Thanks @Pete1 @Woohoo xx
I feel that mum will struggle being on her own for even a short amount of time because she was already struggling before I stayed but now I've been here 3 months she's dependant on me being here. Which may be my fault for staying here so long but she has never seemed like I could leave her.
Setting the complication of the tablets aside: I agree. I would feel the same. I do not think you have made her dependent, I believe this is where she is now. I think it's perhaps a red herring to try carers coming in. I believe, realistically, you will need to skip straight to residential. I am concerned it will take a very serious crisis to get you there though, and I think you should try to avoid that for yours and mum's sake. I hope you will forgive me, unqualified as I am, if I suggest it may be best to try a short holiday at a home to see how it could potentially go. Even if you think she will refuse to go, this cannot be put off indefinitely.
Like you I felt that Dad could maybe have managed an in-between situation with extra care but actually he has done really well in the home and my stress lifted too.
Dad went to his home for a week to recover from an invasive medical investigation, and when we needed to move him shortly afterwards we were lucky in that they had a room coming free and we felt good that he had already been there and the carers had experienced his issues and were able to help.