Hello Harriet
Not to sure if my experience will really help others. However no one else has yet replied to this thread so if I kickoff then perhaps others will follow.
To be honest mum does not really understand Covid19. With her loss of memory that is not surprising. We now rely on internet shopping, Skype with my siblings, walks in the back alley to keep up leg strength, E consultations with the doctor mean we have mostly avoided visiting the GP surgery, drives in the car but not getting out of it are now our time out of the house a few times a week. We use to visit other towns mum knew from the past, lunches in cafes, sit on park benches and watch the world go by, chatting to the odd stranger sat on the bench with us. All gone now. A combination of Covid19 and mum’s increasing reluctance to engage with people in general and unknown places in particular.
Mum and face masks is a bit hit and miss. Fine at the GP surgery first time, not the second time. I just say if we do not wear them they will not let us in, few grumbles but mum sees everyone else in them and accepts the new normal without comprehending it. I had to explain why my supermarket job two nights a week had to go in March, now I just say I got made redundant like lots of other people. Mum does not understand fully but accepts such things can happen. Chalk up love lie number god only knows.
Mum’s illness I think at a deeper level is now becoming apparent to her. She understands there is something wrong but not knowing what it is. Increasingly mum is happy to stay at home and shut out the rest of the world. I think I would find this more challenging and limiting in the absence of Covid19. So many others shielding are doing the same, that aspect of caring has actually got easier for me to accept. It just goes with the territory of caring for an elderly PWD, who has underlying health issues.
My heart goes out to those trying to support a PWD who lives alone. I do not have to worry about mum wandering off, getting on a bus without a face mask, etc. How can you warn a PWD who forgets what is said within minutes? I would suggest the answer is you cant in any meaningful way. I would like to slightly broaden out this question to two areas which I believe are being overlooked during Covid19.
1) Anyone really struggling to care for a loved one thinking about a care home for them, even for respite care, now has an even harder decision to make. Not only the normal emotional heart ache but the added worry of will Covid19 get into the care home. I am not in that position but god that must be a tough call. Try and muddle on hoping to avoid carer burn out, or accept the increased risk of any time in a care home.
2) I have two siblings working in public facing jobs. They had not seen their mum beyond Skype since March. We recently arranged a socially distanced meeting in the back garden to celebrate mum’s birthday. They help me picking up prescriptions, grocery items I cannot get on the Internet, leaving them in the shed. They are not invisibles, but do not want to come near mum for fear of infecting her with Covid19. Not easy as precious time with mum is slipping away. Afterwards I received texts which told me how much seeing mum in the flesh had meant to them, even socially distanced. I care for mum day to day. It is hard trying to tell them how mum is doing as Dementia is so unpredictable, new issues gradually present and I deal with them. Personally I find it hard knowing what to tell them in my email updates, what I have taken on, what is important, what comes and goes, etc. There must be others having the same problem. It must be harder having siblings living further away. I can manage Skype to a degree, only at good times for mum, giving her prompts, helping guide and manage conversations.
Well I have rambled on enough. Now let others jump in with more pertinent and sensible points. I said let others...................