Hi everyone, I’ve just spent an hour trying to get my husband to take his daytime clothes off and put some clean incontinence pants and pyjamas on. So I gave up, went out the room,came back after 5 minutes which usually works, found him fast asleep in bed with his smelly pants ,jeans and top still on and nice fresh ,clean sheets!!!!! I am so ,so tired after only a couple of hours sleep last night....bad cold,sore throat, blocked nose and cough. What have I done to deserve this, I’m only 66 but feel like 86!! Feel much better now I’ve got it out my system....keep smiling, I’ve got through 8 years + of Alzheimer’s so I’m sure I can manage a few more
Bedtime
- Thread starter Mrs Ozz
- Start date
Hi there Mrs Ozz I understand what your saying I too have been having a bad time of it since before Christmas we are now near the end of January and he's got no better in fact his dementia has got a lot worse in the last few weeks and there's nothing I can do to stop it . it's so hard to accept,all you want to do is cry ,so like you say keep smiling and we will carry on regardless .My thoughts are with you ,Take Care of yourself.Xx
I’m sorry things are bad for you at the moment and I hope they improve @Mrs Ozz and @Martarita.
If things have suddenly deteriorated the possibility of that being caused by an infection exists and so there will be hope for improvement once that is under control. I do hope it’s that simple.
If things have suddenly deteriorated the possibility of that being caused by an infection exists and so there will be hope for improvement once that is under control. I do hope it’s that simple.
Thank you ,it sounds just like me... think it feels worse because I’m full of cold and feeling lousy!! He’s in a foul mood and only just got up!! He’s walking around in pants,socks and smelly pyjama top at the moment, hope no one comes to the door!!
Thank you for answering my post I just know how Mrs Ozz must be feeling at this moment in time .I myself have been feeling really sad and upset crying most of the time especially first thing on a morning and when I'm in bed ,our doctors really don't seem to understand when I try to explain what is happening they think when I say we have to go walking all the time it's just once a day but no it's not it can be up to ten times we're in and out all day long ,my OH is on the move all the time with what they call sundowning ,so I just want to thank you karaoke Pete for being at talking point and always trying to help with your advice,I actually think the only people the truly understands are the lovely carers at talking point .Thank You again Karaoke P ,Take Care X Hope all this make sense to you .
It all makes perfect sense. At times it exhausts me and I too have a quiet cry.
There is a factsheet about the various behaviours that contains a few tips and you may find it worth a read. Anxiety can play a part in this wanting to be active and it would be worth talking to the GP about this. My wife is on meds for both anxiety and depression as well as her Alzheimer's - there is a factsheet about that too.
The factsheets can be found by clicking the second lines of the following links
Changes in behaviour (525)
PDF printable version
Apathy, depression and anxiety (444)
PDF printable version
Dear Mrs. Ozz. I am really so sorry for your situation. I am only 64 and my OH is 65. It is really a bummer we are faced with these situations. (But of course, to my 30 year old children and my young friends I am old, although I do not feel old today.)
And you are so right TP and the advice and friendship here is invaluable. Also, a place to let off steam....Good luck. I hope you get him cleaned up....and I hope you will get some care for yourself so you can recover from your cold and sore throat.
Anyway, I am sad for you. I am so lucky, I was given sage advice about getting in help early so my hubby would accept it. Does he only let you help him? Or do you have some outside support. We started out with walkers, moved into a "mansitter" who does some caring (ie pedicures and manicures sometimes she bathes him), I still help him with showering and bathing which is working for now, when it gets to much for me and moves to the next stage, I plan to get in a the home helpers who will bath him. Can you get more help? It sounds as if you are at the end of your rope!!!
Hi Mrs Ozz,
I have to deal with this bedtime problem. Every once in while OH either refuses to dress, undress or shower and he turns nasty for a couple of days. Then we have sweetness and light. Following the last episode he called me "babe" (really never in his vocabulary). I have never been able to work out what brings it on. When it is bad I think I will have to get carers in but I can mostly cope and am quite resistant to having other people in my house. As you say we have done it for so long so probably can manage a little longer.
I have to deal with this bedtime problem. Every once in while OH either refuses to dress, undress or shower and he turns nasty for a couple of days. Then we have sweetness and light. Following the last episode he called me "babe" (really never in his vocabulary). I have never been able to work out what brings it on. When it is bad I think I will have to get carers in but I can mostly cope and am quite resistant to having other people in my house. As you say we have done it for so long so probably can manage a little longer.
Hello there. I have the same problem he does not understand why he has to take his clothes off for bed gets cross with me, I too walk away come back sometimes he lets me as I have to like you put a night time pad on, I am so tired then sometimes I have to change the bed as it goes through the pads, I bought myself a tumble dryer best thing I ever did not quite the present I had wanted. your not alone I feel for you,
Oh my, I can’t believe how good it feels to hear other people’s problems sounding so similar to mine!!! You just think it’s only happening to you, thank you so much for your reply and keep smiling.
Thank you so much for your reply, I’m feeling very emotional with all these lovely words from people I don’t even know.Picking up some new medication this afternoon which will hopefully help,for him not me ,!! . Try mens Tena incontinence pants for nighttime wear, Ozz objected at first but is in them all the time now.....can’t remember where toilet is . Keep smiling
Been using Tesco men's incontinence pants for nearly a year now, but night time incontinence been getting worse recently, so put an extra protective shield inside the pants, which has helped. Worst problem is sitting on the commode at night, trying to get him to sit back far enough - although new commode has a larger aperture, the bucket/pot, which came with it is round and not really large enough. Thinking of inventing something new so men can use a toilet and commode sitting down more easily!!! He wants to use the toilet but never enough time to get there!
My other half has begun to wet himself when he doesn't get to the loo quickly enough. I noticed that he keeps changing his pj bottoms. Then last night he got out to go to the toilet, I woke to find him urinating onto his chest of drawers!
I moved the chest of drawers this morning and placed a commode in there place... he went mad and made me put them back!