I`m Scared

[David61]

Hello my name is Dave and I am scared my 87yr old mother might have Dementia with Lewy Bodies, it really is frightening for me and must be worse for my mum as she will not go and see her doctor. Mum can very easily forget that we just spoke on the phone minutes ago, plus she falls every so often too. Last week was very upsetting for me as I spoke to mum on the Friday night and she was looking forward to seeing me, then first thing Saturday morning mum phoned and said Don`t bother to come over as what and how I treated my 31yr old niece was unforgivable then I spoke to mum the next day and she told me to shut up and hung up. I spoke to mum today and she said she is really looking forward to seeing me and my little dog Susie and I hope mum does not cancel again, I have a lot of paper work and two books that the NHS helpline sent me to read as I just do not understand it all and I thought I`d join this site as the NHS said it can help too.

 

[Izzy]

Hi @David61 and welcome to the forum.

I’m so sorry to read about how difficult things are for you just now. It must be very hard trying to take it all in.

I wondered if it would be possible to have a word with your mum’s doctor or send him/her a letter which documents your concerns. Perhaps they would be willing to call on her or persuade her to come in for a ‘well woman’ appointment. In that way the GP would have all of the information from you before seeing her.

I’m sure the leaflets you have will be helpful when you’re ready to read them. In the meantime this forum is a great place to come for help and advice. There is always someone here to listen and to share their own experiences The Alzheimer’s Society also has a lot of factsheets and publications which are really useful. You may not be ready for them just now but I’ll give you the link so that you can have a look through them when you’re ready. The main thing is to keep posting here.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

 

[kindred]

Hello my name is Dave and I am scared my 87yr old mother might have Dementia with Lewy Bodies, it really is frightening for me and must be worse for my mum as she will not go and see her doctor. Mum can very easily forget that we just spoke on the phone minutes ago, plus she falls every so often too. Last week was very upsetting for me as I spoke to mum on the Friday night and she was looking forward to seeing me, then first thing Saturday morning mum phoned and said Don`t bother to come over as what and how I treated my 31yr old niece was unforgivable then I spoke to mum the next day and she told me to shut up and hung up. I spoke to mum today and she said she is really looking forward to seeing me and my little dog Susie and I hope mum does not cancel again, I have a lot of paper work and two books that the NHS helpline sent me to read as I just do not understand it all and I thought I`d join this site as the NHS said it can help too.

. Welcome David. We will do all we can to help. One way might be for you to ask questions about things you are finding it hard to understand. Thiw would make sure your concerns are addressed.
Warmest wishes,
KIndred.

 

[David61]

Hi @David61 and welcome to the forum.

I’m so sorry to read about how difficult things are for you just now. It must be very hard trying to take it all in.

I wondered if it would be possible to have a word with your mum’s doctor or send him/her a letter which documents your concerns. Perhaps they would be willing to call on her or persuade her to come in for a ‘well woman’ appointment. In that way the GP would have all of the information from you before seeing her.

I’m sure the leaflets you have will be helpful when you’re ready to read them. In the meantime this forum is a great place to come for help and advice. There is always someone here to listen and to share their own experiences The Alzheimer’s Society also has a lot of factsheets and publications which are really useful. You may not be ready for them just now but I’ll give you the link so that you can have a look through them when you’re ready. The main thing is to keep posting here.

Thank you for the reply, my niece who is a nurse spoke to a doctor at my mums medical centre and they are aware of her condition, mums doctor is currently on leave but they are going to phone mum to try and get her in for a talk. My niece plus myself and partner think my estranged brother is going round and saying things as he can be very hurtful. I just hope the doctor can get mum in for a chat, as one minute she is great with me and the next it feels as though she hates me.

 

[David61]

. Welcome David. We will do all we can to help. One way might be for you to ask questions about things you are finding it hard to understand. Thiw would make sure your concerns are addressed.
Warmest wishes,
KIndred.

My mother started to get very forgetful earlier last year, she left her gas on and when myself and my partner arrived we turned off the oven and opened all the windows she said she could not smell it. Mum has asked me what her ATM pin number is plus she will forget she just spoke to someone. I know it is not mum really talking to me rudely but the horrible disease.

 

[kindred]

My mother started to get very forgetful earlier last year, she left her gas on and when myself and my partner arrived we turned off the oven and opened all the windows she said she could not smell it. Mum has asked me what her ATM pin number is plus she will forget she just spoke to someone. I know it is not mum really talking to me rudely but the horrible disease.

Yes it is but that doesn't stop it hurting at the time, David. Well done for being wise enough to recognise this.
This leaving gas on etc is typical behaviour and we have to find ways to keep them safe. Often sense of smell does go and they get to a point where they would not recognise danger and be able to react, so we have to make sure their homes are danger proof.
Forgetting PIN numbers is also typical and at some stage we have to see if they can cope with ther fnances. ALso, David, this would be a good time to think about getting power of attorney for finance and welfare.
See what you think. I dont want to overload you with stuff!
Warmest, Kindred.

 

[David61]

Yes it is but that doesn't stop it hurting at the time, David. Well done for being wise enough to recognise this.
This leaving gas on etc is typical behaviour and we have to find ways to keep them safe. Often sense of smell does go and they get to a point where they would not recognise danger and be able to react, so we have to make sure their homes are danger proof.
Forgetting PIN numbers is also typical and at some stage we have to see if they can cope with ther fnances. ALso, David, this would be a good time to think about getting power of attorney for finance and welfare.
See what you think. I dont want to overload you with stuff!
Warmest, Kindred.

I have a lot to read about it all, as the books the NHS sent me will help me understand. Mum just did a Will, but she only gave me power of attorney for finance only.