HI,
I haven't looked into this site for some time. Although I found it indispensable in the early days of our LBD journey and learn loads of useful information. I am in a different place now and this forum may again help.
My LO is now in a Care Home with Dementia Nursing Care due to medication. He was moved there after a long spell in a MH hospital. The Care Home was chosen during lockdown with viewing only from outside, reading CQC reports and recommendations by a lovely MH hospital Discharge Planning Person. I have not seen my LO since October. I carry the guilt of not being his carer, not giving him the one to one care he deserves. I carry the guilt of not bringing him back home to care for him. I cry at times for his company and his presence as if he has died. I then tell myself I have no control and am gentler to myself, but then I feel a wimp after I read about others who seemingly manage to be stronger and assertive and a better advocate than what I am. I cannot have him home because of his, untypical for him, yet unpredictable LBD caused aggressiveness.
I think it would be better if covid restrictions did not bar me from visiting him. I read the extract by Meg Wilkes and would love to do what she did when her LO was in a Care Home.
I would love to know what I can do to feel like I am helping him or know that he is not too anxious, upset, misunderstood, etc or what I can ask the staff when I contact to ask how he is. I have tried to get a zoom meeting up just to see him and his surroundings. This is still in the pipeline. He is unable to understand technology or phones and has little and mumbled speech so little communication. I don't want to put stress on the staff so ring alternative days rather than every day but as I get the same comments from them each time, it leads me to think 'what's the point?'
I would love to hear advice and would love to speak to someone who is in the same boat or a better boat?
Thank you
I haven't looked into this site for some time. Although I found it indispensable in the early days of our LBD journey and learn loads of useful information. I am in a different place now and this forum may again help.
My LO is now in a Care Home with Dementia Nursing Care due to medication. He was moved there after a long spell in a MH hospital. The Care Home was chosen during lockdown with viewing only from outside, reading CQC reports and recommendations by a lovely MH hospital Discharge Planning Person. I have not seen my LO since October. I carry the guilt of not being his carer, not giving him the one to one care he deserves. I carry the guilt of not bringing him back home to care for him. I cry at times for his company and his presence as if he has died. I then tell myself I have no control and am gentler to myself, but then I feel a wimp after I read about others who seemingly manage to be stronger and assertive and a better advocate than what I am. I cannot have him home because of his, untypical for him, yet unpredictable LBD caused aggressiveness.
I think it would be better if covid restrictions did not bar me from visiting him. I read the extract by Meg Wilkes and would love to do what she did when her LO was in a Care Home.
I would love to know what I can do to feel like I am helping him or know that he is not too anxious, upset, misunderstood, etc or what I can ask the staff when I contact to ask how he is. I have tried to get a zoom meeting up just to see him and his surroundings. This is still in the pipeline. He is unable to understand technology or phones and has little and mumbled speech so little communication. I don't want to put stress on the staff so ring alternative days rather than every day but as I get the same comments from them each time, it leads me to think 'what's the point?'
I would love to hear advice and would love to speak to someone who is in the same boat or a better boat?
Thank you