Fluctuating Capacity
- Thread starter DesperateofDevon
- Start date
Yes my dad.He has Vascular Dementia.At the beginning of the day we had a reasonable conversation,but by the end of it not so much.Apparently ,last year he drove to a craft fair.I hasten to add he has not driven in 3years.My biggest bug bear is when carers give him toast as he said “Yes”.But ,he is a soft diet..So I can appreciate where you are coming from.
It’s interesting to read others experiences on this
Thank you
Personally I have experienced that fluctuating capacity effects families abilities detrimentally to care appropriately for those with dementia
Sadly yes, my Mum also has vascular dementia and you could meet her and doubt there was anything wrong. But then the flip side is the crippling anxiety, not knowing she’s in her own home, having no capacity for day to day living and then there’s the wandering.
I feel your pain, it totally messes with your head! You continually doubt yourself and decisions that have to be made.
I feel your pain, it totally messes with your head! You continually doubt yourself and decisions that have to be made.
Messes with your head - it certainly does. I feel sometimes I am going round the bend.... looking as this thread it seems a lot of the PWD have Vascular - just like my OH.
Today I had a phone call from Mum, so that means she’s out of bed & mobile; asking me to arrange for the chiropodist to call.
The same chiropodist she doesn’t like or want in her home!
So I honestly don’t have his number to hand, & said so. Waiting to see if she rings him up or not.
But as Mums GP deems her competent she should be able to arrange a home visit
Hate this fluctuating capacity
The same chiropodist she doesn’t like or want in her home!
So I honestly don’t have his number to hand, & said so. Waiting to see if she rings him up or not.
But as Mums GP deems her competent she should be able to arrange a home visit
Hate this fluctuating capacity
Even when Mums been ranting at the neighbours- a real potty mouth when she gets going- still she will present to GP etc as functioning.
Leaving us to pick up the pieces
My Dad has vascular & Alzheimer’s but is the sweetest man ever still.
Mother ....... well we have hit the national dementia criteria but what that means I don’t know. And am too exhausted to keep chasing to find out now!
Oh my the wandering, it’s nuts can’t the GPs see the reality of this nightmare.
So sorry that your mother is giving you the right run-round @DesperateofDevon. I think the only thing you can do is step back and wait for the crisis to happen. That is a horrible thing to have to do, and in the end I just pre-empted things and moved mum to a care home near me before that occurred.
The sad thing is we keep hitting crisis points & still no firm tests or diagnosis so we are in limbo land.
As Mums GP deems her competent we are powerless to prevent or stop Mum from putting herself at risk.
Thankfully she has soft bones so doesn’t break anything when she falls.... just my heart that anyone can be in this situation.
If mum was happy then it would be different but all she talks about with visitors is wanting to die. So now no visitors!!!
Maybe mums only happy when she makes everybody else as miserable as herself?
What a sad life
Still I am determined to not get dragged down with this all.
So distancing myself again is the only option & letting what will be, be.
Unfortunately that is all you can do.If,as appears the GP is useless then as you know it will be a crisis.But,you have to take care of yourself..Let us know how you are doing.Take care.
Could you not see a different GP?
I panicked last week when my OH bought a bicycle without telling me - he lost his license because he is not safe on the road, but, what will be will be - I altered his family that he had done this, and now just leave him to it. If there is a disaster, I have done my best to look after him for years,and at some point there will be an emergency.... goes with the disease I think
The GP has deemed Mum competent so we are powerless to request another GP; but now the surgery is under special measures with the CQC hopefully something will change soon. Local newspapers are talking about the surgery being closed down.
We are lurching from crisis to crisis at the age of 88 how many more can Mum have & survive? It’s sad that each time she has a UTI she never totally recovers leaving her as she is today.
This is something I 100% agree with - especially if they do not "see" the PWD only talk to them on the phone when they can sound completely lucid - yet the carer can see the PWD in a different light and knows the whole picture, but those who have not seen them from one year to the next ie invisibiles, don't believe what the carers say is in the best interest of the PWD - they make their own conclusions based on facts they believe to be true.
How sad that this is a common experience & that GPs who are the point of contact don’t listen. I know Doctors are stretched but my own practice is well run & are horrified at my experiences.
The answer isn’t reporting poor surgeries or GPs to parliamentary bodies it’s about fundamental changes required to dementia diagnosis with a very clear cut process & detailed documentation from family & friends taken seriously. The consequences of SW, carers, family, paramedics, out of hours doctors raising issues & those issues not being acted on should be swift & well publicised. It’s bad enough watching your loved ones going through this let alone a daily battle to have the issues faced by those trying to care for a PWD recognised.
