Spoke to an Admiral Nurse yesterday after visiting the home. I had to as I was in a bit of a state and needed to talk to someone who knows what we are going through.
As my wife looked through the care home window she just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t come in. She looked so disappointed and I tried not to cry in front of her but started to and had to walk away. I wondered why I torture myself like this but, because I miss her so much, I have to go to see her.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The nurse suggested I go less often, just for a month, to see if I would feel better. Also she advised to always ask the home how she is when I’m not there. And think about the positives (are there any?)
. I’ve lost my wife to dementia and find myself on my own. I’ve got ongoing prostate concerns with my surgery delayed so I’m on hormone tablets which make me tired and more emotional . Let’s not forget lockdown and the virus fears. Is it any wonder I’m so emotional and miserable. If I feel a bit happy I feel guilty for being so, knowing that Bridget’s locked away
what a situation!
Bless you all for reading my posts
peter
This is such an evil disease, I Pray by the time I see Dave he will still know me? II so want him back, I know given a choice he would want to be home! He has lost so much weight in a very short time, I feel I have let him down as a wife .and the quilt I feel never goes. I know he has gone to far for me to have him home with the constant wandering and the incontenence . I would gladly swop with him! He is unaware of my misery, and I am glad of that. I know this is worrying times for all, our Daughter is a critical care nurse on the front line, I try and stay strong for her,but this isolation just is all consuming. Sad Sue.X
hi sue
you seem to be going through more or less the same as me. We would gladly give up all if it made a difference to our loved one. People ask “ imagine it the other way round, how would Bridget cope”. Well I just don’t know and that sort of question gets me nowhere.
all I know is that on balance I’d rather be looked after, as my wife is, than going through this misery every day. Anyway, it’s fantasy, but when we are going through, this thoughts become irrational
bless you
peter