Hello
My Mum (92 with vascular dementia) lives with my husband and myself. She fell and broke her hip approximately 6 weeks ago. This has been pinned and she is recovering remarkably well. After hospital she went to a rehab unit to assess her mobility. Upon her return home to us I was told not to allow her to move around unaided. They left me a rotunda and sensors and all manner of things that beep! All these things are well and good but do not address the problems we now face. I was told my mum would need a downstairs existence (we were in the process of having a stair lift fitted when she fell) and so we converted our living room into a bedroom leaving us without a room in which to relax in the evenings apart from our bedroom which is upstairs. I am waiting fora knee operation and I find it difficult to climb stairs quickly. To protect mum I have been staying downstairs in our dining room which has doors off to the kitchen and upstairs and front room where mum is. My husband is upstairs in our bedroom. Mum has stopped sleeping at night at all I cannot sleep or leave her alone for fear she will fall. This was given to me as a concern by social services and the physios. So for the last four nights I have sat up all night and literally watched over her as she sits on the side of her bed and talks to god. Any discussions with her about going back to bed result in my being told in no uncertain terms that she will do exactly as she pleases. I have explained until I am blue in the face but as we all know this rarely helps. She becomes aggressive and or upset and distressed. So I am trying to grab a couple of hours during the day (not always possible) and trying to work out the best course of action. Mum is adamant she will not go into care and this is not something I would be happy to do, but this situation is no sustainable. I was thinking of looking into night carers and wondered if anyone had any experience of this. Many thanks
My Mum (92 with vascular dementia) lives with my husband and myself. She fell and broke her hip approximately 6 weeks ago. This has been pinned and she is recovering remarkably well. After hospital she went to a rehab unit to assess her mobility. Upon her return home to us I was told not to allow her to move around unaided. They left me a rotunda and sensors and all manner of things that beep! All these things are well and good but do not address the problems we now face. I was told my mum would need a downstairs existence (we were in the process of having a stair lift fitted when she fell) and so we converted our living room into a bedroom leaving us without a room in which to relax in the evenings apart from our bedroom which is upstairs. I am waiting fora knee operation and I find it difficult to climb stairs quickly. To protect mum I have been staying downstairs in our dining room which has doors off to the kitchen and upstairs and front room where mum is. My husband is upstairs in our bedroom. Mum has stopped sleeping at night at all I cannot sleep or leave her alone for fear she will fall. This was given to me as a concern by social services and the physios. So for the last four nights I have sat up all night and literally watched over her as she sits on the side of her bed and talks to god. Any discussions with her about going back to bed result in my being told in no uncertain terms that she will do exactly as she pleases. I have explained until I am blue in the face but as we all know this rarely helps. She becomes aggressive and or upset and distressed. So I am trying to grab a couple of hours during the day (not always possible) and trying to work out the best course of action. Mum is adamant she will not go into care and this is not something I would be happy to do, but this situation is no sustainable. I was thinking of looking into night carers and wondered if anyone had any experience of this. Many thanks