Hi
Firstly my mum was diagnosed with Dementia 3 and a half years ago. My dad was her carer and was quite a private man. I saw my mum every week and spoke most days. Very unexpectedly my dad passed away on the 13th August. My mum found him dead on the sofa and emergency services were called when mum was spotted at the window by a neighbor in distress. Emergency services smashed through a double glazed door but dad had passed.
Since then I moved in (I’m in my late 40s and have a wife and boy who starts school next week) with my mum and have learnt first hand the flow of dementia with my mum. I’m coping but after losing my dad and not getting much sleep looking after mum I need some help and advice please....Many questions I’m afraid as they come....
Firstly and unfortunately I don’t have POA.
My mum lived with dad and they own their home.
Most utilities come from joint account. Do I have to tell Bank immediately on dads passing but worried bills won’t get paid adding stress to situation.
My mum can’t live alone.
Mum has less than 20.000 pounds in savings.
I have to go home to be there for son starting school and our house is tiny and won’t fit mum as well.
Some days mum is good but mostly now her home of 32 years is a holiday home to her.
The way I see things going is to have to put mum into a care home whilst I try and workout what the plan is. Deputyship looks a minefield. I would have questions with that and would struggle to pay for my dads funeral and all the costs and mention of bonds and yearly subscriptions. I just want to look after my mum. Pay the bills and ultimately sell my mums house I guess and move her into somewhere not far from me? I’m in Sussex and she lives in Surrey at the moment.
Will her council allow her to have respite near me do you think to help the situation? Does anyone have experience similar to where I’m at that can offer any advice please.
I’m upset lying on a camp bed after all weekend tidying the house and throwing out my dads old clothes etc in preparation for arranging the funeral tomorrow of my dad. I need some ideas if anyone reads this and can offer some support. My mum is convinced that my dad will be back and has 30 minute grief cycles mixing real life with fiction.......
I just want mum to be happy as can be ideally near me in a smaller Dementia assisted or run place near me where we can see as much of her as possible for the time left.
Sorry for rambling.
Thanks and with love
Firstly my mum was diagnosed with Dementia 3 and a half years ago. My dad was her carer and was quite a private man. I saw my mum every week and spoke most days. Very unexpectedly my dad passed away on the 13th August. My mum found him dead on the sofa and emergency services were called when mum was spotted at the window by a neighbor in distress. Emergency services smashed through a double glazed door but dad had passed.
Since then I moved in (I’m in my late 40s and have a wife and boy who starts school next week) with my mum and have learnt first hand the flow of dementia with my mum. I’m coping but after losing my dad and not getting much sleep looking after mum I need some help and advice please....Many questions I’m afraid as they come....
Firstly and unfortunately I don’t have POA.
My mum lived with dad and they own their home.
Most utilities come from joint account. Do I have to tell Bank immediately on dads passing but worried bills won’t get paid adding stress to situation.
My mum can’t live alone.
Mum has less than 20.000 pounds in savings.
I have to go home to be there for son starting school and our house is tiny and won’t fit mum as well.
Some days mum is good but mostly now her home of 32 years is a holiday home to her.
The way I see things going is to have to put mum into a care home whilst I try and workout what the plan is. Deputyship looks a minefield. I would have questions with that and would struggle to pay for my dads funeral and all the costs and mention of bonds and yearly subscriptions. I just want to look after my mum. Pay the bills and ultimately sell my mums house I guess and move her into somewhere not far from me? I’m in Sussex and she lives in Surrey at the moment.
Will her council allow her to have respite near me do you think to help the situation? Does anyone have experience similar to where I’m at that can offer any advice please.
I’m upset lying on a camp bed after all weekend tidying the house and throwing out my dads old clothes etc in preparation for arranging the funeral tomorrow of my dad. I need some ideas if anyone reads this and can offer some support. My mum is convinced that my dad will be back and has 30 minute grief cycles mixing real life with fiction.......
I just want mum to be happy as can be ideally near me in a smaller Dementia assisted or run place near me where we can see as much of her as possible for the time left.
Sorry for rambling.
Thanks and with love