None of this is your fault Peter, it is the disease not you. You know that Bridget would never ever have wanted this for her life, or for you to have this torment in your life. You are feeling guilt because you are unable to help, unable to do anything, none of us can, we know in our hearts and minds that we are absolutely helpless, floundering about in the depths of darkness and despair but trying and never giving up. We all wish we could, but we cannot make our loved ones well again no one in the world has this power or capability. Rich or poor, good or evil no one can buy or plead their way out of this hell. We may make promises, plead and scream at the Lord, plead with Doctors, plead and scream at our loved ones all to try and heal them but their minds cannot be healed. At the end of the day we all know that this is not a life anyone would have wished for. Alas, this is now their life Peter, this is their reality, their real world as they know it. As bad as we feel about their world and the reality In which they now live, it is not fair to give up on the people we love because their world and their grasp of reality is not how we perceive it should be. It is not Bridget that is giving up, it is the diseased mind, the diseased thought processes that are exhausted and broken by the dementia. Your mind is clear and able to understand, you know and can see what is happening it is because you know and can do nothing to stop the process that you feel as though you are falling apart. But you are not Peter, you are not falling apart, it is your own mind your own thought processes making you think that you are.
Although in your mind you are going through your own private hell, don't let Bridget’s world and reality as she now knows it, fall apart alone or with strangers you must be there to the end, she is yours. Bridget is trapped in her own hell, it is the fault of no one, you are trapped in your own hell, it is the fault if no one, but you are still capable of understanding, you are still able to process rational thoughts, you still know what is right, just, proper, lawful, still have the capability for love, friendship and can reach out to a stranger in trouble or despair- your heart is breaking - reach out to your wife Peter - this is not about you - this is for Bridget. Prayers xx
Although in your mind you are going through your own private hell, don't let Bridget’s world and reality as she now knows it, fall apart alone or with strangers you must be there to the end, she is yours. Bridget is trapped in her own hell, it is the fault of no one, you are trapped in your own hell, it is the fault if no one, but you are still capable of understanding, you are still able to process rational thoughts, you still know what is right, just, proper, lawful, still have the capability for love, friendship and can reach out to a stranger in trouble or despair- your heart is breaking - reach out to your wife Peter - this is not about you - this is for Bridget. Prayers xx