Welcome to Dementia Talking Point! Find out more and say hello.

[Mark_W]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point

If you have dementia, or care for someone who does, you're very welcome to join our community and get support from others. Find out more about how to join and say hi to our friendly community on this discussion!

Finding out more

If you've got questions about how to use Dementia Talking Point click on these links below.

• You can find answers to frequently asked questions here.
• Our Help videos will show you how to navigate the different areas of Dementia Talking Point.
  
• We also have a Quick Guide explaining how to use Dementia Talking Point including logging in, posting, replying, checking private messages and searching.
• Also we recommend having a read through our Guidelines which are some useful tips and things to remember when posting.

Connecting with others

Head over to our list of forums to find people who are in a similar situation, people at a similar stage of dementia or an information topic that interests you.

Here are some tips on how to post a reply or start your own discussion...

1. When you're in a forum, look for the blue "Post New Thread" or "Reply" buttons at the top or bottom of discussions

2. To start a discussion, type a title, add your message and choose 'Create Thread'.

3. To add a reply just add your message and choose "Reply"

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Any questions?

If you have any questions about using Dementia Talking Point, you can email us on talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk or Use our Contact Form - we're here to help.

Saying hello

This is our welcome thread - the place many members start. Our volunteer hosts and regular members are here to say hello to you and to welcome you to our community.

Why not tell us a little about your experience and how you'd like Dementia Talking Point to help you?

Whatever you're facing today, we hope you find our community to be helpful and supportive.

Mark

 

[avalynn62]

Hi. My name is Lynn. My mother has vascular dementia and my father has Alzheimer's, they were diagnosed within a week of each other. That was almost 4 years ago. Life is tough.

 

[nae sporran]

Hi. My name is Lynn. My mother has vascular dementia and my father has Alzheimer's, they were diagnosed within a week of each other. That was almost 4 years ago. Life is tough.

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point, Lynn. I only have to care for my OH with vascular Dementia, so appreciate how tough life is for you and your parents. You will find the support and advice you need here, so feel free to ask or post further any time.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you and http://carers.org should help you find local support if you need it.

 

[nilyram27]

hi all, just joined... my dad has vascular dementia and it's getting really hard for my mum to manage. i've been googling and it lead me here, and it seems you all may be able to help with advice, so i'm gonna go ahead and post in one of the other forums.

 

[karaokePete]

hi all, just joined... my dad has vascular dementia and it's getting really hard for my mum to manage. i've been googling and it lead me here, and it seems you all may be able to help with advice, so i'm gonna go ahead and post in one of the other forums.

You are welcome here.

I’ve posted helpline details as a reply to the fuller post you made elsewhere as the experts there may be able to assist you.

 

[Aurb30]

Hello everyone, wow this is so hard isn't it. I'm caring for my lovely mom who has late stage dementia. I'm a social worker and thought that would help but nothing prepares you for this. Thank you for letting me join xxxx

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to the forums Aurb30. Sorry your mum's dementia brings you to us, but there's many here who know that horrible feeling of helplessness so you will get any advice and support you need on here.

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @Aurb30 and welcome DTP, so sorry you needed to find us.
It’s a friendly forum so don’t be afraid to ask questions or speak your mind about anything that is worrying you.
I hope now you have found us you will continue to post

 

[Izzy]

Good morning @nilyram27 and @Aurb30 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. I'm glad you've found the forum.

Once you've had time time to have a look around you might want to start a thread of your own. Many people do that in order to ask a question, share a concern - or even just have a rant! Whatever you choose to do I'm sure your going to find the forum helpful.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @ArgyBargy24
a warm welcome to DTP
you've come to the right place for support and information ... members generously share their experiences here

I see you have already started a thread of your own so me,bers will see it and respond in time

 

[GrannysHelper]

all...
I am 44 and chose to take on my granny's Care 7 months ago. I live 50 miles away but I would visit my mothers house a few houses away from granny. Granny would be at mum's, completely confused and her personal hygiene was appalling. Family members were avoiding physical contact due to her unwashed body and unchanged clothing, conversation stopped as her teeth were never brushed.
My mum has a high powered job and was trying her best to help granny but not coping, she had no patience and I could see granny getting angry, frustrated and confused.
My sisters children were frightened, yet at only 9 yrs old voiced their concerns over the way my mum spoke to granny.
My mum's siblings were not dealing with the situation either and wanted to put her in a care home.
I began looking after her- cleaned her house from top to bottom, regularly bathed her and prepared clean smart outfits for her. She started to blossom and the family were shocked at the difference. She started to receive hugs and family would sit next to her and talk. It was heartbreaking that my elegant, smart and demure granny had been allowed to get into such a state.
I am now paid to look after her as I left my job to take care of her.
She is 90 with vascular dementia.
It is incredibly challenging yet I am lucky that I also have amazing moments and sometimes deep personal conversations. One of my nieces 11yrs old pops over to see granny now, unfortunately some family members don't believe granny is ever like this.....
My mum and uncle have really stepped up and are now on board but I worry that they are struggling and communication can be difficult sometimes.
My life is on hold and I am just feeling my way through this massive responsibility!
I will have many questions as dementia takes granny away ....

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @GrannysHelper, you are welcome here and have come to the right place for information and support. Ask any question and you are sure to get an answer from our experienced membership.

Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

 

[Masieb]

Hi thanks for letting me join.
Can anyone help throw some light on paying fees for care please?
My husband is in care, a few months, now the forms are coming re fees.
I have filled them in, we don't have much savings, mortgage on house he already has state and private pension which we live on, i dont have mine for another three years and I don't work as have been home with husband since 2014.. Not claiming anything.
They have taken into account the normal bills, ie mortgage, utilities, home insurance. But the want over £300pw leaving me after budgeting rest of bills phone, car tax and insurance etc.. £70 a week. Can they do that? I can't claim anything.. Can they means test me!!??

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @Masieb and welcome to DTP

I wonder if talking to someone on the Alzheimer’s helpline would be of help

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline

 

[fromnz123]

I don't know if in the right place or not, my husband has various health issues, which has been impacting on all our lives. His personality has changed, he is distant, self absorbed, only concerned with what affects him directly, no interest in life etc etc, GP has now prescribed Prozac for depression, and he may well have depression, but he shows other behaviours which I would think indicate some form of dementia. This is so hard.....

 

[Shedrech]

hello @fromnz123
a warm welcome to DTP
this is exactly the place to post
it can be that depression causes similar symptoms to those of dementia, so I guess his GP is considering depression as a probable cause for the changes in your husband's behaviour
if you are not sure, maybe keep a journal of your concerns so that you can go back to his GP with the journal as evidence and ask for a re-assessment
sadly, having someone go through changes and working to a diagnosis is hard on both of you
so, now you've found us, keep posting; there's lots of support here
when you're ready, start a thread of your own and folk will pop in with responses

 

[Vicky3116]

Hi all,

My mum was diagnosed with dementia in may this year its very different working with dementia to having a close relative with dementia.

 

[Cat27]

Hi all,

My name is Vicky, I am a deputy manager for a care home that specialises in dementia. My mum was diagnosed with dementia in may this year its very different working with dementia to having a close relative with dementia.

Welcome to DTP @Vicky3116.

The emotional attachment is what makes it so difficult.
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @Vicky3116 and welcome to DTP
I think the fact that when it is your job you can walk away for a break from dementia and you know that is not going to be possible with your Mum..
This is a very supportive forum I hope you will continue to post

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Vicky3116
a warm welcome to DTP
a few other members have joined us saying just that ... when it's your own family member, it's personal and all day, every day, so that professional distance goes out the window ... here you're not wearing your 'work hat'
I hope you'll find the forums helpful and supportive for you and your mum
start a thread, when you're ready, with anything that's on your mind and members will pop in with sympathy and suggestions