WHERE TO NEXT?

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?
 
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lushr

Registered User
Sep 25, 2020
192
0
wow, you are dealing with a lot.

my mum was never aggressive, but she was difficult, wanted her independence. i got her ready for respite but she refused to stay even though we’d explained it to her....

then three months later she was where your mum is at, no longer safe home alone. burning things. hiding how bad things are. i had to organise respite to permanent residence and she wasn’t really even able to understand it or hold in her head what it was. but i didn’t back down, i took her she stayed there, she is very unhappy there but she is safe.

three months later all she does is cry, she took a downward turn very fast in care. but she is safe, the staff are good. i have power of attorney, that is key. i can only make the best decision available, i cane give her a perfect life or make the dementia go away but i can give her safety and quality care.

it sounds like your mum really does need professional 24 hour care. you can’t be there all the time. others may say different, they may know the system better or be better home careers. but personally i could not deal with what you are going through, i. lucky mum is compliant mostly, and was happy to have health and money decisions made by me so i can pay her bills etc.

also a holiday in a hotel isn’t a bad idea for you, i’m going on one myself next week. you need rest and relaxation, no wonder you are sick! you deserve a bit of peace. maybe if your mum is left alone for a couple of days she will realise she’s having more difficulty than she realises. this is what eventually happened with mum. if you think it’s safe to leave her a couple of nights, maybe have friends check in on her?

anyway i hope you find a solution you sound very stressed and it’s completely understandable. you are in an impossible situation and it can’t go on forever.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hello @Orchid orchid
I must say that I agree with @lushr . She may be able to wash and dress herself, but the fires and aggression mean that this is a safeguarding issue - she is putting herself and others at risk of harm. Does Social Services know about the fires and aggression? If not, please contact them and use that phrase - "she is a vulnerable person who is putting herself and others at risk of harm"

Meanwhile you may want to disable the oven while you are away. If its an electric oven you can break the circuit at the fuse box and if its a gas oven you can get someone to install a valve on the gas supply so that it can be switched off when you are not there. You can also get fire alarms that connect to an outside agency who will be aware when it goes off and can call the Fire brigade if necessary - Age UK will know about this.

I hope the memory team find a drug combination that will reduce your mums aggression. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is trial end error before they find the right one. If your mums aggression means that you become worried for your safety please do not hesitate to call the Police. They have the authority to request an urgent assessment by the Community Psychiatric team who can arrange emergency respite/admission if required. Even if this is not necessary, they will send a report to Social Services which will add to the evidence that you need help
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0


wow, you are dealing with a lot.

my mum was never aggressive, but she was difficult, wanted her independence. i got her ready for respite but she refused to stay even though we’d explained it to her....

then three months later she was where your mum is at, no longer safe home alone. burning things. hiding how bad things are. i had to organise respite to permanent residence and she wasn’t really even able to understand it or hold in her head what it was. but i didn’t back down, i took her she stayed there, she is very unhappy there but she is safe.

three months later all she does is cry, she took a downward turn very fast in care. but she is safe, the staff are good. i have power of attorney, that is key. i can only make the best decision available, i cane give her a perfect life or make the dementia go away but i can give her safety and quality care.

it sounds like your mum really does need professional 24 hour care. you can’t be there all the time. others may say different, they may know the system better or be better home careers. but personally i could not deal with what you are going through, i. lucky mum is compliant mostly, and was happy to have health and money decisions made by me so i can pay her bills etc.

also a holiday in a hotel isn’t a bad idea for you, i’m going on one myself next week. you need rest and relaxation, no wonder you are sick! you deserve a bit of peace. maybe if your mum is left alone for a couple of days she will realise she’s having more difficulty than she realises. this is what eventually happened with mum. if you think it’s safe to leave her a couple of nights, maybe have friends check in on her?

anyway i hope you find a solution you sound very stressed and it’s completely understandable. you are in an impossible situation and it can’t go on forever.
Thank you ,Lushr,for your reply.I am very stressed at the moment.At present ,I just seem to be playing a waiting game,until she is assessed.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
Hello @Orchid orchid
I must say that I agree with @lushr . She may be able to wash and dress herself, but the fires and aggression mean that this is a safeguarding issue - she is putting herself and others at risk of harm. Does Social Services know about the fires and aggression? If not, please contact them and use that phrase - "she is a vulnerable person who is putting herself and others at risk of harm"

Meanwhile you may want to disable the oven while you are away. If its an electric oven you can break the circuit at the fuse box and if its a gas oven you can get someone to install a valve on the gas supply so that it can be switched off when you are not there. You can also get fire alarms that connect to an outside agency who will be aware when it goes off and can call the Fire brigade if necessary - Age UK will know about this.

I hope the memory team find a drug combination that will reduce your mums aggression. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is trial end error before they find the right one. If your mums aggression means that you become worried for your safety please do not hesitate to call the Police. They have the authority to request an urgent assessment by the Community Psychiatric team who can arrange emergency respite/admission if required. Even if this is not necessary, they will send a report to Social Services which will add to the evidence that you need help
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0


wow, you are dealing with a lot.

my mum was never aggressive, but she was difficult, wanted her independence. i got her ready for respite but she refused to stay even though we’d explained it to her....

then three months later she was where your mum is at, no longer safe home alone. burning things. hiding how bad things are. i had to organise respite to permanent residence and she wasn’t really even able to understand it or hold in her head what it was. but i didn’t back down, i took her she stayed there, she is very unhappy there but she is safe.

three months later all she does is cry, she took a downward turn very fast in care. but she is safe, the staff are good. i have power of attorney, that is key. i can only make the best decision available, i cane give her a perfect life or make the dementia go away but i can give her safety and quality care.

it sounds like your mum really does need professional 24 hour care. you can’t be there all the time. others may say different, they may know the system better or be better home careers. but personally i could not deal with what you are going through, i. lucky mum is compliant mostly, and was happy to have health and money decisions made by me so i can pay her bills etc.

also a holiday in a hotel isn’t a bad idea for you, i’m going on one myself next week. you need rest and relaxation, no wonder you are sick! you deserve a bit of peace. maybe if your mum is left alone for a couple of days she will realise she’s having more difficulty than she realises. this is what eventually happened with mum. if you think it’s safe to leave her a couple of nights, maybe have friends check in on her?

anyway i hope you find a solution you sound very stressed and it’s completely understandable. you are in an impossible situation and it can’t go on forever.
Thank you ,Lushr,for your reply.I am very stressed at the moment.At present ,I just seem to be playing a waiting game,until she is assessed.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
Thank you ,Canary,for your reply.Especially the info about what the police can do
At the moment waiting for Social Services to do an assessment on the 8th.
 

lushr

Registered User
Sep 25, 2020
192
0
it took me ages to realise who to hassle and how often until she got assessed but once mum was assessed things got a lot easier, they felt it was better to talk to just me about things and that made it easier too. good luck.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
2,025
0
67
London
I think perhaps you are right to consider seeing a solicitor. I don't know how practical it is for you to be able to isolate gas/electricity to the cooker when you're out but unless you have a foolproof way of preventing her from starting fires, that's tamper proof, then the fire issue is very serious. People sometimes don't realise how quickly fire can get out of control and that smoke kills people faster than flames. If the fire risk cannot be eliminated then she needs constant supervision. That could be from a carer who is present when you're out, or more likely a care home. It may have to be forced upon her. The local authority would have to be involved in an order for "denial of liberty" safeguarding but if you have POA for health as I assume you do, this will be easier as you will be able to agree on her behalf. You will need a care home that can cope with difficult cases. I am not sure how the physical move would be done, it might require her to be "sectioned" in order to permit her to be physically forced to leave home. A solicitor with expertise in this area could be very useful in making sure your actions are legally watertight and of course you should try to get social services on board. It is not going to be a nice experience but a person who starts fires is a great danger to herself and others, not to mention your house, so this cannot be left as it is.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hello @Orchid orchid
a warm welcome from me too
how worried you must be
I agree with canary, setting fires is dangerous for her, you and others

you mention an assessment on the 8th .... use the phrase canary suggested ... and I also suggest you say that the support worker considers your mother does not have capacity, ask why then your mother's refusal to move out of a life-threatening situation is being accepted ... tell them you belive this is a safeguarding issue and you want a best interest meeting called to discuss a move into residential care as you know the Local Authority have the duty of care to ensure your mother's care needs are met and Adult Services can make this decision for a vulnerable adult who no longer has the capacity to properly consider the issue .... make it clear that as her Attorney you believe a move to a care home is in the best interest of her health and welfare .... and that, due to your own ill health, you cannot provide hands on care

however, be prepared for Social Services to do all they can to keep her at home, that is usually their policy, and it may be this has to be proved to fail ... so take steps to deal with whatever your mother is doing to set the fires (may mean carers have to microwave ready meals for her) ... and keep records of any involvement by emergency services, who can make referrals too

I'm guessing that the LA contribute to your mother's care fees, so you need them to agree to funding a care home placement

I think it's trickier for you to get this move arranged as you live in the house too ... so point out any fire is endangering your life and even though you live there you cannot supervise another adult 24 hours a day (even a live-in paid carer has to have time off)
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
2,025
0
67
London
I don't know the details of the fire raising episodes but if there have been several incidents a useful ally in discussion with social services might be the fire prevention officer of your local fire brigade. A letter from him to social services is something they really could not ignore.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
Thank you,MartinWL for your kind advice It will help me a lot.
I think perhaps you are right to consider seeing a solicitor. I don't know how practical it is for you to be able to isolate gas/electricity to the cooker when you're out but unless you have a foolproof way of preventing her from starting fires, that's tamper proof, then the fire issue is very serious. People sometimes don't realise how quickly fire can get out of control and that smoke kills people faster than flames. If the fire risk cannot be eliminated then she needs constant supervision. That could be from a carer who is present when you're out, or more likely a care home. It may have to be forced upon her. The local authority would have to be involved in an order for "denial of liberty" safeguarding but if you have POA for health as I assume you do, this will be easier as you will be able to agree on her behalf. You will need a care home that can cope with difficult cases. I am not sure how the physical move would be done, it might require her to be "sectioned" in order to permit her to be physically forced to leave home. A solicitor with expertise in this area could be very useful in making sure your actions are legally watertight and of course you should try to get social services on board. It is not going to be a nice experience but a person who starts fires is a great danger to herself and others, not to mention your house, so this cannot be left as it is.

I think perhaps you are right to consider seeing a solicitor. I don't know how practical it is for you to be able to isolate gas/electricity to the cooker when you're out but unless you have a foolproof way of preventing her from starting fires, that's tamper proof, then the fire issue is very serious. People sometimes don't realise how quickly fire can get out of control and that smoke kills people faster than flames. If the fire risk cannot be eliminated then she needs constant supervision. That could be from a carer who is present when you're out, or more likely a care home. It may have to be forced upon her. The local authority would have to be involved in an order for "denial of liberty" safeguarding but if you have POA for health as I assume you do, this will be easier as you will be able to agree on her behalf. You will need a care home that can cope with difficult cases. I am not sure how the physical move would be done, it might require her to be "sectioned" in order to permit her to be physically forced to leave home. A solicitor with expertise in this area could be very useful in making sure your actions are legally watertight and of course you should try to get social services on board. It is not going to be a nice experience but a person who starts fires is a great danger to herself and others, not to mention your house, so this cannot be left as it is.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
Thank you ,so much for this.
I don't know the details of the fire raising episodes but if there have been several incidents a useful ally in discussion with social services might be the fire prevention officer of your local fire brigade. A letter from him to social services is something they really could not ignore.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
hello @Orchid orchid
a warm welcome from me too
how worried you must be
I agree with canary, setting fires is dangerous for her, you and others

you mention an assessment on the 8th .... use the phrase canary suggested ... and I also suggest you say that the support worker considers your mother does not have capacity, ask why then your mother's refusal to move out of a life-threatening situation is being accepted ... tell them you belive this is a safeguarding issue and you want a best interest meeting called to discuss a move into residential care as you know the Local Authority have the duty of care to ensure your mother's care needs are met and Adult Services can make this decision for a vulnerable adult who no longer has the capacity to properly consider the issue .... make it clear that as her Attorney you believe a move to a care home is in the best interest of her health and welfare .... and that, due to your own ill health, you cannot provide hands on care

however, be prepared for Social Services to do all they can to keep her at home, that is usually their policy, and it may be this has to be proved to fail ... so take steps to deal with whatever your mother is doing to set the fires (may mean carers have to microwave ready meals for her) ... and keep records of any involvement by emergency services, who can make referrals too

I'm guessing that the LA contribute to your mother's care fees, so you need them to agree to funding a care home placement

I think it's trickier for you to get this move arranged as you live in the house too ... so point out any fire is endangering your life and even though you live there you cannot supervise another adult 24 hours a day (even a live-in paid carer has to have time off)
Thank you ,Sheldrech,I will take your advice on board
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
1,045
0
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
..
My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.

My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?

My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
Sorry if this is not the rightreply.But in reply to one question,No the social services have not ,given me an assessment.They ate being
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
..
My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.

My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?

My mother 88 whom I live with and care for was diagnosed with dementia 7 months ago.Since then ,my life has gone downhill,due to all her memory problems but mainly her aggression ,which I can't cope with.Last night she hit my friend,completely unprovoked.I feel as though I'm being driven out of my own home.And will probably end up just staying in a hotel,before xmas,just to get away ,even though I own half the house.She also burns a lot of things on the cooker,and accidentally starts fires.Social services will do nothing because her problems are all mental ,not physical .she has no physical problems,can dress,walk about,and wash.Doctor does nothing .The Memory Clinic ,which diagnosed her,keeps changing her medication but this does no good either.The support worker admits shes lost capacity.She was offered a place in a day centre but wouldn't go.The paramedics were called out yesterday and tried to take her to hospital but she wouldn't go.She just stays in all the time is paranoid, and has become a recluse,refusing to go out or co operate with anyone.A carer attempted to get respite for me,but it was cancelled because she refused to go,even though it was only for a week.I am in bed ,Ill at the moment.O would like her to go in a rest home as she would be happier,but she is refusing to agree to this.It would seem that even though i am her power of attorney,nobody can take her away if she refuses to go.I've recently thought about consulting a solicitor?Is this my next step?
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
Sorry if this is not the rightreply.But in reply to one question,No the social services have not ,given me an assessment.They ate beNool
A gas shut off valve for a gas cooker was fitted by the gas supply company and there was no charge when it was fitted on mums cooker. We were given two keys which were hidden from mum in a combination box where her medication was kept.
Interestingly, when mum went into a care home and the shut off valve needed removing, the supply company told me just to use a gas engineer to remove it, they did not want it back.
Sorry if this is not on right place..N o.Social Services have not arranged an assessmentA person from the carerstrust rang but they would not tell him why.They are acting in a funny way.I seem to have hit a brick wall.?
..







Sorry if this is not the rightreply.But in reply to one question,No the social services have not ,given me an assessment.They ate being
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
89
0
..







Sorry if this is not the rightreply.But in reply to one question,No the social services have not ,given me an assessment.

Sorry if this is not on right place..N o.Social Services have not arranged an assessmentA person from the carerstrust rang but they would not tell him why.They are acting in a funny way.I seem to have hit a brick wall.?They cancelled one assessment and seem reluctant to help me?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
N o.Social Services have not arranged an assessmentA person from the carerstrust rang but they would not tell him why.They are acting in a funny way.I seem to have hit a brick wall.?
I am wondering whether SS have assessed your mum over the phone. They did this to my mum and (no surprise) she told them that she was doing all her own shopping, cooking, housework etc, and even though one look at her and her home would have told you otherwise, because it was over the phone mums statements were taken at face value. I wasnt told this was happening and only found out about it later.

Have you contacted SS yourself and told them about the fires, aggression etc? You mum will not have said anything about this as she will be unaware that it is happening.