Lockdown and full time carers

[Looseleaf]

It is really upsetting at the thought of another month of lockdown as a full time carer. My OH asks every morning what are we doing today. As long as I can come up with a trip out in the car or a meet up with family or friends he is happy. If not gets agitated about being bored. I have bought easier jigsaws (he used to love them), audio books, play his favourite CDs and put on favourite TV but for very limited interest.
Can the government be persuaded that regulations include some support for us 24/7 carers so a family member or a friend can visit or take OH out for a walk?

 

[AbbyGee]

Can the government be persuaded that regulations include some support for us 24/7 carers so a family member or a friend can visit or take OH out for a walk?

I very much doubt that specific regs will be put in place. 'Support bubbles' can work for those with kids but my 'kid' ... who is a 74 YO ... who knows. I'm just going to buckle down, face the music and scream to the sky.

 

[Jenlem]

I don't have an answer but I just posted about the save thing - I am a family member wanting to support a carer in your position. It's such a huge omission - full time carers need to be able to bubble up.

 

[Fitzalan]

My take on it, rightly or wrongly (and according to the government's view it's probably wrongly), is that it says a support bubble is one adult and child who can bubble up with another family for support. Well, my mother is one adult and I am her child and we are just as in need of support as any adult with a younger child, if not more so. And I think the same should count for anyone in a caring role. It's not as if we all have wild parties and go to the pub every night, and our bubbles, being conscious of the risks to the over 60's, don't either. After all, if anything happened to me, it would be my sister who'd have to step in, and I can't see the government or police or anyone else stopping her, whether part of a support bubble or not. In fact, they and social services would be all too happy that they didn't have to. I doubt if the police would be unsympathetic, if anyone did happen to be so small-minded as to report it. But that's just my view.

 

[Snowdrops77]

It is really upsetting at the thought of another month of lockdown as a full time carer. My OH asks every morning what are we doing today. As long as I can come up with a trip out in the car or a meet up with family or friends he is happy. If not gets agitated about being bored. I have bought easier jigsaws (he used to love them), audio books, play his favourite CDs and put on favourite TV but for very limited interest.
Can the government be persuaded that regulations include some support for us 24/7 carers so a family member or a friend can visit or take OH out for a walk?

I totally agree. As a 24hr carer for my mum the last lock down was unbearable, I nearly threw in the towel and said I'm done. I'm afraid I broke the rules regularly by taking my mum out in the car for drives. Also walking her in the open air several times a day. If I didn't she was screaming for help, crying, banging my windows, packing, demanding to go home to mum and dad. This was pre Risperidone. Now it's winter !! she is on a trial to reduce the drug, and a lock down! I am absolutely dreading it. Thankfully I live in the countryside amongst many fields, believe me lockdown or not I will be letting her out !

 

[Lynmax]

I understand that it will be permitted to go out and exercise with one other person ie for two people from different households to go for a walk. So it would be possible for a friend or family member to take your OH out to give you a break.

 

[jennifer1967]

you are allowed to care or support a person and no doubt the volunteers will be in action again

 

[Sunseeker1977]

Well here we go again!! .... can it really get any worse!! I used to have 3 afternoons a week for my wife in day care .. no more!! I used to have morning carers come to wash and dress my wife ... no more!! I used to have 6 weeks respite a year.... no more!! .. Its all down to me the carer 24/7/365!!! ... This is impossible... I wonder if anyone who isn't in our position has any concept of what we are going through ... I have been doing this for about 10 years now and my wife is in later stages .... she can't feed, wash, dress, or toilet herself ... she struggles to walk! ... she isn't interested in tv and cant communicate!! ..... she has no concept of time and sleeps when she wants .. and is awake when she wants!! ... so no real sleep or quality time for me .. her carer!! I am not sure just how much longer I can do this... lockdown has had a massive impact on my mental health and ability to care well for my wife. I really wonder if anyone not in our position has given us a thought ... I wonder has anyone had a call from support services enquiring as to our well being!!! I know its self pity but I work longer hours than anyone in the health service... I have no-one to hand over to at the end of my shift!! ..this is desperate .. just where, when and how will it end? ...... there is no light at the end of my tunnel .. its just someone with a torch bringing me more work!!! ... I really wish the government could recognise our situation and mitigate accordingly.

 

[nae sporran]

So awful isn't it, @Sunseeker1977. Can I ask why you no longer have carers coming in to help your wife? The ones who come to help my partner are still around and it would be really hard without them.
Can I also suggest calling the dementia connect helpline https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line and having a look on https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-support for a care support centre. Hopefully someone at either point can help you find support.

 

[JohnGroban]

Well here we go again!! .... can it really get any worse!! I used to have 3 afternoons a week for my wife in day care .. no more!! I used to have morning carers come to wash and dress my wife ... no more!! I used to have 6 weeks respite a year.... no more!! .. Its all down to me the carer 24/7/365!!! ... This is impossible... I wonder if anyone who isn't in our position has any concept of what we are going through ... I have been doing this for about 10 years now and my wife is in later stages .... she can't feed, wash, dress, or toilet herself ... she struggles to walk! ... she isn't interested in tv and cant communicate!! ..... she has no concept of time and sleeps when she wants .. and is awake when she wants!! ... so no real sleep or quality time for me .. her carer!! I am not sure just how much longer I can do this... lockdown has had a massive impact on my mental health and ability to care well for my wife. I really wonder if anyone not in our position has given us a thought ... I wonder has anyone had a call from support services enquiring as to our well being!!! I know its self pity but I work longer hours than anyone in the health service... I have no-one to hand over to at the end of my shift!! ..this is desperate .. just where, when and how will it end? ...... there is no light at the end of my tunnel .. its just someone with a torch bringing me more work!!! ... I really wish the government could recognise our situation and mitigate accordingly.

Stay strong, pal!
I know it hurts like hell, but remember that this is all for her.

All the very best.

 

[Sunseeker1977]

So awful isn't it, @Sunseeker1977. Can I ask why you no longer have carers coming in to help your wife? The ones who come to help my partner are still around and it would be really hard without them.
Can I also suggest calling the dementia connect helpline https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line and having a look on https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-support for a care support centre. Hopefully someone at either point can help you find support.

Yes ... too many underlying health conditions to risk!

 

[MartinWL]

Card and assistance to vulnerable people is normally an exemption to the restrictions, as long as it is "reasonably necessary". Someone coming to provide care whilst a carer takes a break, goes shopping, goes for a run, or locks him/herself in a soundproof room for a scream, would be within the law.

Paid carers are allowed to do their jobs, work is permitted.

You don't need to have a support bubble to provide care.

 

[MartinWL]

What is cruel about these authoritarian restrictions is that social visiting is not allowed and for people with dementia at an earlier stage, a neighbour or friend popping in for coffee is very valuable to combat loneliness, and therapeutic in terms of mental health.

 

[Looseleaf]

What is cruel about these authoritarian restrictions is that social visiting is not allowed and for people with dementia at an earlier stage, a neighbour or friend popping in for coffee is very valuable to combat loneliness, and therapeutic in terms of mental health.

Yes it is so good to hear that I am not alone in thinking how important social contact is for people with dementia. Also not on my own struggling to understand and come to terms with the new lockdown rules. At least it now looks as if the regulations about one person can go out for a walk with one other from another household doesn't count children under school age and people with dependants. So, fingers crossed, my OH and I can join my daughter and her 3 toddlers on a local walk.

 

[jennifer1967]

Yes it is so good to hear that I am not alone in thinking how important social contact is for people with dementia. Also not on my own struggling to understand and come to terms with the new lockdown rules. At least it now looks as if the regulations about one person can go out for a walk with one other from another household doesn't count children under school age and people with dependants. So, fingers crossed, my OH and I can join my daughter and her 3 toddlers on a local walk.

isnt she part of your bubble

 

[Looseleaf]

We looked into it and the regulations say that if you live with a carer you can bubble with one other single person household.