Thanks for relies today @Sarasa @Starting on a journey @canary @charliejack @Woo2 xxxx It is very wearing and upsetting and confusing for all of us. Mum lives about 15-20 minute drive away from us and when I catch bus it's 2 buses and about an hour for me to get there so keep going back and forward isn't great. Things got better this afternoon but then tonight while I've been writing this things got worse again.
Mum was fine when we picked her up and brought her to our house, nothing mentioned about earlier this morning by mum or us. She was happy to be here, enjoyed her lunch and we watched tv and chatted about it and everything was ok till 5 when she started getting bit fidgety. Just after 5 she picked her bag up and said she'd better be off now. I asked why but she just shrugged. We talked her into finishing programme we were watching then a bit after that finished she wanted to go again because her brother would be emptying house, her usual worry about her mums house where she thought she lived now. We talked her out of that after a brief explanation that it was sorted years ago and persuaded her to stay for tea and she stayed about another hour before talking about going home and as it was after half 6 I thought might as well go along with it.
While we were waiting for hubby before we took her home she was calling me 'friend' and also on way to hers too. I kept calling her mum and hubby kept calling me Andrea but she didn't take any notice. She was ok at her house and when we left, but I wasn't sure if she knew I was me or 'friend'. She rang my mobile about 5 minutes after we left and said she just thought she'd ring for a little chat so obviously she'd still thought I was 'friend' when we left. She didn't know she'd been with us and said sorry she forgets a lot these days. I told her it didn't matter she knew us most of time and we didn't mind. She said thought been at 'friend' and her husbands and we should say who were. I told her we had but she might not have heard but we would next time. She said sorry she hadn't known, she was glad she had been with us cos she loved me so I told her we loved her. Mum said sorry again that she didn't know us so I told her she'd known us most of day and it didn't matter. She seemed ok when we hung up a minute later.
My mobile went at 25 to 10 . I said hello. Mum said Yes, Do you think you could just have been polite. I knew you weren't going to live with me forever but you could have told me you were going you just went. I told her I didn't live with her and hadn't since I got married almost 28 years ago. She said same thing again Well you could have shown a bit of politeness and told me. I said You know I'm married mum. I don't live with you mum but I come to your house everyday and you come to my house on a weekend. She said I don't! I said You came today, Mum said she hadn't so I told her what we'd had for lunch and what we'd watched and she said Yes but you could have told me you weren't going to live with me anymore. I said I did mum when I got married in 1992. Mum said I know when you get married! So I said Well that's why I don't live with you, I just visit you everyday and I still will. I tried to sound calm and pleasant even though mum sounded angry. Mum said I didn't know you were going. I said I got married 28 years ago mum and I've lived in my house with hubby since then and mum didn't answer she just hung up.
I rang her back a few times but she didn't answer, I left a couple of answer machine messages cos she can hear them as you leave them and I hoped she'd pick phone up and talk to me. I asked her to talk to me and said I din't want her to be upset and I loved her lots and I hadn't just left her and I visit her everyday and will come to see ehr tomorrow but she didn't answer.
She rang me again about 5 to 10 and said I'm sorry Andie I'm so confused I've got two houses now. We talked for almost 20 minutes with mum asking about where she was, where my dad was and where me and my sister lived and didn't we live with her. Did she come to my wedding, when did my dad die, where was her other house and her furniture, her clothes, her rings. Did she need to tell council, did she have to pay rent. She sounded so confused. She kept asking question after question over and over and saying she was so confused and was she going mad. I kept answering her with short answers, trying to reassure everything was ok all her things were there, she hadn't left anything anywhere else, she was ok and she didn't need to worry. I told her she wasn't mad just sometimes on an evening gets confused when her brain gets tired. Mum said she wasn't tired she just didn't know what doing and was mad. I said you're not mum your brain gets tired sometimes and remembers old things and they feel new, it's not every night just sometimes and you'll know it all tomorrow.
She kept asking if I'd go see her sometime and if hubby would go and I said I'll go in morning, I go everyday and hubby comes too. She was worrying it was long way and I couldn't walk there so I told her hubby brings me or I catch bus and its fine. She asked if hubby minded and I said no. Mum said she liked hubby and I said he liked her, mum said he won't when he knows I've gone mad. I told her she hadn't gone mad she was just overtired and mixed up a bit she'd be ok tomorrow.
She kept going back over questions about where house was and old house and where I lived and how long she'd been on her own and said she couldn't believe she lived on her own but there was only one bedroom. She said she was sat wondering why there were no people there and said nobody comes. I told her I go everyday. I don't live with her but I go everyday. She sounded surprised but grateful when I told her I went and also sounded grateful when she asked if I'd go see her or if she could come to my house sometime and I said yes. She kept saying ok she'd go now and started saying see you later, but then she'd ask another question and she still sounded so confused. I told her try not to worry about it mum, you're in right place, you've got everything you should have and it'll all come back to you in morning and I'll come see you tomorrow. She said ok. Mum said it's getting dark and I said it was 1/4 past 10 and mum said Is it? I said Yep it's nearly bedtime and mum said It is. Then she noticed we'd been on phone a while and asked if she'd rung me and had to pay for it, so I said its okay its cheap on a night and you can afford it it won't be much which she did do a little laugh at. We talked again about her being ok there and I'd go tomorrow and she could come to mine sometimes and I loved her lots and so did hubby and then she said night.
Today has been a real roller coaster of ups and downs, poor mum had been so upset and confused this morning and a bit angry, then happy, then confused, then angry and confused and upset tonight. I hope she settles now and gets some sleep. I'm feel guilty again about not rushing over to be with her tonight and worried if she'll be ok tonight.
Mum was fine when we picked her up and brought her to our house, nothing mentioned about earlier this morning by mum or us. She was happy to be here, enjoyed her lunch and we watched tv and chatted about it and everything was ok till 5 when she started getting bit fidgety. Just after 5 she picked her bag up and said she'd better be off now. I asked why but she just shrugged. We talked her into finishing programme we were watching then a bit after that finished she wanted to go again because her brother would be emptying house, her usual worry about her mums house where she thought she lived now. We talked her out of that after a brief explanation that it was sorted years ago and persuaded her to stay for tea and she stayed about another hour before talking about going home and as it was after half 6 I thought might as well go along with it.
While we were waiting for hubby before we took her home she was calling me 'friend' and also on way to hers too. I kept calling her mum and hubby kept calling me Andrea but she didn't take any notice. She was ok at her house and when we left, but I wasn't sure if she knew I was me or 'friend'. She rang my mobile about 5 minutes after we left and said she just thought she'd ring for a little chat so obviously she'd still thought I was 'friend' when we left. She didn't know she'd been with us and said sorry she forgets a lot these days. I told her it didn't matter she knew us most of time and we didn't mind. She said thought been at 'friend' and her husbands and we should say who were. I told her we had but she might not have heard but we would next time. She said sorry she hadn't known, she was glad she had been with us cos she loved me so I told her we loved her. Mum said sorry again that she didn't know us so I told her she'd known us most of day and it didn't matter. She seemed ok when we hung up a minute later.
My mobile went at 25 to 10 . I said hello. Mum said Yes, Do you think you could just have been polite. I knew you weren't going to live with me forever but you could have told me you were going you just went. I told her I didn't live with her and hadn't since I got married almost 28 years ago. She said same thing again Well you could have shown a bit of politeness and told me. I said You know I'm married mum. I don't live with you mum but I come to your house everyday and you come to my house on a weekend. She said I don't! I said You came today, Mum said she hadn't so I told her what we'd had for lunch and what we'd watched and she said Yes but you could have told me you weren't going to live with me anymore. I said I did mum when I got married in 1992. Mum said I know when you get married! So I said Well that's why I don't live with you, I just visit you everyday and I still will. I tried to sound calm and pleasant even though mum sounded angry. Mum said I didn't know you were going. I said I got married 28 years ago mum and I've lived in my house with hubby since then and mum didn't answer she just hung up.
I rang her back a few times but she didn't answer, I left a couple of answer machine messages cos she can hear them as you leave them and I hoped she'd pick phone up and talk to me. I asked her to talk to me and said I din't want her to be upset and I loved her lots and I hadn't just left her and I visit her everyday and will come to see ehr tomorrow but she didn't answer.
She rang me again about 5 to 10 and said I'm sorry Andie I'm so confused I've got two houses now. We talked for almost 20 minutes with mum asking about where she was, where my dad was and where me and my sister lived and didn't we live with her. Did she come to my wedding, when did my dad die, where was her other house and her furniture, her clothes, her rings. Did she need to tell council, did she have to pay rent. She sounded so confused. She kept asking question after question over and over and saying she was so confused and was she going mad. I kept answering her with short answers, trying to reassure everything was ok all her things were there, she hadn't left anything anywhere else, she was ok and she didn't need to worry. I told her she wasn't mad just sometimes on an evening gets confused when her brain gets tired. Mum said she wasn't tired she just didn't know what doing and was mad. I said you're not mum your brain gets tired sometimes and remembers old things and they feel new, it's not every night just sometimes and you'll know it all tomorrow.
She kept asking if I'd go see her sometime and if hubby would go and I said I'll go in morning, I go everyday and hubby comes too. She was worrying it was long way and I couldn't walk there so I told her hubby brings me or I catch bus and its fine. She asked if hubby minded and I said no. Mum said she liked hubby and I said he liked her, mum said he won't when he knows I've gone mad. I told her she hadn't gone mad she was just overtired and mixed up a bit she'd be ok tomorrow.
She kept going back over questions about where house was and old house and where I lived and how long she'd been on her own and said she couldn't believe she lived on her own but there was only one bedroom. She said she was sat wondering why there were no people there and said nobody comes. I told her I go everyday. I don't live with her but I go everyday. She sounded surprised but grateful when I told her I went and also sounded grateful when she asked if I'd go see her or if she could come to my house sometime and I said yes. She kept saying ok she'd go now and started saying see you later, but then she'd ask another question and she still sounded so confused. I told her try not to worry about it mum, you're in right place, you've got everything you should have and it'll all come back to you in morning and I'll come see you tomorrow. She said ok. Mum said it's getting dark and I said it was 1/4 past 10 and mum said Is it? I said Yep it's nearly bedtime and mum said It is. Then she noticed we'd been on phone a while and asked if she'd rung me and had to pay for it, so I said its okay its cheap on a night and you can afford it it won't be much which she did do a little laugh at. We talked again about her being ok there and I'd go tomorrow and she could come to mine sometimes and I loved her lots and so did hubby and then she said night.
Today has been a real roller coaster of ups and downs, poor mum had been so upset and confused this morning and a bit angry, then happy, then confused, then angry and confused and upset tonight. I hope she settles now and gets some sleep. I'm feel guilty again about not rushing over to be with her tonight and worried if she'll be ok tonight.
and I was busy trying to sort some other things out online and at home before went to mums. I've not had chance to contact anyone today, but as I've not heard from chemist about mums prescription today I'll ring MC tomorrow about it and tell her how mum has been. I've got some urine testing strips ordered so when they come I'll try get a sample off mum and if shows anything contact GPs. 
