Stopped eating, taking small sips

[Lilac Blossom]

Husband has been in bed for over two weeks - now he has stopped eating except one or two spoonfuls of liquid soup, a few tiny sips of water but often he refuses to have anything. His meds have been discontinued.

At present he is comfortable, not in pain or discomfort, and is well looked after in his care home.

I have been told that if/when he feels pain or discomfort they will call in Marie Curie nurses to introduce syringe driver.

The staff are very kind to me but of course I am distressed seeing him like this, and apprehensive, not knowing what to expect, and when.

Lilac x

 

[Splashing About]

Hi Lilac, this was my mother last week. I found it hard to believe she would ever drink or eat again and was expecting death within the day and certainly the week. On the third day of taking absolutely nothing when she looked close to death she suddenly took lots of juice and a fortified yoghurt and is now looking robust and no longer close to death. I heard exactly this scenario from many others but it still surprised me...so prepare for this because it’s a mixed blessing because you feel it just prolongs the inevitable.

I had read a lot about what happens when not taking anything. Lots of variations in how long people can last. Nothing to eat or drink is usually 3 days but can be longer. Sips of anything will extend this time period.

8 weeks without food. Again this is variable.

Eventually they weaken and the heart muscle will also weaken and their sleepiness extends into the final sleep. Mum did not urinate or open her bowels for several days.

Sorry to be so blunt but I know I wanted more info and it seems you do

 

[Splashing About]

My mum is still limiting her intake but taking enough to keep going. She’s agitated and unhappy. I find it incredibly hard to see that.

 

[Cat27]

I’m sorry to read your update @Lilac Blossom. It’s so difficult to watch our loved ones fade away. I wish you strength.

 

[Izzy]

I too am sorry to read your update @Lilac Blossom. I found the Marie Cure nurses a real comfort when my mother was at this stage. They gave me a book which I found very helpful. I went back to it when my husband was in hospital in his last days. I wondered if you would find the link helpful - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/terminal-illness/preparing/what-to-expect

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Thank you so much for replies Splashing About, Cat27 and Izzy. I appreciate the link Izzy - such a lot of useful info, very helpful

Today I noticed a marked deterioration - OH looks very poorly, so thin it's heartbreaking to see him like this. He is not in pain so he's not on medication at the moment. No-one can say when the end will come and much as I want to hold on to him, my dear one needs to be released from the troubles of this life.

Lilac

 

[Izzy]

Heartbreaking for you. Wishing you strength.

 

[Cat27]

Thinking of you @Lilac Blossom.

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Hubby sleeping all the time - I haven't seen him awake for five days.

Staff say he had half a yogurt, or couple spoonfuls of creamy porridge, tiny sips of juice.

Watching and waiting on my own is so tiring and stressful.

Thank you so much for support. x

 

[Splashing About]

So hard for you. It’s agonising to keep vigil

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Hubby sleeping all the time - I haven't seen him awake for five days.

Staff say he had half a yogurt, or couple spoonfuls of creamy porridge, tiny sips of juice.

Watching and waiting on my own is so tiring and stressful.

Thank you so much for support. x

oh my lovely it’s not an easy time for you. Please take care of yourself
Xx

 

[Channiechanty]

Thinking of you both xx

 

[Bikerbeth]

Thoughts to you at this hard time

 

[Cat27]

Thinking of you both xx

welcome to DTP @Channiechanty

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Hubby has started to accept a small amount of liquidised soup and sometimes some custard - occasionally a few sips of juice. He cannot feed himself of course and the effort of being fed small amounts of food exhausts him and he sleeps for hours afterwards.

I don't think this is an improvement, but maybe a kind of temporary plateau? Part of me feels that I should be pleased to have this time, however long or short, but somehow I am feeling more sad and really tired than I felt three weeks ago. Is it normal to feel this way?

I really appreciate all the encouraging messages - thank you all. x

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Hubby has started to accept a small amount of liquidised soup and sometimes some custard - occasionally a few sips of juice. He cannot feed himself of course and the effort of being fed small amounts of food exhausts him and he sleeps for hours afterwards.

I don't think this is an improvement, but maybe a kind of temporary plateau? Part of me feels that I should be pleased to have this time, however long or short, but somehow I am feeling more sad and really tired than I felt three weeks ago. Is it normal to feel this way?

I really appreciate all the encouraging messages - thank you all. x

Yes it’s totally normal, it’s as if the inevitability of the situation is just being drawn out- that’s how I feel with Dad. He’s off all meds bar two; comfort care package in place. Sleeps 23 hours out of 24, & yet his skin colour looks better than last week! His weight is still dropping & he is skeletal. It breaks my heart each time I visit.

sending you (((((((hugs))))))) love & strength for the days a head. xxx

 

[Buttercup24]

Husband has been in bed for over two weeks - now he has stopped eating except one or two spoonfuls of liquid soup, a few tiny sips of water but often he refuses to have anything. His meds have been discontinued.

At present he is comfortable, not in pain or discomfort, and is well looked after in his care home.

I have been told that if/when he feels pain or discomfort they will call in Marie Curie nurses to introduce syringe driver.

The staff are very kind to me but of course I am distressed seeing him like this, and apprehensive, not knowing what to expect, and when.

Lilac x

 

[Buttercup24]

I can relate to you, my mum is end of life, but is very strong, I see her most days sleeping, small amount of fluids and very little food, so very sad and emotional to watch, thoughts with you.
Rosalie

 

[Lilac Blossom]

His heart is good - that's what's keeping him going they say. He is sleeping almost all the time - has approx two spoonfuls soup, a few sips of water and that's all for the whole day.

Thanks for kind responses - I'm sorry to hear how many of us are experiencing such sad times.

Bless you all - Lilac x