I’ve just phoned the home and asked how my wife is and she’s washed, eaten half her dinner and she’s now wandering around the corridor.
I feel so unhappy for her as she must be so anxious and disoriented most of the time. When I saw her yesterday it seemed she was dying in front of my eyes as her whole personality has altered. Not surprising given the combination of a UTI, medication and her vascular dementia. I’m really sorry that I put her in the home and the guilt is tremendous but she’s now having the care l couldn’t give. Problem for me is that it’s in the confines of a care home.
I could do most things, change her, wash her if she’d let me and cook meals. But suppose I had to do all that with little sleep, and suppose I got ill with a bad cold and felt wretched. But It’s hard to be realistic when the emotions of loss are so raw.
I feel so unhappy for her as she must be so anxious and disoriented most of the time. When I saw her yesterday it seemed she was dying in front of my eyes as her whole personality has altered. Not surprising given the combination of a UTI, medication and her vascular dementia. I’m really sorry that I put her in the home and the guilt is tremendous but she’s now having the care l couldn’t give. Problem for me is that it’s in the confines of a care home.
I could do most things, change her, wash her if she’d let me and cook meals. But suppose I had to do all that with little sleep, and suppose I got ill with a bad cold and felt wretched. But It’s hard to be realistic when the emotions of loss are so raw.