Can’t believe how much my husband deteriorated

[JB1110fk]

My husband was in a Care Home but they were finding it difficult at times to care for him. He had to go back into hospital where I couldn’t even see him at a window, he was there for 3 months. Last week he was transferred to a Community hospital, which I know is a good hospital as he was there before and my Mum was also in this Community hospital. A few years ago. When I saw him at the window of the Community Hospital for the first time I just couldn’t believe how much he had deteriorated - I was heartbroken and can’t talk about him without crying.

I know the original hospital he was in took him off Memantine tablets. I just hope he wasn’t taken off these tablets just to suit the care home needs. I know Alzheimer sufferers come downhill after being taken off this tablet, or could it be the Alzheimer’s disease taking a great big dip. I am heartbroken about him.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @JB1110fk and welcome to the forum.

It does seem that there comes a time when medics feel that a person is no longer getting benefit from Memantine and they consider withdrawing it. I know that my wife's Consultant has thought of doing this in the last year or so. Beyond that, Memantine just slows the progression of the dementia, rather than stop it.

I'm sorry to read of your husbands progression and I wish you both strength. Please keep posting as you will get support and understanding from fellow forum members.

 

[Duggies-girl]

So sorry @JB1110fk but from reading other posts on here it seems that people often decline when moved about especially during the lockdown. My own dear dad declined greatly when he had a 3 week hospital stay 2 years ago. He was fairly robust when he went in but came out a shadow of his former self. I don't know anything about Memantine as dad was not on that but he declined just the same.

It's not your fault although that probably doesn't help much. I could at least visit dad everyday and I think window visits are inhuman and I hope that you are allowed proper visits very soon.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @JB1110fk

Sad though it is, your husband has been kept in hospital and then the community hospital for a long period of time. The hospitals won`t have been keeping him there unless it was necessary, there is always a shortage of beds so it stands to reason they have been trying to get to grips with whatever is wrong.

My husband wasn`t on any Alzheimer`s medication but he was diabetic. There came a time when his diabetic medication was withdrawn because it wasn`t having any benefit.

I`m so sorry. It`s a tough time for you.

 

[DennyD]

It is very hard. My husband was also taken off Memantine recently - although I only found out after the event, which I felt was wrong not to have informed me of their intention to do so. But I do understand the reason that it was no longer effective as his Alzheimer's had progressed beyond that Memantine could be considered slowing progress. I don't know why this is, but have heard experiences from others who say that their loved one looks to have deteriorated when they first see them after admission, I felt the same. It was almost as if he had been holding on until he no longer could and let it all go. I recognise your heartache. Only this morning I felt so sad not to have been there for my husband to support and comfort him during his transition into care because of the Covid restrictions. My thoughts are with you.

 

[JB1110fk]

Thank you everyone for your kindness. It’s hard for everyone I know especially at this time with the lockdown still going on. I was told today he is “ putting himself down on the floor and crawling”. Just wondering if it’s because of his mobility which isn't good and he maybe feels safer there and determined to go where he wants?

 

[JB1110fk]

It is very hard. My husband was also taken off Memantine recently - although I only found out after the event, which I felt was wrong not to have informed me of their intention to do so. But I do understand the reason that it was no longer effective as his Alzheimer's had progressed beyond that Memantine could be considered slowing progress. I don't know why this is, but have heard experiences from others who say that their loved one looks to have deteriorated when they first see them after admission, I felt the same. It was almost as if he had been holding on until he no longer could and let it all go. I recognise your heartache. Only this morning I felt so sad not to have been there for my husband to support and comfort him during his transition into care because of the Covid restrictions. My thoughts are with you.

Hello DennyD - I too wasn’t told Alex was taken off mementine medication until after the event. I was really quite annoyed after all he is my husband and I do have POA for medical Issues, but feel I have been completely disregarded. I wonder how these consultants would feel if they were left out of any decisions with regards to their wife or husbands’ wellbeing.

 

[JB1110fk]

Hello @JB1110fk

Sad though it is, your husband has been kept in hospital and then the community hospital for a long period of time. The hospitals won`t have been keeping him there unless it was necessary, there is always a shortage of beds so it stands to reason they have been trying to get to grips with whatever is wrong.

My husband wasn`t on any Alzheimer`s medication but he was diabetic. There came a time when his diabetic medication was withdrawn because it wasn`t having any benefit.

I`m so sorry. It`s a tough time for you.

Thank you Sylvia x

 

[DennyD]

Hello DennyD - I too wasn’t told Alex was taken off mementine medication until after the event. I was really quite annoyed after all he is my husband and I do have POA for medical Issues, but feel I have been completely disregarded. I wonder how these consultants would feel if they were left out of any decisions with regards to their wife or husbands’ wellbeing.

I agree. Like you I also felt annoyed and disregarded both in terms of having a POA and in being his wife/next of kin. During the assessment period they reported to me about his physical health but not on his Alzheimer's. I wanted to know what to expect from having stopped his memantine. There are all sorts of questions popping up. I get what logic will tells me, but still, an honest conversation would have been welcome. I felt like calling out "he's my husband, I'm his wife, I've not handed over any rights", "I'm not giving him up for adoption!".

 

[DennyD]

was told today he is “ putting himself down on the floor and crawling”.

It must have been upsetting for you to hear this. Take care.