When your husband doesn't know you..

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,452
0
Kent
I'd say it happens more later in the day, but also in the morning sometimes. How did you learn to deal with it when it happened. I'd welcome any tips because I am finding it really distressing?

I didn`t deal with it well at all. I spent most of the time either in tears, or following him when he left the house.

We were lucky our son lived 5 minutes away and for some reason my husband often walked to our son`s house. It amazed me the many times my husband didn`t see me as his real wife he was never confused about our son. Our son kept his dad with him for an hour or two then asked if he wanted to be taken home and he came like a lamb.
 

Sunshine2*

Registered User
May 16, 2019
131
0
Hello, Reading all your comments really helps everyone. One morning, my husband asked the name of the woman that is about all day and speaks with him. I told him it was me, but he said no, not you, you are my wife but I don’t know your name! Sometimes he doesn’t know he’s at home and one time he told me his wife had died. So many things to deal with, as well as failing mobility... and bladder and bowel problems with his MS and MS Dementia. Fluctuating confusion...
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
This week, my husband has been obsessed about his money again. He gets upset that he has no money, so I give him a list of his accounts, and he stares at this for hours. I know he has no understanding of what it says. Then he tells me his wife organised these for him and she has died!! This is now a daily occurrence and I can’t do anything but play along with it. Its a bit wearing hearing over and over that you have died, but that's what he believes!!!
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
I’ll have to give it a try, I think. This is his main obsession, which has now been going off and on for 2 years!!! We’re never away from it, but sometimes I can placate him or distract for a short time. This week it’s been non stop!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
679
0
I’ll have to give it a try, I think. This is his main obsession, which has now been going off and on for 2 years!!! We’re never away from it, but sometimes I can placate him or distract for a short time. This week it’s been non stop!
I do feel for you. I have the same on and off - for a time it was every evening, wanting to know how much money he has, saying he's got no money, etc. We still get the question occasionally 'do I have any money' but not so frequently. I hope the same with your husband and he finds something else to obsess about because it does drive you nuts!!
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
I do feel for you. I have the same on and off - for a time it was every evening, wanting to know how much money he has, saying he's got no money, etc. We still get the question occasionally 'do I have any money' but not so frequently. I hope the same with your husband and he finds something else to obsess about because it does drive you nuts!!
Thanks for your reply.. That’s exactly what it’s like here! i’ll suddenly hear him almost in tears, that he’s got no money. I don’t want him distressed, so I have to stop whatever I’m doing to try to console him and show him he has money!! The doctor tells me not to react and he will forget. No way, he’d still be at it hours later if I left him to worry. You’re right, it drives me nuts! I wish he’d change the record!!!
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
138,149
Messages
1,993,470
Members
89,812
Latest member
Peej