hi @Orchid orchid
accept the home care visits and do as was suggested, stay well out of the way when the carers come ... that way the carers will gradually see exactly what the situation is and will keep records ... so they will be independent witnesses to any behaviours and Social Services will have evidence for whether care at home or residential care properly meets your mother's needs
if you keep a diary of how each day and night goes, that will add to the information for Social Services
and keeping out of the way should give you time for yourself
accept the home care visits and do as was suggested, stay well out of the way when the carers come ... that way the carers will gradually see exactly what the situation is and will keep records ... so they will be independent witnesses to any behaviours and Social Services will have evidence for whether care at home or residential care properly meets your mother's needs
if you keep a diary of how each day and night goes, that will add to the information for Social Services
and keeping out of the way should give you time for yourself