Just need to get things off my chest, My wife of 10 years had Alzheimer's confirmed in April but had had noticeable memory problems since 2016.
Just after we married my wife's work took us from Essex to Bristol she was a Bio-medical scientist with the blood service and the start of a great new life, this was early 2010 but by the end of 2016 my wife's memory problem made her work very difficult to continue so took early retirement at the age of 58 we are both now 60.
She had had a diagnosis of a minor cognitive impermeant but we noticed her memory getting worse and by the end of 2017 we decided to move back closer to our families in Essex and moved to Suffolk a year ago.
We are around 75 mins form most of our relations with a quieter way of life than Essex with lots of great walks which is one of our must haves and property prices that meant we didn't need a mortgage.
Just before last Christmas we made the decision that I should stop work, I was self employed and delivered artwork and antiques around the country and my wife would join me as by then she was finding it very hard to look after herself but this had to stop because she had a few panic attacks while I was driving and it was just to dangerous to carry on working.
But we are enjoying our life to the full maybe in a different way that we thought we would but that's ok.
Our main worry and something that we both find upsetting his my wife's two grown up sons from her previous marriage, They knew of her earlier MCI diagnoses and things was getting worse but the contact between them and their mum was minimal, we understand that some people bury their heads in the sand and can't face the problem but anytime they needed something they had no problem calling her or turning up on the doorstep because the child minder was ill etc.
One son took his wife and children to a Center Parcs which is around 10 mins from where we now live, he had told us that they would be there and that they would visit which they did, late on the Friday afternoon on their way home and had to rush off to beat the traffic which upset my wife greatly.
Her other son had arranged to visit with his children on a Sunday but forgot (his words not ours) by this time my wife's Alzheimer's diagnosis had been confirmed, but hard has we tried we couldn't tie them both down for a get together so we informed them by text. They both got upset when we explained how little contact they had had with their mum and tried to blame us for this.
We asked to see them both at our home or anywhere/anytime that suited them, but it was three and a half weeks before they could do this.
We then sat down with them and explained about how Alzheimer's affects their mum and they made all the right noises at the time but that's all it was, noise.
Things went ok for around a month, then my eldest (late 30s) stepson drove her home from a family get together 4 weeks ago then nothing since, he has sent me a couple of texts when I had a heath scare 3 weeks ago but not once did he ask "how's mum".
The younger stepson (mid 30s) made arrangements to visits 2 Sundays ago but arrived two and half hours late (on a 65 mile trip) blaming his wife, since then nothing.
I'll stop now because I don't want to bore you all to much.
John
Just after we married my wife's work took us from Essex to Bristol she was a Bio-medical scientist with the blood service and the start of a great new life, this was early 2010 but by the end of 2016 my wife's memory problem made her work very difficult to continue so took early retirement at the age of 58 we are both now 60.
She had had a diagnosis of a minor cognitive impermeant but we noticed her memory getting worse and by the end of 2017 we decided to move back closer to our families in Essex and moved to Suffolk a year ago.
We are around 75 mins form most of our relations with a quieter way of life than Essex with lots of great walks which is one of our must haves and property prices that meant we didn't need a mortgage.
Just before last Christmas we made the decision that I should stop work, I was self employed and delivered artwork and antiques around the country and my wife would join me as by then she was finding it very hard to look after herself but this had to stop because she had a few panic attacks while I was driving and it was just to dangerous to carry on working.
But we are enjoying our life to the full maybe in a different way that we thought we would but that's ok.
Our main worry and something that we both find upsetting his my wife's two grown up sons from her previous marriage, They knew of her earlier MCI diagnoses and things was getting worse but the contact between them and their mum was minimal, we understand that some people bury their heads in the sand and can't face the problem but anytime they needed something they had no problem calling her or turning up on the doorstep because the child minder was ill etc.
One son took his wife and children to a Center Parcs which is around 10 mins from where we now live, he had told us that they would be there and that they would visit which they did, late on the Friday afternoon on their way home and had to rush off to beat the traffic which upset my wife greatly.
Her other son had arranged to visit with his children on a Sunday but forgot (his words not ours) by this time my wife's Alzheimer's diagnosis had been confirmed, but hard has we tried we couldn't tie them both down for a get together so we informed them by text. They both got upset when we explained how little contact they had had with their mum and tried to blame us for this.
We asked to see them both at our home or anywhere/anytime that suited them, but it was three and a half weeks before they could do this.
We then sat down with them and explained about how Alzheimer's affects their mum and they made all the right noises at the time but that's all it was, noise.
Things went ok for around a month, then my eldest (late 30s) stepson drove her home from a family get together 4 weeks ago then nothing since, he has sent me a couple of texts when I had a heath scare 3 weeks ago but not once did he ask "how's mum".
The younger stepson (mid 30s) made arrangements to visits 2 Sundays ago but arrived two and half hours late (on a 65 mile trip) blaming his wife, since then nothing.
I'll stop now because I don't want to bore you all to much.
John
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