because they couldn’t remove the blockage in A&E.
She went in on a Friday, nothing much seemed to happen over the weekend, and we collected her and took her back to the care home on the the Tuesday evening after I had pleaded and begged them to let her go back to specialist care. They had finally decided it was a fecal blockage which could only be dealt with by oral laxatives which could be administered at the home. Why that took five days to determine I don’t know. When we picked her up we could see that she was a completely changed person. She took to her room, stopped eating and drinking and wouldn’t trust anyone. She had just retreated into herself.
Five weeks later here we are at EOL. She is just skin and bones, muscles are all atrophied so she can’t even swallow and is in and out of sleep all of the time. The care home let us visit her in her room and thankfully there is no pressure to leave.
I watched a video they sent us of Mum from early March in which she was singing and dancing and bouncing a ball and can’t believe how this has happened so quickly.
Alas I felt that the stay in hospital had broken her spirit. Two of the carers said yesterday that they felt so guilty for sending her to A&E and that this is the cause of the sudden downturn. I don’t know if any of this is attributable to the stay in hospital in which it was clear from the many phone calls I had with the hospital during that period, that they were treating the physical issue with no real underlying understanding of the dementia aspect. Maybe it would have happened this quickly anyway.
All I can say is that I am devastated at where we find ourselves. She hasn’t had any water for 72 hours so it isn’t sustainable. Having read through this section of the forum I shall continue to talk to her and hold her hand but I am so full of sadness that it is difficult to do without sobbing which isn’t going to help anyone.
Apologies for long and rambling post. I just needed to download.
Last edited: