well hes erupted at me again and the adult social care lady was suppose to be phoning me and hasnt. hes dictating what im eating. hes blaming me for everything. made me cry again. ive been ill for 2 weeks but in that time, ive made sure ive done everything hes needed, kept the house clean, clean clothes and food in. theres nothing i can do. ive tried the doctors, adult social services. hes agreed that someone could take him out which is a start. other than that theres nothing they can do. his gp is suppose to phone me but when. i think they are looking at a womens aid support worker. it just takes so long. another covid test this morning just to check. i want to sleep. just having another rant as i feel invisible.
advice please
- Thread starter jennifer1967
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- vascular dementia
Dear @jennifer1967,
I know it must be difficult but please keep on at that GP and give them the impression that you're struggling.
Hugs
MaNaAk
PS: Can anyone make anymore suggestions?
I know it must be difficult but please keep on at that GP and give them the impression that you're struggling.
Hugs
MaNaAk
PS: Can anyone make anymore suggestions?
@jennifer1967 so sorry you are not getting the support you need and deserve . It’s truly disgraceful that no one in ‘authority’ is helping you and therefore potentially putting you at risk.
Do call 999 if it happens again
Do call 999 if it happens again
thankyou @Melles Belles i just got him to agree to go out with someone as adult services suggested and she was supposed to phone today and didnt. theres no point in a sitter as i cant go out any where.
thanks @MaNaAk, if i think im not safe, i will. i might disappear upstairs once hes had his meds. ive got a lock on my door, take phone and book and leave him to it. ive got my phone if i need to phone
Thank you @MaNaAk hes been calmer but he is telling me we are having a take away. i feel ill with no appetite and no im not. there is going to be a flash point about food maybe but im playing it cool. he said he will talk to gp monday and they are going to get the full story because i will be here with him to make sure. he knows that i give my all and cant give any more.
I can just about visualise what you are going through @jennifer1967 because as dad's Alzheimers progressed I couldn't argue with him. My trouble was when he decided that he was full after only a few mouthfuls. This was very worrying as he was diabetic he would also say 'this is disgusting' which is very upsetting.
MaNaAk
hes doing me soup so reach a compromise. he had to go and get some bread. hes having indian so flashpoint averted. i just want not to be invisible and allowed a choice
I have just read this a bought him taking amtripalien as my husband was on them befor he got diagnosed with vascala he had them for head akes and when he was diagnosed was told on same day 5 years ago that he had to stop them and try some others pills i would inquire with gp
he had amitriptyline for pains and restless legs then. to stop anxiety with shortness of breath with COPD. they upped it to 40mg when he wasnt settling. when he was diagnosed, nothing was said about meds only there wasnt any. weve had no contact with memory clinic other than the memory test and diagnosis on the phone. thats it discharged. never had consultant at all. ive told him and he has agreed to phone the doctor tomorrow and be honest with them. i will be here to make sure he tells them everything. he has said i can speak to doctor as well. ive told him hes not hurting me the way he is.i have done as much as i can for him with the way he is. he has to talk to the doctor
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thank you @MaNaAk hes phoning the doctor tomorrow. i cant go through it again. i told him to look at me and the mess i was, tears streaming down my face, not wanting to eat, he needed to do something. or theres going to have to be concessions in what he needs to do rather than want
i have phoned the doctors and she has phoned me back about the verbal abuse, controlling and being totally nasty. because he has vascular dementia there a few tablets that can be given that will make any difference to the aggression. she is going to refer him to older person mental health to see what they suggest. she did say about diazepam which neither she or i are happy about. the mirtzapine[sorry if its spelt wrong] could be at night but he sleeps very well and little benefit. asked about amitriptyline and she said he was fine on it and it was an anti-depressant so not worth increasing again. she thinks the frontal lobe is involved because of the changes in personality. knows about the safeguarding and agencies involved with that. said i could ring anytime and have an emergency plan in case its necessary to get to safety. i have told him with a sense of humour and we will have to manage it.
Hello @jennifer1967
I just wanted to mention that doctors do sometimes split Mirtazapine into two doses, a smaller morning dose and a larger evening dose. This was prescribed a while ago for my mum, who was very agitated and aggressive, particularly in the afternoons, and it made a big difference. It may be helpful.
I just wanted to mention that doctors do sometimes split Mirtazapine into two doses, a smaller morning dose and a larger evening dose. This was prescribed a while ago for my mum, who was very agitated and aggressive, particularly in the afternoons, and it made a big difference. It may be helpful.
she did mention that tablet but i think she would rather get the experts in. she is new and i think she was talking of dementia in care homes while suggesting it. i think she thinks hes not quite at that point yet. she didnt really want to go down the sedative route as yet but i expect we will get there.
he does have amitriptyline at night which helps him sleep and i think because of that, shes wary of adding in anything else
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