Sugar in her coffee

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
All in all sounds a positive visit ? I’m so glad for you . The Lpa fiascos just continue don’t they ?! Luckily I have had no issues so far and all been easy but then I haven’t had many people to deal with using them , mainly banks and all been straightforward . Glad it is sorted now but sorry you had to send them, when in reality they already had it but didn’t check:rolleyes: cherry scones sound lovely , hope you enjoyed them .
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
So glad it was a good visit, and that your mum was wearing something she liked. My mother does the leaping from subject to subject which leaves me totally confused as to what we're talking about, so good you could sort of follow her.
I've never had success with scones.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I have ‘permission’ from OH to make scones again @Woo2 so I will take that as a compliment.
I find it easier when I see Mum to make the right replies, I guess because I can see her expressions as well. I have done some complete blunders on the phone though. It is reassuring (if that is the right word) to know that your Mum jumps around as much as well @Sarasa.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I have received an email from home reminding me that all visits are for 30 minutes only.
I know my visits have been longer in the past at their discretion so not sure why this has been sent.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,684
0
I have received an email from home reminding me that all visits are for 30 minutes only.
I know my visits have been longer in the past at their discretion so not sure why this has been sent.

The email has most likely been sent out to every relative, not just you, as that's what my mum's care home does. There were some incidents where a small number of relatives where not observing social distancing or infection control measures during visits (removing their masks) and some were being abusive to staff because they wanted to stay longer than their allocated visiting time. An email/letter was then sent to everyone advising that such behaviour would not be tolerated and may result in visits being stopped for those relatives who did not adhere to the infection control measures. I wouldn't read too much into the email or take it personally.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
5,064
0
I have received an email from home reminding me that all visits are for 30 minutes only.
I know my visits have been longer in the past at their discretion so not sure why this has been sent.
Perhaps they are just sending it out to everyone to show they are following the rules but still unofficially show discretion.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Thanks @Woo2, @Louise7 and @Susan11 for your replies. It was just me it was sent to but all a bit of a misunderstanding. I had a chat with the activities coordinator who sent me the email based on a conversation the new receptionist had had with her. As I visit Mum on a less busy weekday generally they try and let me have a little longer than usual if possible as Mum is not participating or engaging in anything in the CH. As you say @Susan11 a little discretion. What she said though is that the new ‘temp’ manager is enforcing a strict 30 minute gap between visits and hence why I had not seen the next visitor and therefore prepare Mum for me leaving. I told her I don’t mind how long the visit is but I need 5 mins to let Mum know that I would have to go shortly. This keeps Mum calmer and they don’t have to deal with Mum becoming ‘stroppy’ afterwards. She is in total agreement and hopefully working together we can do what will be good for Mum. So glad we had a chat rather than an email chain.
Totally understand your Mum’s care home sending out a letter to all @Louise7. It is awful if relatives are abusive to staff as the majority seem so genuinely caring. I would however take up with Management every time if I had an issue with Mum’s care.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Def agree that human contact is much between than email , glad you got it sorted out and feel better and can move on.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,258
0
High Peak
So one of the good Carers rang me tonight about 6.30pm asking me if I would speak to Mum as she was determined that she was leaving.
Mum started talking at 100mph and I found it hard to keep up. How much did it cost to stay where she was and then she said she was working, she’s been up the road but the sheep were on the crossing and the oven was falling down and so on hardly taking a breath. This evening though she knew who I was because she told me my brother had rang her today but asked me what his name was. She told me her Dad had visited her but was sad that her Mum hadn’t and did I know why not. I just said bad weather had blocked the roads and I am sure she would be visiting soon. It was like she had to get all the words out of her head as quickly as possible.
When I could get to say something I did suggest to her that as it has been such a busy day it may be a good idea to have a sit down and a cup of tea. No mention of leaving though.
Saw the programme on telly tonight about care homes and cried.
You are right when you said (on another thread) that your mum was exactly like mine! The 100mph stream of consciousness including the job, the sheep up the road, the surprising visitors and all the other stuff thrown in - that was my mum exactly. Separated at birth perhaps... ?

This stage is so challenging. But you're doing a great job! It's a pity the CH staff don't deal with things better rather than phoning you to calm your mum down. You might want to put your phone on ansaphone...
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Glad you got things sorted regarding the visiting @Bikerbeth. Fingers crossed the new temporary manager either turns into the permanent one, or they get someone in post soon. It's been a while.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Thanks @Jaded'n'faded - like everyone I do my best based on our relationship prior to Alzheimer’s barging its way in to our lives. As I am not good at chattering in someways the 100mph talking does has the benefit of me not having to find things to talk about.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Glad you got things sorted regarding the visiting @Bikerbeth. Fingers crossed the new temporary manager either turns into the permanent one, or they get someone in post soon. It's been a while.
The care home group built 3 homes in this county quite close together. Doing a bit of research I think he was brought in to manager one of the others and is now covering Mum’s as well. From what I hear they are still looking for a General Manager for Mum’s and I guess he is perhaps looking to be overall manager of all 3.
We will be having a relatives zoom meeting on the 9th Feb and he will be there and also the temporary clinical lead who will be covering for the current one going on maternity leave. You are right it would just be good to have some good stability in terms of the leadership there for the staff, residents and relatives.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Hope the zoom meeting goes well, @Bikerbeth There was one for mum's home yesterday, but I left it after a bit as all the other relatives wanted to talk about was the speed of the wi-fi, which isn't a topic relevant to me or mum
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Was not sure what to make of that @Sarasa - whether a discussion on wi-fi speed means that everything else is running smoothly in the CH. I hope so.
How is the house buy/sell going? I understand that everything is taking much longer to progress at the moment
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
I find the zoom meeting a bit annoying @bikebeth as it's the same people who want to get their gripes across every time. The manager and activities co-ordinator just want to talk about how great every thing is despite all the challenges of covid. None of that really tells me how mum is actually doing. This time they asked us to pop questions in the chat box. Several of us asked about the poor quality speakers in the visiting pod, but that wasn't really addressed. I'm going to have to brave another pod visit soon, and hope my husband doesn't mind coming along as my ears!
House moving is coming along slowly. We finally had someone round to do a survey on this place and we're having a dodgy floor checked at the place we want to buy. We've also agreed to buy a load of furniture, which is great as we're upsizing and the place would look a bit bare if we didn't.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,134
0
Southampton
the manager should actually conduct the meeting that everyone gets a say and chair the meeting and make sure the questions are answered. wouldnt it be good if there was a rep for relatives who can speak about common problems and points of view to focus on relatives or visitors. the problem is the manager have an interest in the home so have to promote it.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
That does sound a bit like our previous relatives meeting @Sarasa. There also seems to be ‘contrasting view points’ between relatives with residents with dementia and others. Pre covid relatives would mention issues and have a moan when you saw them in the home but would remain incredibly quiet in a residents meeting. The way of the world I guess. Will be interesting to see if anything is different with the new manager.
It must be very frustrating regarding the quality of the speakers in the visiting pod and you would think that would be a priority and they should at a minimum said they would look into seeing what they could do.
glad to hear the house moving is progressing albeit slowly. Sounds like a win win situation with the furniture.
I guess a ‘rep for relatives’ @jennifer1967 has a number of issues with organising as in terms of sharing contact details of relatives (GDPR) unfortunately. You are right though it does need a strong ‘chair’ as such to keep people on track and not go waffling on and ensuring everyone has a chance to say. Previously the manager at Mum’s care home asked for questions in advance which helped.