Hi all,
I used to belong to this forum as I saw both my mother and father in law through this tough journey. The support I received was overwhelming and the advice second to none. Anyway, I'm back again!
My aunt (wife of my uncle so not blood relative) was widowed 4 years ago. My uncle was disabled and a larger than life jolly character. My aunt spent a large amount of time physically caring for him. She was always a quiet person not unsociable as such but kept herself to herself. They were always out and about on cruises and around at exhibitions with my uncle's hobby.
To cut a long story short, my parents who are in their 80's but really well and independent have always had an open door policy for my aunt welcoming her any time day or night. As avid U3A members they have tried to involve her in activities and have offered to take her to other groups and clubs. She will not do anything but moans about being lonely and having no friends. She doesn't really hold a conversation but wants my parents sitting with her. My dad is often on his boat so mum bears the brunt of it. This is taking a massive toll on my mum's mental and physical health now. She feels responsible and can't walk away. It's causing a rift with my dad who sees it more rationally - you can lead a horse to water etc.
My husband and I are convinced my aunt has early signs of dementia having followed the journey twice before. My parents won't accept this.
My aunt is:
- falling regularly (7 ambulance call outs this year and days in a&e for my parents)
- when she's with us she hums without appearing to be aware of it
- can't follow conversations but nods and agrees as if she does
- can no longer use her computer properly but it's not her fault apparently!
- I think she struggles for words occasionally
- has fallen out with a lot of people that have tried to help or have been friends in the past
- sleeps a lot
-is paranoid about people getting her money
However, most of the time she knows what day it is and where she's going. She can manage her shopping - not sure about bills etc - could be that my dad set up dd's when my uncle died.
She is very deaf which doesn't help. She hates the NHS hearing aid but won't spend the money to buy a digital one
My parents will not accept possible dementia for the behaviour my aunt is showing.
I was wondering whether these signs ring a bell with any of you?
Thanks for reading this far.
J
I used to belong to this forum as I saw both my mother and father in law through this tough journey. The support I received was overwhelming and the advice second to none. Anyway, I'm back again!
My aunt (wife of my uncle so not blood relative) was widowed 4 years ago. My uncle was disabled and a larger than life jolly character. My aunt spent a large amount of time physically caring for him. She was always a quiet person not unsociable as such but kept herself to herself. They were always out and about on cruises and around at exhibitions with my uncle's hobby.
To cut a long story short, my parents who are in their 80's but really well and independent have always had an open door policy for my aunt welcoming her any time day or night. As avid U3A members they have tried to involve her in activities and have offered to take her to other groups and clubs. She will not do anything but moans about being lonely and having no friends. She doesn't really hold a conversation but wants my parents sitting with her. My dad is often on his boat so mum bears the brunt of it. This is taking a massive toll on my mum's mental and physical health now. She feels responsible and can't walk away. It's causing a rift with my dad who sees it more rationally - you can lead a horse to water etc.
My husband and I are convinced my aunt has early signs of dementia having followed the journey twice before. My parents won't accept this.
My aunt is:
- falling regularly (7 ambulance call outs this year and days in a&e for my parents)
- when she's with us she hums without appearing to be aware of it
- can't follow conversations but nods and agrees as if she does
- can no longer use her computer properly but it's not her fault apparently!
- I think she struggles for words occasionally
- has fallen out with a lot of people that have tried to help or have been friends in the past
- sleeps a lot
-is paranoid about people getting her money
However, most of the time she knows what day it is and where she's going. She can manage her shopping - not sure about bills etc - could be that my dad set up dd's when my uncle died.
She is very deaf which doesn't help. She hates the NHS hearing aid but won't spend the money to buy a digital one
My parents will not accept possible dementia for the behaviour my aunt is showing.
I was wondering whether these signs ring a bell with any of you?
Thanks for reading this far.
J