I don't know how to cope with the not eating and sleeping all day

[Mal7]

My partner was diagnosed with vascular dementia in October 2020 after having a memory test. His sons and I knew something wasn't right in 2019 as he'd ask me to order clothes and tools online. When they'd arrive he'd out them in boxes and tape up the box. He had a mini stroke in Dec 2019. Lately he sleeps all day and gets up after midnight. He also eats just one small meal a day now. We don't know the stage he's at as no one will tell us. Obviously his short term memory is worse and he puts things away and doesn't know where he's put them. I don't know how to cope with the not eating and sleeping all day. Does anyone else experience this? He also has a bad heart and had a triple bypass in 2002. I wonder if this is making him feel so tired all the time? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[jennifer1967]

my husband was diagnosed in march 2020 with vascular dementia although he had had it a year before that after a mini stroke following a clot in the heart in jan 2019. he seems to sleep a lot of the time. he will come down in the morning and fall asleep. i remind him of breakfast then he falls asleep again until lunch time. he wakes up for meals. he sleeps all night as well. he also has copd which i think wears him out a bit especially in damp weather. is it worth contacted the gp to see if it is his heart. mine cant hold a conversation very long at all and concentration seems to be a big problem. hes amuse by what i consider the stupidest programs. i dont know if that helps

 

[darthdodge]

My partner was diagnosed with vascular dementia in October 2020 after having a memory test. His sons and I knew something wasn't right in 2019 as he'd ask me to order clothes and tools online. When they'd arrive he'd out them in boxes and tape up the box. He had a mini stroke in Dec 2019. Lately he sleeps all day and gets up after midnight. He also eats just one small meal a day now. We don't know the stage he's at as no one will tell us. Obviously his short term memory is worse and he puts things away and doesn't know where he's put them. I don't know how to cope with the not eating and sleeping all day. Does anyone else experience this? He also has a bad heart and had a triple bypass in 2002. I wonder if this is making him feel so tired all the time? Any advice would be appreciated.

sounds like my dad and he was diagnosed as moderate, so more then likely that for your partner but I'm not a doctor

 

[Mal7]

sounds like my dad and he was diagnosed as moderate, so more then likely that for your partner but I'm not a doctor

Thank you Darthdodge. Yes I've since been told he is probably moderate. It's like living with 2 people isn't it?

 

[Mal7]

my husband was diagnosed in march 2020 with vascular dementia although he had had it a year before that after a mini stroke following a clot in the heart in jan 2019. he seems to sleep a lot of the time. he will come down in the morning and fall asleep. i remind him of breakfast then he falls asleep again until lunch time. he wakes up for meals. he sleeps all night as well. he also has copd which i think wears him out a bit especially in damp weather. is it worth contacted the gp to see if it is his heart. mine cant hold a conversation very long at all and concentration seems to be a big problem. hes amuse by what i consider the stupidest programs. i dont know if that helps

My other half used to be exactly the same and has COPD too. Now though he seems to be awake for most of the day, smokes constantly and has become a TV addict.. Pitbulls and Parolees. Today he gave me a filthy look and went to the bedroom. This was at 4 pm. He's still there. He won't come out so we're prisoners together as I can't leave him on his own for longer than half an hour. Even then I'm rushing about in the shop to get back home again. He has another memory clinic app next week as they want to rule out Parkinsons. He doesn't have tremors nor do his hands shake ever, so I don't think he has. This dementia is so cruel isn't it. I'm relieved to know about this forum. It's good to offload and get advice or support. Thank you everyone.

 

[Mal7]

sounds like my dad and he was diagnosed as moderate, so more then likely that for your partner but I'm not a doctor

Thank you Darthdodge. Yes I've since been told he is probably moderate. It's like living with 2 people isn't it?

Hi All

I have a farther with the early stages of dementia. Vascular dementia was diagnosed after a stroke. From that day onward his partner and myself are learning as we go on, this forum has been a good source of knowledge.

He has developed depression as the days have passed and seems to be struggling with pulling himself out of it. I understand this is partly as he feels he’s loosing control.

With the depression he’s then refusing some of the products available to help him cope with the issues that come with dementia.

The GP has prescribed anti depression meds. These don’t seem to be helping. The recent memory-accessing nurse has suggested we go back and ask for a change in anti depressants. Is it normal that people in the early stages of dementia to need medication for depression? If so did they help?

Any other way you were able to help them through depression?

Carl 2000 when my other half was first diagnosed he stayed in bed day and night and wouldn't eat. He was already on amiltriptyline at night for pain relief. (He has back and hip pain after a bad hip replacement in 202. Last year his gp took him off that and gave him a different antidepressant. It worked after a few weeks. The depression seems to be part of dementia, especially in the beginning. I think the sufferer is aware there is something wrong with them at that time. I used to try to coax him to eat or get up. On the rare occasion he did get up he'd be so tired looking and had no appetite. I hope your dad finds anti depressants help him feel less depressed. I used to have a radio on quietly in the kitchen and just pop my head round the door asking if he was alright. I think at the beginning they feel very scared of the dementia and of what is to come? Don't forget to look after yourself too.

 

[Mal7]

my husband was diagnosed in march 2020 with vascular dementia although he had had it a year before that after a mini stroke following a clot in the heart in jan 2019. he seems to sleep a lot of the time. he will come down in the morning and fall asleep. i remind him of breakfast then he falls asleep again until lunch time. he wakes up for meals. he sleeps all night as well. he also has copd which i think wears him out a bit especially in damp weather. is it worth contacted the gp to see if it is his heart. mine cant hold a conversation very long at all and concentration seems to be a big problem. hes amuse by what i consider the stupidest programs. i dont know if that helps

 

[Mal7]

Thank you Jennifer. The OH has been in bed since 5pm today. He hasn't had dinner or his meds. He is hiding his meds or flushing some down the toilet. I've seen them in the toilet bowl after he's been I there. I really don't know what to do. He has a gp appointment on the 27th but it's awkward talking to his gp about him when he's there. He can put on a 'normal' front....I've been told it's called showtime. I'll see what his gp says when we see him. There's not a lot of help out there but I need to see someone. Yesterday the OH went to bed at 8 but was up in the night. He always swears that he doesn't sleep but he does grab a few hours. He hasn't wandered, been aggressive or had the sundowning but I think he's moved on from the middle stage. I just don't know. It's hard for us isn't it.

 

[jennifer1967]

Thank you Jennifer. The OH has been in bed since 5pm today. He hasn't had dinner or his meds. He is hiding his meds or flushing some down the toilet. I've seen them in the toilet bowl after he's been I there. I really don't know what to do. He has a gp appointment on the 27th but it's awkward talking to his gp about him when he's there. He can put on a 'normal' front....I've been told it's called showtime. I'll see what his gp says when we see him. There's not a lot of help out there but I need to see someone. Yesterday the OH went to bed at 8 but was up in the night. He always swears that he doesn't sleep but he does grab a few hours. He hasn't wandered, been aggressive or had the sundowning but I think he's moved on from the middle stage. I just don't know. It's hard for us isn't it.

can you send an email or note to the doctor to share your points before the doctors appt then you dont have to talk in front of him. know all about showtiming or host mode that i call it. even the medics get fooled with how well he functions. have you family or friends to help or support you?

 

[Mal7]

can you send an email or note to the doctor to share your points before the doctors appt then you dont have to talk in front of him. know all about showtiming or host mode that i call it. even the medics get fooled with how well he functions. have you family or friends to help or support you?

I'm coping in my own Jennifer. I have to adult sons at home with us but I don't involve them in all this. He's just gone to bed and will probably stay there until the morning. So no meds or food again. I was wrapping presents and he complained about the noise. I don't remember the last time I hoovered the place and I have the tv on so low when he's in bed that I'm almost lip reading. 😳 I can't keep creeping around the house in silence. It's so stressful. Yes I'll put a note in the gp's door before his appointment on the 27th. I don't think his gp takes much notice of his mixed dementia...more about his physical health. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[jennifer1967]

I'm coping in my own Jennifer. I have to adult sons at home with us but I don't involve them in all this. He's just gone to bed and will probably stay there until the morning. So no meds or food again. I was wrapping presents and he complained about the noise. I don't remember the last time I hoovered the place and I have the tv on so low when he's in bed that I'm almost lip reading. 😳 I can't keep creeping around the house in silence. It's so stressful. Yes I'll put a note in the gp's door before his appointment on the 27th. I don't think his gp takes much notice of his mixed dementia...more about his physical health. I'll let you know how it goes.

you might find that he can hear the slightest thing because you are creeping about. i was told when i had the babies that noise is better for them sleeping other wise they will hear every movement. not sure whether it works the same on adults but why should you not have a life. dont your sons notice whats happening?