At last, we have found what appears to be a really great care agency to come in 2 days a week to give me a break. The carer gets on really well with mum and she's happy to see her and no longer gets 'Carer Panic' when she knows I'm not coming, so I really want to keep the carer who comes to mum with us.
The problem is that there are a few things at mum's house that to an outside pair of eyes don't look good at all (and that's putting it mildly!) These are outside my control and involve other family members and what with spending 60-70 hours a week with mum and running my own house and trying to hold down a part-time job, I have to pick my battles.
However, I always feel on the back-foot with the carer. She is formal and polite with me, but no more. She gets on really well with everyone else but me and no matter how objective I try to be, I feel hurt and just a bit humiliated after every exchange we have. Each time I try to bring something up relating to mum's care, she bats it back and gets really defensive and will often come back with a "Well, I had to do X yesterday because ...."
I really can't seem to get along with her and I'm sure she doesn't like me, but she does such a great job with mum that I don't want to fall out with her. I just wish I knew how to handle the situation because if she honestly knew what I'd been through and how much I really do for the family, she might not be so cold and dismissive!
I want her to stay and keep doing a good job with mum, because that's really all that matters, but it's getting me down
The problem is that there are a few things at mum's house that to an outside pair of eyes don't look good at all (and that's putting it mildly!) These are outside my control and involve other family members and what with spending 60-70 hours a week with mum and running my own house and trying to hold down a part-time job, I have to pick my battles.
However, I always feel on the back-foot with the carer. She is formal and polite with me, but no more. She gets on really well with everyone else but me and no matter how objective I try to be, I feel hurt and just a bit humiliated after every exchange we have. Each time I try to bring something up relating to mum's care, she bats it back and gets really defensive and will often come back with a "Well, I had to do X yesterday because ...."
I really can't seem to get along with her and I'm sure she doesn't like me, but she does such a great job with mum that I don't want to fall out with her. I just wish I knew how to handle the situation because if she honestly knew what I'd been through and how much I really do for the family, she might not be so cold and dismissive!
I want her to stay and keep doing a good job with mum, because that's really all that matters, but it's getting me down