hello
@jojo99
a warm welcome to DTP
such a tricky situation for your sister's husband
sadly it can often be the case that the person wants to move because they think that will solve all their problems ... unfortunately the 'problem' is the dementia, which they aren't able to understand because their brain has been damaged, but which they take with them everywhere ... so they may look for other explanations and can alight eg on a house move or blaming someone (usually the person who cares for them most, as they are with them most)
actually moving isn't likely to make any difference to the underlying condition, and may cause more confusion as nothing will be familiar ... as it costs quite a bit to move, with all the fees involved, if your brother-in-law doesn't want to move then I'd suggest he goes along with the idea to some extent eg look online for areas and properties, maybe even visit an area for a break and view some properties, so that it looks to his wife that he is taking her seriously ... he may well find that actually she will find fault with any property they visit (my dad did this; there was always a reason why it wasn't for him) ... and he can make sure that although he books a viewing, it isn't for a week or so and may even be cancelled as the house sold in the meantime (helpful fibs, or 'love lies' can be so useful, worth coming up with several possible scenarios that mean a property is a no go) .... this will mean some work on his part, but not result in a move that will not produce the desired effect for his wife
if your b-i-l does want to move, maybe help him check out all the services which he may want to call on in the future eg local care agencies and care homes, easy access to transport and shops, GP surgery close .. and think carefully about the layout of the property eg manageable stairs, a large cloakroom (even shower room) downstairs (so a carer could help the person with personal care), maybe a similar layout to the home they now live in (so feels a little familiar)
now you've found us, do keep posting ... maybe start a thread of your own eg here
This forum is for people who are involved in the care of a person with dementia.
forum.alzheimers.org.uk