Hi, this is my first post. I'm a 29 year old woman and have been looking after my mother alone for three years. She is 58 years old and was diagnosed in 2017.
I've reached breaking point so I would be extremely grateful for any advice you have. Despite have a sister (27) and brother (37), neither of them care to offer to help me with looking after our mother. I live with her, have a full-time job and have been studying part-time (weekly 3 hour lectures after work) so I have really been struggling with constant stress and demands. All other family live in America or the Caribbean and my mother lost contact with acquaintances.
I've had her diagnosed in 2017, I arranged her getting the ESA, PIP, housing benefit and I have an LPA for both finance and health. I had the care assessment in December (applying in July 2019). It lead to me being assigned with an occupational therapist (??) who argued with me and didn't let me know when carers would start visiting and then they went to the wrong. Eventually had a regular carer but they were quite loud and aggressive, throwing dishes in the sink, walking in the house, not speaking to my mum but speaking loudly on the phone in another language instead. Now with Covid-19 I have no carers visiting, my mother's need have increased regarding personal care and I can't get any form of respite.My mental health is at rock bottom and I worry about reaching a point that would leave my mother helpless.
I wanted to find a nursing home this year as I can no longer cope with the constant stress but my local authority has been awful. I've asked for carers to resuming visiting last week. I've asked for an increase in hours for personal care and if another carer can be assigned from the care agency. It was like getting blood from a stone asking for this on the phone and I haven't even been assigned a social worker.
I would be very grateful for advice about using private carers, finding a care home without a local authority because it's getting to the point where I cannot cope mentally or emotional with her.
In the three years, she went from working and being about to cooking go shopping, to not knowing where her bathroom is in her own house, not eating food that's available around her, refusing to have a bath, brush her teeth, wash her hair, watch TV, get out of bed, do any fun activity. She paces up and down the stairs 6am-9am, blames me for starving her when she's just forgotten she's had her meals and is in fact overweight. She throws used toilet papers on the floor, sink, bin. She will say she's hungry but throw most of her food in the bin, leaves the front door open, opens the door to people and talks to suspicious men I don't know...
I would be grateful for any advice and support as I am in a dark place. Thanks x
I've reached breaking point so I would be extremely grateful for any advice you have. Despite have a sister (27) and brother (37), neither of them care to offer to help me with looking after our mother. I live with her, have a full-time job and have been studying part-time (weekly 3 hour lectures after work) so I have really been struggling with constant stress and demands. All other family live in America or the Caribbean and my mother lost contact with acquaintances.
I've had her diagnosed in 2017, I arranged her getting the ESA, PIP, housing benefit and I have an LPA for both finance and health. I had the care assessment in December (applying in July 2019). It lead to me being assigned with an occupational therapist (??) who argued with me and didn't let me know when carers would start visiting and then they went to the wrong. Eventually had a regular carer but they were quite loud and aggressive, throwing dishes in the sink, walking in the house, not speaking to my mum but speaking loudly on the phone in another language instead. Now with Covid-19 I have no carers visiting, my mother's need have increased regarding personal care and I can't get any form of respite.My mental health is at rock bottom and I worry about reaching a point that would leave my mother helpless.
I wanted to find a nursing home this year as I can no longer cope with the constant stress but my local authority has been awful. I've asked for carers to resuming visiting last week. I've asked for an increase in hours for personal care and if another carer can be assigned from the care agency. It was like getting blood from a stone asking for this on the phone and I haven't even been assigned a social worker.
I would be very grateful for advice about using private carers, finding a care home without a local authority because it's getting to the point where I cannot cope mentally or emotional with her.
In the three years, she went from working and being about to cooking go shopping, to not knowing where her bathroom is in her own house, not eating food that's available around her, refusing to have a bath, brush her teeth, wash her hair, watch TV, get out of bed, do any fun activity. She paces up and down the stairs 6am-9am, blames me for starving her when she's just forgotten she's had her meals and is in fact overweight. She throws used toilet papers on the floor, sink, bin. She will say she's hungry but throw most of her food in the bin, leaves the front door open, opens the door to people and talks to suspicious men I don't know...
I would be grateful for any advice and support as I am in a dark place. Thanks x