When you see someone often, you sometimes don't really notice the changes. My invisible brother (has managed just one visit to mum this year
) says, 'Why didn't you tell me she was this bad?' as it comes as a shock to him. Which surprises me as she only seems a bit worse to me. His fault as it is so long since his last visit...
But often it's the small things. Whilst I was visiting last week, two carers came in to get mum changed. I'd been sitting chatting with her and she was... fairly ok. But the palaver! First she says, 'I'm wet up to here.' (points to her nose), which she wasn't. Then 3 of us try to steer her to the en-suite which she didn't recognise. She wanted to go out in the corridor. Once we got her in the bathroom I left the carers to it but could hear the conversation, 'Sit here, B, so we can get your trousers off.' Mum: 'Why?' Carer: 'No, not like that, turn round this way.... now sit down.... no, this way....no, on the toilet!' Etc, etc. Then she started telling them the Germans were in her bathroom....
The carers are very good, but hearing mum talking to them is very weird. When I talk to her I am able to 'ground' her a bit but with anyone else it becomes clear just how completely muddled and confused she is. I don't think there has been a major downturn but the decline seems to be getting steeper. Her speech is really starting to break down now - lack of continuity, problems with word finding, etc. And just a general cognitive decline that is very sad to watch. I think she's moving from late stage 6 towards stage 7 now...
Sorry you've missed your Cornwall trip but I think your decision was probably the right one. Home becomes the safe place more and more as people decline. Take care.