Things are getting rediculous, now I'm wide awake and mum is sound asleep. Earlier my heart rate was racing and I was feeling 'odd', so I checked it 110 bpm roughly, took my bisoprolol and it did make me feel better, less fluttery. I woke about 20 mins ago and tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but couldn't -so here I am again. I think this is now down to the fact I am constantly worrying.
My work lead is coming to see me on Friday, social visit to see how I am and no doubt to try and help plan things from a work point of view, so thats a relief. I've missed being at work, in some ways its a sanctuary from this, but I can't leave here until I can make sure mum is safe and not alone.
Mum seems better tonight, so hopefully her abx are having some affect, heard her coughing a bit, quite rattly but she didn't wake.
I hate being like this, its so not a good place to be.