Hi All, I finally found the courage to dig into the Alzheimer's org website and join the forum and post something... i'll type fast before I lose my nerve or start crying...
in 2018 my Mum get confirmation that she most likely had Alzheimer's - this followed a first trip to the memory clinic in 2016. Her deterioration since 2018 has been fairly fast. She still recognizes the main family members, but can't respond to any conversation, has trouble eating, and is now starting to become frustrated and aggressive. She was the heart of her family, ran everything, nursed her own mother-in-law through Alzheimers. And now she's a shell of an old lady and we can't get through to her. She was powerhouse, always the first to help others. A Guider, bellringer, Church person, Choir singer, teacher, heart of the community....I miss her so much.
My dad is severely sight impaired, quite stubborn, and is very resistant to getting help or accepting that mum needs a lot of help.
He was never the caring type, in the nicest possible way, so doesn't understand that Mum needs his help.
I am one of 3 Siblings, we all have families and don't live close to my parents. We've managed to do the following - get POA for Dad (we were too late for Mum). They now have meals on wheels, plus a carer going in 4 times a day, plus another carer twice a week. We've also found Driving Miss Daisy, to take them to appointments and out on trips
The positives? they are still safe in their own home, we now have care set up for them, my siblings and I are close and are working well together to sort things out
on the other hand... it all seems overwhelming and however much we do, it doesn't seem enough. We're worried about my Dad's mental health and how he's coping. We all live far away from them, but we are not sure whether they will want to move from the Bristol area, which is where they've always lived. We don't know when or how to change the care situation. We need to start talking to my Dad about financials and long term care, but he doesn't want to hear it.
and on top of this i haven't really come to terms with the fact that my Mum has gone... I miss her. I feel so guilty - i live abroad with my family, so we didn't see as much of them as I wished we had, before her diagnosis. She never got a chance to really know my kids. And my Dad is so struggling with everything, that he shows no interest or care in any of us or our kids. Which is understandable. but the child in me just wants my parents back....
Thank you for listening, and now i'm crying But it's good to get it all out....
in 2018 my Mum get confirmation that she most likely had Alzheimer's - this followed a first trip to the memory clinic in 2016. Her deterioration since 2018 has been fairly fast. She still recognizes the main family members, but can't respond to any conversation, has trouble eating, and is now starting to become frustrated and aggressive. She was the heart of her family, ran everything, nursed her own mother-in-law through Alzheimers. And now she's a shell of an old lady and we can't get through to her. She was powerhouse, always the first to help others. A Guider, bellringer, Church person, Choir singer, teacher, heart of the community....I miss her so much.
My dad is severely sight impaired, quite stubborn, and is very resistant to getting help or accepting that mum needs a lot of help.
He was never the caring type, in the nicest possible way, so doesn't understand that Mum needs his help.
I am one of 3 Siblings, we all have families and don't live close to my parents. We've managed to do the following - get POA for Dad (we were too late for Mum). They now have meals on wheels, plus a carer going in 4 times a day, plus another carer twice a week. We've also found Driving Miss Daisy, to take them to appointments and out on trips
The positives? they are still safe in their own home, we now have care set up for them, my siblings and I are close and are working well together to sort things out
on the other hand... it all seems overwhelming and however much we do, it doesn't seem enough. We're worried about my Dad's mental health and how he's coping. We all live far away from them, but we are not sure whether they will want to move from the Bristol area, which is where they've always lived. We don't know when or how to change the care situation. We need to start talking to my Dad about financials and long term care, but he doesn't want to hear it.
and on top of this i haven't really come to terms with the fact that my Mum has gone... I miss her. I feel so guilty - i live abroad with my family, so we didn't see as much of them as I wished we had, before her diagnosis. She never got a chance to really know my kids. And my Dad is so struggling with everything, that he shows no interest or care in any of us or our kids. Which is understandable. but the child in me just wants my parents back....
Thank you for listening, and now i'm crying But it's good to get it all out....