STOP BEING SO SELFISH >>>>>
I was once asked since being diagnosed with dementia years, would you go back and try to change anything ?? My answer was simple, YES I would, and it is this!!
I would go back a few years and tell myself to stop being so ****** Selfish, and here's why.
Ok, so when I was first diagnosed I threw my toys out of the pram shouting WHY ME?, I was only 50 years old and had already lost my Gran and Father to dementia and I was fuming. A couple of years earlier I had to retire with heart failure and this was another blow that shook me off my feet.
But what I didn't realise at the time, and do now, was how selfish I had been, because as I got worse I flatly refused to have any care, any help from anybody else which meant Elaine had to do it all herself. Looking back now, i always think, how could I do this to someone who has loved me, supported me, stood by me through thick and thin for all these years and expect her now to take up the strain all by herself, HOW SELFISH is that!!
I know hindsight is a wonderful thing they say and at that time I used the words "Babysitter" and was very adamant I could manage on my own when I quite clearly couldn't as in the past i have nearly set the kitchen on fire three times (Not that I am a bad cook I may add!!) But I just couldn't see why anybody of my age would need a person of similar age, for the want of a better word, Babysitting " me, I was having none of it, until ?????
Until one day I caught Elaine crying with exhaustion and Elaine is not one to cry, you also have to remember that Elaine also had 35 years as a professional carer under her belt, but when it's one of your own ?? when you cant clock off and go home ?? it's such a different matter.
If I am very honest I have never forgiven myself for that, and believe me, even then it wasn't easy, I had about 5 different carers in 6 months until Peter came along nearly three years ago now. He inspired me to fall in love with fishing, he taught me what I know about fishing and now just love it when Elaine gets HER time with family and friends and I can get out and about as well.
So YES I would tell myself to stop being so ****** selfish and think about others this disease affects, not just yourself.
Much love
Norrms xxxxxxxxxxxx
I was once asked since being diagnosed with dementia years, would you go back and try to change anything ?? My answer was simple, YES I would, and it is this!!
I would go back a few years and tell myself to stop being so ****** Selfish, and here's why.
Ok, so when I was first diagnosed I threw my toys out of the pram shouting WHY ME?, I was only 50 years old and had already lost my Gran and Father to dementia and I was fuming. A couple of years earlier I had to retire with heart failure and this was another blow that shook me off my feet.
But what I didn't realise at the time, and do now, was how selfish I had been, because as I got worse I flatly refused to have any care, any help from anybody else which meant Elaine had to do it all herself. Looking back now, i always think, how could I do this to someone who has loved me, supported me, stood by me through thick and thin for all these years and expect her now to take up the strain all by herself, HOW SELFISH is that!!
I know hindsight is a wonderful thing they say and at that time I used the words "Babysitter" and was very adamant I could manage on my own when I quite clearly couldn't as in the past i have nearly set the kitchen on fire three times (Not that I am a bad cook I may add!!) But I just couldn't see why anybody of my age would need a person of similar age, for the want of a better word, Babysitting " me, I was having none of it, until ?????
Until one day I caught Elaine crying with exhaustion and Elaine is not one to cry, you also have to remember that Elaine also had 35 years as a professional carer under her belt, but when it's one of your own ?? when you cant clock off and go home ?? it's such a different matter.
If I am very honest I have never forgiven myself for that, and believe me, even then it wasn't easy, I had about 5 different carers in 6 months until Peter came along nearly three years ago now. He inspired me to fall in love with fishing, he taught me what I know about fishing and now just love it when Elaine gets HER time with family and friends and I can get out and about as well.
So YES I would tell myself to stop being so ****** selfish and think about others this disease affects, not just yourself.
Much love
Norrms xxxxxxxxxxxx