Hi to all, my mother is on Donepezil 10mg these at first slowed down and for a while stopped the aggression, the bad temper and the swearing, but now the mention of a bath drives my mother to another level and on one occasion she bit her carer. I have joined here in the hope someone can give me some advice on where to go. My mother has flooded the neighbours below her four times this year, walked out of her area with two kids she did not know, and when she goes out it’s always in the middle of the night, and when I find her she is soaked due to wetting herself. I have been told to get a urine sample done to rule out infection, but even if it is an infection this will not in my eyes change her behaviour, maybe I’m wrong. This has been going on for ages and I am getting passed around in a circle by the authorities. Any advice?
Hi
@George1991 i totally empathise, having experienced this behaviour from Mum. Yet she did an amazing hostess mode when faced with any visitors she wanted- which wasn’t helpful.
I’m afraid low grade urine infections do send anyone a bit” dolaly “ , I cant think of a better word for the behaviour so apologies.
If like my mum she’s suffered with recurrent cystitis previously then she could be prone to repeat UTI. A prophylactic course of antibiotics over a six month period can give you a true reading of your PWD ; but I’ve yet to succeed in his request!!!!
I do believe it’s the PWD frustration of losing control over what happens in life; but that doesn’t help when faced with this behaviour. It’s like having a geriatric toddler with a bank account!!!
Also certain forms of dementia produce certain behaviours depending on how & where the brain is affected; more frustrating is when this behaviour fluctuates!!
For years my mum has exhibited this behaviour, it’s been a long uphill struggle but I do find documenting behaviour & emailing my concerns to all concerned in Mums care GP, SW, carers etc to at least give me a paper trail of the issues.
The incontinence is a major problem & the community nurse has now sorted out pads but that only happened after a hospital admission. Mum to has an aversion to bath/ showers & cares coming into her home!!! Vicious circle & unpleasant to be in the vicinity of, plus Mums negativity drives others away.
I’m sorry you are going through this & I hope that you find answers on this forum. Trust me you are not alone & this forum really does help, not only with advice but as a place to vent.....
keep posting
Sending (((Hugs))) & support, you will eventually make progress it is slow & frustrating; best piece of advice I was given by many was to step back.
At the time I couldn’t see how I could do that but once I did ( & it was hard to & it tore me in bits! & still does) slowly things are improving ; though at times it feel like it’s one step forward & two steps back.
Ask Community nursing staff to get a urine sample - they will liaise with carers to achieve this if you say you can’t/ struggle to do this. Mum responds better to carers when I’m not there.... I seem to be a trigger point for her. By stepping back my mum is now more appreciative of what I am trying to do - in her more cognitive moments! But as the saying goes you are always the child in the relationship with a parent & my Mum was very resentful when I tried to sort things out to help her ; this still remains a delicate issue & my approach has changed. I didn’t think it would work & was frustrated by that advice.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not in a “zen” place - the G& T consumption is high sometimes!!! But all in all looking back progress has been made, along with my ability not to feel so guilty/ consumed by trying to sort/ help out my Mum.
It’s a difficult path through dementia but it’s not one you walk alone
