In a way this is a final post from me. My wonderful OH finally succumbed to Pneumonia and passed away on 11th January.
He had suffered 3 bouts of pneumonia in the five months leading up to his death, and antibiotics could no longer help him. This was further hampered by his inability to tolerate canula's and fading ability to take medication or understand that he should swallow what was given. Right up until the final few days, when he could no longer communicate he knew me and I am grateful for that. That the end came within 4-5 years of finally getting a diagnosis was a bit of a shock, but supports my theory that he had been unwell for many years by the time that was made, and it was only when it became so severe that he could no longer hide it all the time that we began to see the signs.
The hospital were able to return him to the Nursing Home for the final 10 days of his care and I am so glad of that. During times, when stories of Nursing Home care only seem to be reported in a bad light ( and Oh Yes I do know they are probably true having experienced it ourselves) I want to say that the staff were absolutely wonderful. They came in on their day off and visited from the other units in their breaks to see him. They sat with him overnight, enabling me to take a break and get some much needed rest, but kept me informed with every change that occurred and any changes needed in his treatment to keep him comfortable. They found time to keep me supplied with coffee and if I wanted it food whilst still tending to OH and other residents. It was much better to sit with him in quieter surrounding of his own home, where he was priority rather a hospital ward. No side rooms were available at the hospital as they were completely full. one final piece of wisdom that I can say I have learned over the last 3 years. Please don't discount Nursing Home care as 'putting him/her in a home'.
It was the last thing I wanted too but it enabled OH and I to restore our relationship to husband and wife and there have been many happy and moments of laughter we have shared, that would have been denied to us, i am sure had he remained in our home. Take care everyone and thank you all so much for the support over the last few years. I have good support from family and friends, but I know I couldn't have done it without all of you on here