?You may not be on your own @White Rose I may be sitting next to you! I promise I’ll be quiet.
I feel just the same. The last two years have been horrid, but it was going on in the background before that. His memory was bad, he was struggling with vocabulary, but i thought I’d be able to cope. I am trying my utmost to keep him at home, but last week we were up every night by 3.30 am, with him wanting to have his shower! one night it was 1.45am and he was getting dressed. I tried to explain the time, but he got very cross and it went downhill from there. At 2am I was ready to find a care home! But by the morning I became more rational and we just survive as we are. No day is good, but some are better than others!I really know what you mean @PalSal. I don’t think my husband is quite as far down the road as yours but a week or so ago when he was non-stop hallucinating I really thought that I wouldn’t be able to cope much longer. The hallucinations aren’t quite so bad now, and he’s been more passive. It’s still hard work but over the last week I’ve felt the same as you I.e. better to keep on coping as he knows me ( though not that I’m his wife), he knows the house (though doesn’t realise it’s his home of 35yrs. The problem is that it keeps changing and you never quite know what you’re going to be facing, or worse - it’s the same as the day before and you can’t cope with that either!
That is my dream for the future. Because I know the future is me, on my own. Our life was travelling. We even lived in Greece for 12 years. Last year I drove us to see our son in Portugal. For the first time on a European trip only I could drive but airports had become impossible. I'm glad we did that because this year, even without Covid, it would have been too difficult. My OH can't manage a scooter any more. His balance and coordination have deteriorated so I have to change it for a wheel chair. Vascular means that his memory is still fine which makes it even more heartbreaking for him and for me. The Cheshire countryside is beautiful but we now only see it through the window.I often dream of escape in a motor home! I’d love to get one. Perhaps one day we’ll all meet up!
Your goal is perfectionMy goal is to make it thru an entire day without having to apologize to Nick for some loss of patience, some cross or horrible exchange, some lack of love .
My ho has vascala for 4 year over past 2 year his mobility bad that as this year he was took in hospital told he had chest infecshion but told 2 days after going in thay was discharging him i asked if he been out of bed as when he left home he caudent stand up ,told 2 hours after he needed hospital bed and cares 4 timmes a day ,8 cares ,he still as not beenable to stand hosted out of bed to chair most days for 4 hours then back to bed ,i am 16 year unger then him 61 /77.That is my dream for the future. Because I know the future is me, on my own. Our life was travelling. We even lived in Greece for 12 years. Last year I drove us to see our son in Portugal. For the first time on a European trip only I could drive but airports had become impossible. I'm glad we did that because this year, even without Covid, it would have been too difficult. My OH can't manage a scooter any more. His balance and coordination have deteriorated so I have to change it for a wheel chair. Vascular means that his memory is still fine which makes it even more heartbreaking for him and for me. The Cheshire countryside is beautiful but we now only see it through the window.
I can only speak for myself...@margherita
Yes, one perfect day in all these years of care would be quite nice. I would like to look back and think yes I did it perfectly just one day. Saint Sally......just for one full day.
My husband's mobility has declined over the last few days. He can't stand up to use his rollator so I'm now pushing him to the loo and bed in a small wheelchair. He was diagnosed four years ago and I thought how well we were coping but this sudden decline makes me think he will soon be bedridden. His vision is also getting worse. I dread to think what the next few months are going to mean for him, and for me.My ho has vascala for 4 year over past 2 year his mobility bad that as this year he was took in hospital told he had chest infecshion but told 2 days after going in thay was discharging him i asked if he been out of bed as when he left home he caudent stand up ,told 2 hours after he needed hospital bed and cares 4 timmes a day ,8 cares ,he still as not beenable to stand hosted out of bed to chair most days for 4 hours then back to bed ,i am 16 year unger then him 61 /77.
I have never been away with out him but i keep thinking ,whate is life going to be for us all.not been on holiday for past 2 year ,he keeps telling cares we been on holiday this last month for a day i wish that was true.
Hope you get your dream travling ,with him
We can always dream but how long for ,
It’s hard husband just been told he will never stand again he asked a bought walking .he don’t understand .My husband's mobility has declined over the last few days. He can't stand up to use his rollator so I'm now pushing him to the loo and bed in a small wheelchair. He was diagnosed four years ago and I thought how well we were coping but this sudden decline makes me think he will soon be bedridden. His vision is also getting worse. I dread to think what the next few months are going to mean for him, and for me.
im so sorry need to treasure all the time you have together i hope you are getting help. its not fair but dementia is not fairIt’s hard husband just been told he will never stand again he asked a bought walking .he don’t understand .
He keeps saying we been out and he walked to shop .he cry’s a little as if he understands then goes on abought walking .
There having refunded returns and for rest of time he will be hosted out of bed to chair it’s not a life a dog wouldn’t have to suffer like this .
I love him but what next
It is hard my ho as vascala 4/and half year been a bad year as he was in hospital this year and came home needing hospital bed 8 cares a day 4 times a day .been told he can not walk or stand so in bed hosted to chair that’s life here .if I go out is site for more than 40 min he gets really mad .i glad you had a good time while out .i just no that as soon as I back it’s like a wars own where he as had a go at our daughter and she Can not Handel his hard words .people tell her to just leave him but she knows he will try and get out of bed and Hurt himself .Yes I had a 36 hour break thanks to my youngest son and one of the carers. I went overnight to the mountains and took two circular hikes of about 4 hours each. It was wonderful to not feel any responsibility or be wondering where NIck is in the house etc etc etc. Overseeing the the endless trips to the toilet.
I felt so good. But within two or three hours of being home I was back to my old bad ways. Impatient and irritable. It is clearly time to end this caring role when even a break does not fill the vessel enough to sustain the job at hand. I need a week....not a day.
But anyway that is how it is. Mornings are good, afternoons ok, evenings are fairly intolerable.