Hello,
I don’t really know where to start. Nan and I have always been close more like my mum. I have such fond memories of my childhood with her.
fast forward 20 odd years.
My Dad got a house when I was 16 with my Nan to ensure she didn’t go into a care home. I’m now 33 two children toddler and ten year old and a partner.
My Nan has 3 sons and 5 grandkids. My Dad gambles and they were going to be evicted my Uncle said to me I will sort it out only if I move in! I couldn’t face my Nan being evicted with days notice it would of caused her a heart attack. So my partner who was also very close to he’s Nan who passed a while back and I sat down and I said I can’t say no she needs me. Gave up our shared ownership. What we pay for rent here my Uncle said will come off our mortgage agreement with Him once my Nans passed not until can we get it in our name.
many how 3 years later and my Nan has unspecified dementia and98 years old I also have a toddler and a teenager. My dad lives here and has small rent fee of£100 a week to pay me. He gambles and I’m owed a lot. The other sons barely visit and grandkids don’t at all.
my Nan is needed round the clock care meal tablets accidents such as setting herself poking herself. I work part time but can’t work more as my Nan and kids. Carers come for 30 mins a day to wash her.
I’m struggling with The size of this old house and how much it costs in gas and electric alonelet alone all the things that need fixing and redoing due to its age. We are basically paying for my dad and my Nan to live here free understand my Nan she’s old.
then I tell my uncle as he’s power of attorney that I am applying for careers allowance not sure if I’ll get anything etc.
find out he’s getting it and putting it into her account. He said well you don’t care for her. I’m exhausted from the caring and I’m exhausted for the cost of this house. I’m also grieving the loss of my Nan even though she’s still here but her mind is going. I think I’m actually mentally struggling to juggle it all.
and quite frankly why should I be juggling! Everyone says just let them do it as in her sons but they won’t it will be left to me regardless. ButI’m on the verge of just s throwing the towel in and renting as no savings since being here to live so could never get a Mortgage. All because I’m too kind and think of others I don’t regret looking after my Nan I regret moving in here should of kept my house and have her move to me. But too late now and I’m stuck stuck of guilt. As she doesn’t want a care home but my mental health needs a break. Lockdown hasn’t helped as I haven’t met friends with kids for lunch to have a little bit of escapism. Please tell me I’m not the only one stuck like this.
thank you
I don’t really know where to start. Nan and I have always been close more like my mum. I have such fond memories of my childhood with her.
fast forward 20 odd years.
My Dad got a house when I was 16 with my Nan to ensure she didn’t go into a care home. I’m now 33 two children toddler and ten year old and a partner.
My Nan has 3 sons and 5 grandkids. My Dad gambles and they were going to be evicted my Uncle said to me I will sort it out only if I move in! I couldn’t face my Nan being evicted with days notice it would of caused her a heart attack. So my partner who was also very close to he’s Nan who passed a while back and I sat down and I said I can’t say no she needs me. Gave up our shared ownership. What we pay for rent here my Uncle said will come off our mortgage agreement with Him once my Nans passed not until can we get it in our name.
many how 3 years later and my Nan has unspecified dementia and98 years old I also have a toddler and a teenager. My dad lives here and has small rent fee of£100 a week to pay me. He gambles and I’m owed a lot. The other sons barely visit and grandkids don’t at all.
my Nan is needed round the clock care meal tablets accidents such as setting herself poking herself. I work part time but can’t work more as my Nan and kids. Carers come for 30 mins a day to wash her.
I’m struggling with The size of this old house and how much it costs in gas and electric alonelet alone all the things that need fixing and redoing due to its age. We are basically paying for my dad and my Nan to live here free understand my Nan she’s old.
then I tell my uncle as he’s power of attorney that I am applying for careers allowance not sure if I’ll get anything etc.
find out he’s getting it and putting it into her account. He said well you don’t care for her. I’m exhausted from the caring and I’m exhausted for the cost of this house. I’m also grieving the loss of my Nan even though she’s still here but her mind is going. I think I’m actually mentally struggling to juggle it all.
and quite frankly why should I be juggling! Everyone says just let them do it as in her sons but they won’t it will be left to me regardless. ButI’m on the verge of just s throwing the towel in and renting as no savings since being here to live so could never get a Mortgage. All because I’m too kind and think of others I don’t regret looking after my Nan I regret moving in here should of kept my house and have her move to me. But too late now and I’m stuck stuck of guilt. As she doesn’t want a care home but my mental health needs a break. Lockdown hasn’t helped as I haven’t met friends with kids for lunch to have a little bit of escapism. Please tell me I’m not the only one stuck like this.
thank you