thanks for your replies
my dad is just 80, has always been fit and well, apart from being a bit deaf, he lives with my mum, i have for a while thought it was his deafness that has made him not always understand what was being said, but now i realise it obviously wasnt and the more i have been up to support my mum i can see how confused he is. I took him for a blood test this morning and it was raining, after the test we went to asda and he was pushing the trolley, he asked me to cover the food in the trolley cos he didnt want it to get wet, so he is obviously getting mixed up messages. After spending the last few days in floods of tears adn reading lots of your messages of support to each other, I think this is such a great website, I feel that i am not alone, my hubby is trying to support me but it is all strange, scary and we arent sure what to say or do. His mum and dad are 6 months younger than my dad, his dad is still doing bits of work and came last night, I found myself comparing the such marked diffirence in them, they dont know yet, only my bestest mate and hubby know, suppose i need proper confirmation first before i feel i can tell anyone else. My mum seems to be coping, but she has always been the strong character in their relationship, though i do think she perhaps thinks if she lets her guard down she'll not stop crying. She said it was really bad yesturday afternoon, as my dad asked if she was staying for tea, she said that she lived there and he then said who are you, when she said its me Jessie, he burst in to tears and said he didnt know what was wrong with him, i had to stop myself crying at this and went to hug her but she touched my arm and walked into her bedroom as my dad was trying to put my shoes and coat on ready to go, I got him to sit down for a while and then mum came back and we got off. He seemed a bit more with it when he had something to eat when we got back, for a little while anyway, but i had to go to work for a meeting, fortunately i only work a few mornings a week. gonna go to bed now thanks for your support luv liz