A lifelong friend and me

Status
Not open for further replies.

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,274
0
I just wanted to add my Thanks and appreciation for all that you and your colleagues are doing for the rest of us. Stay safe. I hope the suggestion of hotel accommodation and food shopping hours is respected and makes your life a bit easier in order to help us. It is the least you deserve
??????????????????????????
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,356
0
Nottinghamshire
I just wanted to add my Thanks and appreciation for all that you and your colleagues are doing for the rest of us. Stay safe. I hope the suggestion of hotel accommodation and food shopping hours is respected and makes your life a bit easier in order to help us. It is the least you deserve

Absolutely!
 

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
1,223
0
South east
My eldest is a hospital pre-reg pharmacist and she is still expecting to sit her GPhC assessment in June (how can they let 100s of students sit in a hall to do an exam). They haven’t cancelled it yet, nor registered them as fully fledged pharmacists. They have a masters degree and have spent 4 years at university.
She’s on the wards in the vicinity of a lot of patients who have tested +ive, and commuting on public transport.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,168
0
56
North West
Thanks everyone

Patients are coming thick and fast now with ?Covid-19 or confirmed Covid-19. Todays formal press release from the hospital is two deaths from confirmed Covid-19 cases so far and this is a semi-rural acute hospital.

Please urge everyone to stay at home and keep to the new measures. This virus is killing young and old alike, it doesn't discrminate between age or what conditions people have, but those with underlying conditions are more likely to succumb to how it attacks the body.

The World Health Organisation are now setting up clinical trials and our hospital is one of them to offer 4 possible interventions for those who need treatment -reassuring to know that some good will come out of this.

One nurse is already fighting for her life on intensive care, so please take note about staying at home.

I read the report on the Spanish CH, I have since read the Spanish police/authorities will be investigating this as natural disasters are no excuse for criminal negligence.

I'm back tomorrow for two days and then my hours will be increased. I haven't worked in intensive care for 9 years, but it may get to the point I have to.

Stay calm and stay safe everyone
 

Nor65

New member
Mar 24, 2020
3
0
In 2011 I left London to come home to the North West, after a long career as a senior nurse in intensive care. When I arrived everything was normal as far as I could see with my parents. Dad had been treated for melanoma which had spread, but he'd been treated and had survived past the 5 year mark (just). I had secured a job in New Zealand with a one way ticket, but something held me back -my mum. If I could have taken her with me I would. So with mum in mind I didn't go to New Zealand.

I had always mixed feelings about coming home, it was my roots and natural, but on the other hand dad and I never got on and he was a drinker ( and quite a ******* when he was ****ed on whisky). I had resolved if mum went before dad that I wouldn't take on care responsibilities for him. What happened is that dad died before mum and so here I am writing this. In 2015 dad died from his cancer, within three weeks his of admission to hospital. That chapter closed quite suddenly and I have to say quite emotionally. What was left was mum and me and a whole new world of Altzheimer's, mum and me.

Mum and I are are old friends, we are lucky in that respect. We have stood by each other through thick and thin whatever comes. We have supported each other and even both took our A level art and pottery together a long time ago which I am glad we both did. I didn't really start caring for mum until 2015, she had been diagnosed in 2010. She had a bad fall at the end of 2015 and when examined in hospital they said she was 'quite remarkable' given her diagnosis -I agreed she was amazingly good some five years after diagnosis. But, there was one problem, mum refused to take her donepezil, she had done since they were first prescribed and dad, for love nor money couldn't get her to take them. So I gave her an ultimatum either she takes the tablets and I can help her, or she doesn't I won't be able to help for much longer. Consquently she started to take them.

We have got through nearly four years without needing much help (although I have on occasion nearly torn all my hair out), but over the last six months things have began to escalate. Plus I work full time in the NHS and can't give up my job, I am single and have to think about my future when I am old and grey too (if I get that far the way things are going at the moment). I might be an experienced nurse, but caring professionally is very different to caring for your own, and I can say fairly honestly my emotions span from being ok on happier days to being very dark on bad days. Which brings me to something I have seen glimpses of in these forums, how we cope and how not coping takes over the carer, I saw one phrase 'carer breakdown' in one thread.

In 2005 London was bombed by terrorists, I was called into work to intensive care. I won't describe what I saw or what hospital I was working at, I will say it was horrific. But we carried on as we Brits do, 4 of our patients survived in ICU, one sadly died the night of the bombings. A year later something then happened to me and it seem to come from nowhere. I was sectioned under the MHA for acute depressive episode with an element of psychosis. I was treated for three months and returned to work a very different person to the one I was before. So much had been going on in my life all the stress, worrying about my parents at home, my own unhappiness in London and then the bombings, it all took its toll. Its over ten years now since that all happened.

I have recently involved social services (SS) as I can't cope on my own anymore with my good friend, mum. I have to say I always thought social services would be more caring and forward coming in advancing help when it really is needed. I like many others on this forum have learned that I am in fact naive on these matters and can say truthfully my emotions have ranged from feeling like I have failed mum and extreme anger towards the SS and in fact to the state, that seems to let us down over and over again. I am in tune with my emotions now after my own episode in 2006 and I can recognise the darker side of my personality when it tries to pervail and know what to do, but caring for mum puts me like many others at risk of 'carer breakdown'

There are so many different stories on this forum, I wish I could help where I can help but I can't unfortnately. What I will say is that breakdown comes in many different ways and often isn't noticed by the person experiencing it. When I was a student on my mental health placement (along time ago) I asked if psychiatric professionals become unwell too, they replied 'you can't work in a paint shop without getting splashed'. Food for thought.

xx
 

Nor65

New member
Mar 24, 2020
3
0
So sad to read all this but also so familiar and unless you're in this situation no one can appreciate all the mixed emotions you go through. I'm my mums carer,I do have a brother living near by who's extremely selfish but of course is wonderful!!? And luckily for me I have friends who help with mum as I work 3 days and also support my husband who had 3 spinal ops, now with depression. But still I feel the guilt no matter what I do for mum who's been diagnosed with vascular dementia for 6 years , recently not sure who I was. I have twin daughters 22 ,who support me but I do feel life is passing me by,and there's the guilt again
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,168
0
56
North West
So sad to read all this but also so familiar and unless you're in this situation no one can appreciate all the mixed emotions you go through. I'm my mums carer,I do have a brother living near by who's extremely selfish but of course is wonderful!!? And luckily for me I have friends who help with mum as I work 3 days and also support my husband who had 3 spinal ops, now with depression. But still I feel the guilt no matter what I do for mum who's been diagnosed with vascular dementia for 6 years , recently not sure who I was. I have twin daughters 22 ,who support me but I do feel life is passing me by,and there's the guilt again

We can only do our best, and the world shouldn't be put on our shoulders @Nor65 . My invisible brother hasn't visited mum since 17th January and now he can't go anyway -this is the first born, the child my parents based all of their hopes on ?? Meanwhile the third born is picking all the pieces up, working full-time and worrying about CH issues -I feel for you as I do myself, its just hard work, demisary and as things are now even more pressure. Guilt -yes, but there is only so much we should wrap ourselves up in and the rest someone else needs to take on ;)
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,168
0
56
North West
I just flipped out at the governments appeal for volunteers to help the vulnerable and posted this to my MP just now:

Dear Esther,

Now may not be the time to raise this, but I argue now is the time. I cannot believe that in a country so well placed in the world as the UK that 250, 000 volunteers are being asked to help the vulnerable -I am speechless at the lack of the morality of progressive governments. These mechanisms should have been already in place by a well funded social care system, and how dare this government ask for volunteers when these issues have been raised over and over and over again. There is only so much good will, and how are volunteers supposed to help those more challenging in need of care??

Things have to change for the future and I sincerely hope lessons are learned from this

Regards

Simon XXXXXXXXXXX
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
Well said, you are preaching to the converted @Palerider. A wrecking ball has been at the social care system for the last 10 years...Dilnot 2010 damning but, nothing really happened. Report July 2019 to the House of Lords, exactly the same story with the cumulative effect of 9 years inaction since the Dilnot to compound it. All there have ever been is empty words and platitudes. Who does it affect? All the good people on this forum, it's shameful.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
...sorry I realise the clarion call was for NHS staff. I didn't mean to ignore that!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,168
0
56
North West
Well said, you are preaching to the converted @Palerider. A wrecking ball has been at the social care system for the last 10 years...Dilnot 2010 damning but, nothing really happened. Report July 2019 to the House of Lords, exactly the same story with the cumulative effect of 9 years inaction since the Dilnot to compound it. All there have ever been is empty words and platitudes. Who does it affect? All the good people on this forum, it's shameful.

I am literally furious over it and am close to screaming frankly. I hope todays politicians suffer in their thoughts of what now will unfold, because they deserve to. I am absolutely agrieved with this plea for volunteers who will have no idea of how to manage those living alone with various difficulties including dementia.

GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,277
0
Nottinghamshire
Exactly what will these 250,000 volunteers be able to do? They are not trained nurses or carers and would need someone to take the focus off caring for ill people to train them. Having worked with volunteers, not all will actually be capable of doing the job, willing though they may be.
The government now seems to want to blame Transport for London for crowded trains, when they've been told a third of the workforce is sick and that non-essential workers should stay home. I surprised my son's company is still working, but he says it's pretty much business as usual. They are far from an essential service, but because it is industry they can't work from home. My husband's work (television) has got most people working from home, and though he is going in tomorrow and Thursday at least he can use his bike.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,076
0
South coast
Is anyone going to vet these volunteers? They will be working with the vulnerable.
Most people who volunteer are genuine, but unfortunately there are a minority who are not.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,076
0
South coast
Very interesting link @nitram
I still stand by my concerns re vetting - I know how long DBS vetting takes at the best of times. I suspect that vetting and training will be cursory at best
A good idea, but the devil is in the detail.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.