Hello, I read your post with interest as I recently moved in with my elderly mother who has dementia, among other health issues, and have experienced situations and thoughts I had not been able to prepare for prior to moving in. I very much accept that my situation is different from those whose partner is a dementia sufferer, however I would like to offer the following for your thoughts.
While we usually pledge to stick with the one we love through sickness and in health (whether we are married or not) we may not be prepared for what that will actually look like and how it will impact on us day after day.
As with anyone who has any type of lack of mental capacity, we should strive to always act in their best interests. Yet, we must not neglect our own health and wellbeing.
I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying "not accepting my loss of liberty". It sounds as though you have accepted (consciously?) that you must care for your other half 24/7 but that you haven't accepted the loss of liberty that goes with it. My question is: why do you feel that is your only option? I believe most of your needs could in fact be met by meeting (or making new) friends, attending thought-provoking and stimulating talks or learning online, and even finding an activity that will give you almost as much enjoyment and endorphins as a physical relationship. What do you think? The closeness and perhaps emotional support that you may crave is clearly trickier to tackle but it is situations like these that test us and help us look deeper into ourselves as human beings and reach out to friends, family and professionals when we recognise we need them more than ever.
Please speak to your GP or another professional to discuss your situation, if you haven't already, as help is out there but you have to make the first contact! Know that you're certainly in the right place to discuss your experiences and thoughts and should not feel that you have to accept going through such a tough situation alone. So glad you joined the forum and hope it really helps