Hi after much agonsing we made the desision to move MIL to a residential home. Her behaviour challenging without covid became even more difficult when her community was removed from her and with no concept of social distancing she risked herself on others on each of her frequent trips out of the house. I took her because none of her sons were able too/willing too.
It was tough but effective and i followed and adapted the advice of others in the forum which was really helpful. thank you
i thought i would share what worked:
1. I made sure my family got nice goodbye time but not too obvious (we are her carers to basically isolating as a two house household).
2. It is a private home and had a hotel vibe and lovely planting up to the door which i maximised. I told her I had seen some beautiful flowers and i was taking her to see them 48 hours before and then mentioned intermitantly adding a cup of tea in the hotel...
2. I showed her photos of a fantastic hotel I wanted to go to near by (images of the room she was having and from the website a couple of times in the days leading up to it). This worked because on the day she said I think I know this place.
2. I did a reccy to work out where i would park and walk through the plan.
3. I told the staff exactly what i would do. The manager agreed to meet us without a mask on.
4. I left some chocolates and fruit for the room (i felt better when staff said shed eaten all her banana's!!!)
5. We spent 4 minutes walking up the path admiring the flowers. As we approached the door I let her go ahead of me. As she crossed the threshold I remembered I had left my bag in the car the manager offered her a cup of tea and a sandwich while i ran back.
6. I left a letter in her room very short but saying she needed to stay in to be safe (unheaded message of the last 8 weeks!) this was a good place and i loved her and would come as soon as it is safe.
The hardest bit... not being able to hug her goodbye (it would totally have given the game away).
One chapter ends the next starts....
It was tough but effective and i followed and adapted the advice of others in the forum which was really helpful. thank you
i thought i would share what worked:
1. I made sure my family got nice goodbye time but not too obvious (we are her carers to basically isolating as a two house household).
2. It is a private home and had a hotel vibe and lovely planting up to the door which i maximised. I told her I had seen some beautiful flowers and i was taking her to see them 48 hours before and then mentioned intermitantly adding a cup of tea in the hotel...
2. I showed her photos of a fantastic hotel I wanted to go to near by (images of the room she was having and from the website a couple of times in the days leading up to it). This worked because on the day she said I think I know this place.
2. I did a reccy to work out where i would park and walk through the plan.
3. I told the staff exactly what i would do. The manager agreed to meet us without a mask on.
4. I left some chocolates and fruit for the room (i felt better when staff said shed eaten all her banana's!!!)
5. We spent 4 minutes walking up the path admiring the flowers. As we approached the door I let her go ahead of me. As she crossed the threshold I remembered I had left my bag in the car the manager offered her a cup of tea and a sandwich while i ran back.
6. I left a letter in her room very short but saying she needed to stay in to be safe (unheaded message of the last 8 weeks!) this was a good place and i loved her and would come as soon as it is safe.
The hardest bit... not being able to hug her goodbye (it would totally have given the game away).
One chapter ends the next starts....